What if?
by labelma
Summary: What if the war never happened? This is a version of what could have happened, from the point of view of two new initiates. Original characters, and non original characters. All the even chapters are written by 64thestarkidwholived, I cant take credit for everything, she wrote it with me!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: this story is co-written with the awesome 64thestarkidwholived. You should check out her stories. Anything written in the point of view of Avigayil is mine (I might switch to someone else for a chapter, maybe Tris or something, but I will tell you), and anything written in the pov of Tuvia, is 64's (I assume the same goes for her). enjoy, and don't forget to review. **

**Avigayil:**

I wake up to the annoying beep of my alarm. I hastily shut the contraption off, not wanting to hear the noise anymore. My heart sinks when I remember what today is. The aptitude test. The day I will figure out where I really belong. Some people know exactly where they are going, and whether they will stay, or leave. I'm not one of those people.

I force myself to leave the heavenly blankets, and to get ready. I pull on a white blouse, and a black pencil skirt. I know that every step I take is one step closer to the aptitude test, but I can't just avoid it forever, so I brush my hair, and apply my makeup anyways. When I look in the mirror, I typically like what I see. I'm not perfect, or gorgeous, but I don't dislike myself. I'm not one of those self-haters with confidence issues. I do have trouble my hair though. I like the red color, but it is so hard to manage. Not that it's super curly, there is just so much. I sigh, and put it in a bun.

I slump down the stairs, still not fully awake, when I am greeted by my overly cheery mother. My father has left early for work, as usual, and my three year old sister, Chaya, runs around the house screaming. Yaakov, my twin brother sits at the table, staring into space. He has been doing that a lot lately. If I transfer, he will be the only one I will truly miss.

Even though we are fraternal twins, we look alike. Same red hair, and facial features, although his eyes are dark, and mine are light green. I'm not sure he will get a Candor aptitude. He has been keeping things from me in the past year. We used to tell each other everything, but then he became distant. He didn't want to speak to me as often, and it depressed me, because I knew this could very well be our last year together.

"Good morning Yaakov." I say with a smile, despite the rabid squirrel gnawing at my guts.

"G'morning Avi." He says, also smiling.

I don't eat breakfast. The rabid squirrel has taken up too much space already, although everyone else scarfs down their food. High metabolisms run in the family. So does red hair.

*page break*

At school, I don't pay attention to classes. They are all shortened, and it's not like we will have school again, so I space out, and think about the aptitude test. It's possible that I could get Candor, but I'm not really that honest. I actually don't know where I fit in, but hey, that's what aptitude tests are for, right?

When the time comes, we all walk to the lunch room, like a herd of cattle, and we all uneasily eat our lunches. The nervousness I feel does not equal out the hunger, of a teenage girl, with a high metabolism, so I eat, and enjoy my pasta. My mom makes great pasta. The thought hitches in my throat. I could be leaving her behind soon. I won't miss my father. I rarely see him. I love my little sister, but she screams a lot, and I would enjoy the sleep. I would only miss my mother, and Yaakov, but then again, I might not transfer. I will just have to wait and see what my aptitude is.

"Avigayil Goldmann, Aria Gransky from Candor." Says the lady with the clipboard. I send a pleading look to everyone at my table, but it's not like they can do anything. I have to get up, and force myself to walk into the room.

Inside, I notice the room is full of mirrors, and there is a metal chair in the middle. An Abnegation lady says,

"Hello Avigayil, my name is Natalie, and I will be administering your aptitude test today." I can't speak, so I just manage out a nod. "Please sit down, and allow me to prepare you." She starts pressing electrodes on herself and I. "Please drink this." I don't think. I just grab it and gulp it down, although it was a bit of a mistake because it tastes horrible! I am about to complain, before everything goes black.

When I open my eyes, I'm not in the aptitude room anymore, I'm in the cafeteria, and it snows outside. There are two baskets on the table. One contains a knife, and the other contains a lump of cheese.

"Choose" says a bodiless voice.

"Why?" I ask

"Just choose."

"Fine." I say, and I grab the knife. I hear a growl that comes from a large cat. No, not just a large cat, a mountain lion. I remember reading that they were abundant in the old times. I have a knife, which I can stab the lion with, but I really don't want to. I have a cat at home, and I plan on getting another after initiation, irrespective of where I go. I've always loved them, and I seem to be pretty good with them. The lion just looks like a big housecat. Maybe I can take a risk. I put my hand out, and I bend my knees, and I slowly walk closer to it.

"Here kitty kitty, who's a cute little kitty." I say, using the same voice I use with my cat at home. The lion breaks his stalk and he walks towards me purring. I smile when he rubs his head against my leg, because I know it is a sign of affection. I can't help myself, and I pet it. Remember I love cats.

Suddenly a little girl, that vaguely reminds me of Chaya comes running into the room.

"Kitty!" squeals the girl, and the lion turns towards her, and pounces. I make a rash decision, and I jump on top of the cat. Everything goes black.

I now sit in the middle of a desert, and in front of me are an old car, a pack of water bottles, and a game device.

"Choose" says the same voice, and I know not to resist. The game device is just stupid, picking that would mean death. The smartest choice is the water, but that's just a temporary fix. If I pick the car, it could possibly get me out of here, even if it might break down, or run out of gas, and I would be stranded again with nothing. I decide to take the riskier choice, and I walk to the car. It goes black again.

I'm in a bus. Across from me, sits a man, whose face is covered by a newspaper. He shifts a little, so that he can see me.

"Do you know this man?" he says as he points to the picture of a man, with the word murderer under it. He seems familiar.

"No." I say

"If you know him, you could save me!"

"I said no." I say commandingly. He lunges at me, so I kick him in the groin, remembering a self-defense class I once took, and I run, but this soon goes black too.

I wake up in the aptitude room again. Natalie smiles, and says,

"Your aptitude is Dauntless. I suggest you spend the rest of the day thinking about your choice."

My face goes pale. I quickly thank her and I leave the room. I sit back down at my table. I don't say anything, despite my peers' questioning tones. They expect me to say what happened, because that's what Candors do. Yaakov says nothing. He knows better than to question me. He will only have his test near the end, because everything is done alphabetically, according to first names, which I always thought was strange, because the choosing ceremony is backwards alphabetical, according to last names. I put my head on the table, and I soon doze off.

*Page break*

I wake up to Yaakov shaking my shoulder.

"We have to go, I was the last group." He says.

"Ugh fine." I say, and I get up and yawn.

We catch the bus home, as usual. Some families have parents to take them home, but my father is always busy working with Jack Kang, and my mother is always busy with Chaya, so we take the bus. I'm a bit wary of riding a bus, after what happened during the aptitude test, but it wasn't real, and it's not actually going to happen. By the time we get home, it is three in the afternoon. We don't usually have dinner until 5 o'clock, but when I walk in, I smell something delicious.

"I'm making a special dinner, for you guys, it will be ready at five, you can relax until then." Says my mom, from the kitchen.

"Okay mom." Both Yaakov and I shout.

"Can I talk to you?" asks Yaakov, "Upstairs."

"Okay." I reply, and I follow upstairs to his bedroom. Unlike mine, his room is very plain, with only what he needs, whereas I have decorated every square inch of my room with posters, paintings, colors, and random things that somehow ended up stuck to the wall. Yaakov takes a deep breath and then says,

"I'm transferring to Dauntless." I smile. I guess I won't have to leave my brother behind.

"So am I" I say. He also smiles. "So, what do you think dauntless will be like?" I ask

"Probably really dark, and everyone will be violent, with tattoos all over their body, even the children." We both laugh, and go on speaking like this until dinner.

*page break*

Dinner is delicious. Rosemary lamb chops, with mashed potatoes, and string beans. I can tell my mother worked very hard on this. She even has a surprise dessert. I think she knows that we will leave. My mother always knows. My father is actually here for once, and I know I will have to tell my parents that we are leaving, so that we can say a proper goodbye. I hope they understand.

When everyone finishes their dinner, my mother brings out the dessert.

"Chocolate lava cakes, with vanilla ice cream." She announces. They look delicious, even though everything is soy, because Chaya is allergic to milk. She passes out the plates with the cakes. She even decorated it. I share a look with Yaakov, before I say,

"Yaakov and I will transfer tomorrow." My father gasps, and my mother smiles sadly. Chaya says, in her little kid voice,

"What does transfer mean?"

"It means that your older brother and sister will be leaving tomorrow." Says my mother sadly.

"Are you okay with it?" asks Yaakov

"Sweety, you two will always be my children, and I will love you no matter what, but I can't stop myself from wishing you would stay." My mother says with another sad smile.

"Well, I won't accept it. No child of mine will leave this faction." Says my father coldly

"You don't have a right to call us your children!" I say "Today was the first day in 10 years you were home before we went to bed."

"I was busy working to earn money, so I could put food on the table."

"So you couldn't come home an hour early, so you could see you children more than once a month?"

"That was never my choice."

"Of course it is. You don't think Jack Kang would understand? He has a son too you know."

"Fine Avigayil, if you and Yaakov don't want to be my children, leave, and go enjoy your life at whatever faction you choose to go to. I have work to do." And he gets up and walks to his office.

"Was that really needed?" asks Yaakov.

"I think he needed to know how his work affected his children. Maybe in the future he will be more of a father to Chaya. Just know that I will always love you, and I want you two to be happy. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go speak to your father. Enjoy the cake; I made it especially for you two." My mother says. She really lives up to her name Ahava, which means love.

"I'm gonna miss you Avi" says my little sister. I can't help but melt when I hear this, and I run upstairs before I cry.

*page break*

I wake up with only one thought in my mind. Dread. I cried myself to sleep last night, knowing that the last encounter I will have with my father was terrible. He practically disowned us. My throat still hurts from all that crying, but I get ready anyways. As usual, I wear a white blouse, with a black pencil skirt, but I put in the diamond studs that my mother gave to me. I usually only wear them on special occasions, but I want to take a piece of her with me.

Breakfast is fancy, just like dinner last night, pancakes with all different things in them. I pick one with blueberries in it, and I eat quickly, so I can have more than one, but after the second pancake, another rabid squirrel decides to come and make a nest in my stomach, so I have to stop eating. Yaakov hasn't even touched his food, which is a bad sign. He loves food just as much as I do, maybe even more, but it makes sense, we are leaving our home today.

*page break*

My mother drove us to the hub. Before we went to our places, she gave us both huge hugs, and told us how much she loved us. Chaya also hugged us, though she couldn't quite process what was going on, in her little toddler brain. Now we stand in line. Yaakov will choose first because it is backward alphabetical, but we will both have to wait a long time, because our last name starts with a G. This year there are more transfers than usual. I carefully watch the dauntless transfers, but my mind is to muddled to be able to think right now. By the time the person before Yaakov is called, I am sweaty, and shaky, and I want time to just stop. When Yaakov is called, he confidently walks up to the bowls. Jeanine Mathews, who is running the ceremony this year, hands him the knife. I hate Jeanine. About once a month, she releases an article insulting the Abnegation. There was a time last year, when she did it so often; they came almost 3 times a week, now, it's not so often, but I still hate her for it, even though I'm not Abnegation.

Yaakov cuts his hand, and quickly dumps his blood onto the coals. The Dauntless cheer and the Candor jeer. My name is called. I stumble on the way there, and everyone laughs. My face heats up, but I force myself to walk with my chin up. I take the knife, and cut my hand. I don't want to leave, but I don't want to stay either. I pour my blood onto the coals.

**A/N: so tell me if you liked it or not. I know I changed around the aptitude test a little, but remember tori said she had to force the simulation to the bus because tris never chose the knife or cheese? Yeah well, avi chose the knife. The next chapter will be written by 64(I will abbreviate her name to that from now on.) and will probably be in Tuvia's pov. So please review, because I love reviews, and I need to know whether my story is good or not, and if I need to improve. Thanks for reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I'm 64thestarkidwholived. I hope you like Tuvia, because Tuvia the original character and I are great friends now, and he's a really great guy, even if he's fictional. Thanks!**

**Tuvia:**

_"Nechemia?" I asked, shivering from the contact of bare feet on wooden floor. I hope I didn't startle him, a voice hidden in the shadows. He must be awake and deep in thought._

_ Nechemia, my older brother, moaned, his constant, house-vibrating snores interrupted, and rolled over drowsily on his side to face me. I suppose I was wrong, and he's more laid-back than I thought.. "Wh...What is it, little brother?"_

_ I turned red, but he couldn't notice in the midnight darkness. "Are you transferring tomorrow? You know, factions?"_

_ He sighed, probably silently laughing at his foolish little brother, even though he's just a year my senior. "Listen, Tuvia, you know how it is - I can't tell people!"_

_ "I know...but..." I paused, trying to find the correct words. "I'll miss you, big brother," I finally said, sounding like a child._

_ "I'll miss you, too," he beckoned me closer with his right hand, which I could hardly see in the unlit room._

_ My eyes widen, which he can now see with the reduced distance. "I mean, if I transfer. Which I may or may not be doing!" He added quickly, but I was not convinced._

_ "Aren't you nervous?" I asked._

_ He laughed quietly, and rustled my curly mop of black hair. "A bit, but I'm also exhausted."_

_ "Sorry," I apologized for forcing him out of a much-needed slumber._

_ "It's alright. Whether I switch or not, this is my last night as a kid under this roof," Nechemia shrugged, then yawned. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, little brother."_

That night was one year - and about six hours - ago, and that year's made all the difference. In one year, I've had to adjust to a Nechemia-less Amity, only to be stuck in a situation just like his had been.

Nechemia, the jerk, transferred to Candor mere hours after that conversation. The secret of his chosen fate - kept until the initial Choosing - was likely the last secret he ever will hold. I don't get it. Why would he just leave me? I needed him, and he was gone with no warning before. I thought we were brothers, the ones who tell each other everything. Not...brothers, who hide.

"Tuvia...my little Robin..." Mama whispers gently, flipping on the light switch to my bedroom. I open my eyes, which had been closed, feigning rest, though I have been awake and worrying for a few minutes prior. "It's the day of the Ceremony," She says with a sad smile. I sit up and give her what may be my final hug with her.

We pull apart, and Mama leaves the room and shuts the door, leaving me to get dressed in solitude. I stand in front of the mirror in my red sweatpants and hold today's Amity red and yellow outfit - maroon jeans and a dark red blazer, not exactly complimenting my yellow button-down dress shirt but, for we Amity men, such things will have to suffice - in front of my bare chest.

I'm considered fairly handsome among people my age. I thought for a long time that the compliments on my exterior appearance were just Amity being Amity, but even some other Factions' girls - even a few _Abnegation - _flirt openly with me. 'Adorkable', I've been called. I suppose maybe I am, with my abundant jet-black curls and noticeably angular, rather thick eyebrows. Thing is, I don't want all these girls throwing themselves at me. I'm not 'oh-my-gosh-I-want-that-guy-for-a-birthday-present' good-looking, in my opinion; I'm just 'oh-hey-it's-Tuvia-Gutman'.

Nechemia was good-looking in a muscular, chiseled way that always made him look Dauntless. He, when I last saw him, had slightly overgrown brown hair and was beginning to grow a mustache. His favorite aspect of his appearance, which he pointed out frequently, was his crooked jaw, which always moved to the right when he opened his mouth. He had lots of girls hooked on that, mainly Dauntless and Candor.

This is the last time I will ever wear these colors before I trade my wardrobe for a new closet full of other colors and...and a new life. I take a deep breath and get dressed, then take one last glance around my bedroom, shut the door, and slowly walk down the hallway to the kitchen.

"So, Tuvia," Mama takes a large gulp of coffee as we sit at the table a minute later, unsure of what to say. As Amity, we are all taught to be excellent with conversations, so this lapse is unfamiliar.

"Choosing Ceremony at noon, right?" I ask, already knowing the answer. I just hope that I can finally know where I want to live my life if I keep making the day seem more real.

She confirms this with a nod. "Do you...know where you're going?"

I think back to that night, when Nechemia wouldn't tell me what he was going to do with his life. I wonder if this is how he felt, knowing that he's going to let his family down. _No, _I think bitterly. _Mama and I aren't as close as Nechemia and I are - were._

"You'll find out soon," I kiss her cheek.

"But, Tuvia, my little Robin," She chokes back sobs. "I'll miss you."

I don't bother denying that I'm going to leave. "If I stayed, I'd become Factionless. I'll always be your Robin, but I need to fly eventually."

"You're such a great boy, Tuvia," Mama smiles. "Never forget."

A few hours later, Mama, Papa, who woke three hours after we did, and I make the long five-mile walk - Papa's a big health-nut, and likes when we all walk instead of drive - to the Hub. We exchange final words, one last hug, and I take my place onstage, standing between some Candor boy with red hair and a twitchy Dauntless boy with shaggy blond hair and a spray-tan a dreadful shade of rotten clementine. The order of Choosing is in reverse alphabetical order, so I have some time to think.

I have approximately seven minutes, four people, before I will be called up, and I'm still unsure of where I'm switching. I stayed up all night, wondering - but I'm just not sure. The Aptitude Test said I'd be good as Dauntless, but Dauntless sounds a bit nutty, jumping off of trains and all. I'm not scared, but I hate looking stupid in front of other people. I'm a tad vain, I'll admit, but looking dumb is why I don't think I want to be Dauntless.

As Tikvah Habibi, the girl two people before me, transfers from Erudite to Abnegation, earning her various insults shouted from a blue mass of people, I attempt to be rational and use the process of elimination.

_I know I want to switch, as I have developed a very unpredictable personality in Nechemia's absence, almost like frequent mood swings, which do not pass in Amity, _I reason as "Habachor, Eliyahu", the boy with the tic sitting beside me, strides forward confidently to alter his destiny with a drop of blood. _That leaves four._

_I'm positive I don't want to switch to Candor as well, though I'm not sure whether this is because I don't want Nechemia to see me, or because I don't want to see him, _I decide as Eliyahu cuts a gash, without breaking a sweat, over the Dauntless coals. _That leaves three._

_In addition, I'm pretty sure I'd lash out at someone, after following everyone's orders constantly, so Abnegation Tuvia would be a complete disaster, _I think as "Gutman, Tuvia" is called forward, takes the knife, and stands before everyone. _That leaves two._

_Oh. My. G-d. It's time. And I'm not even sure what I want to do yet, _I realize, my heart thumping like a million children jumping up and down on my ribs. _Wait, wait, wait, _I calm myself. _Be logical. Erudites are bullies to the Abnegation. I may be leaving Amity, and I may be kinda prone to bad moods, but I can't go there. That leaves one. That leaves... _I approach the coals and cut my hand, watching in regretful horror as the condemning droplets of blood sizzle. That leaves Dauntless.

The Dauntless cheer, and the Amity, who think it rude to challenge a decision that has already been made, stay silent, but I think I hear quiet sobbing in the crowd. I sit back down and wait as the redhead boy sitting beside me, "Goldmann, Yaakov", and "Goldmann, Avigayil" - probably his sister or something - transfer from Candor to Dauntless, and as the rest of the kids from "Goldman, Tehila" to "Aharoni, Atalia" spill their blood.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, Tuvia! _I scold myself, following the others outside. _You'll die! You'll look stupid! Because you are stupid for becoming Dauntless! You could've stayed, or gone someplace sane!_

_It's within you, _a small voice in my head whispers. _Dauntless blood boils within you_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: *sigh* no reviews. Well, 64 and I plan on making this a lot longer, so I assume we will have at least 10 reviews by the time we finish the story. Anyways, this takes off where the other two chapters ended, right before the choosing ceremony ends.**

**Avigayil:**

Apparently I am the smallest dauntless transfer, and I'm not even that short. I would put myself at about 5"3 and I weigh 107 pounds, which is not that small, and yet everyone TOWERS over me. Yaakov is lucky. He's pretty tall, well; at least he doesn't stand out. On the other hand the other transfers are staring at me, and probably thinking in their thick heads _this girl is no threat, whatsoever. _I'm just going to hope that they aren't right.

When the last kid has mutilated their hand, the Dauntless take off running, where too, I have no idea.

"What's going on?" I ask, to no one in particular. All I get is a bunch of shrugs, and a chorus of "I don't know"s. Well, we are part of dauntless now, so we may as well follow them.

I start running, and the other transfers also start running. The Dauntless run out the room, and down many flights of stairs, all while flat out sprinting. I was always pretty good while running, but this just tires me out. There is no other choice, unless I want to be factionless, but I don't have to like it.

The Dauntless run outside the building and to the train tracks.

"Shit." I say. We all know what is going to happen next. The Dauntless are notorious for riding the trains.

"You can say that again." Says a boy with black hair, who wears Amity red. I vaguely remember him going before Yaakov.

The train comes and the Dauntless start jumping. I watch their technique. They first jog alongside the train, and then throw themselves in. I smile. I've always prided myself in being a high jumper. Maybe I can do it in spite of my height. I start running. When I come near an opening, I use all my strength (which isn't much) and I throw myself into the train. Only my upper body makes it though. I take a deep breath, and I start pulling myself up. I will not be factionless, and I will make it on this train. I exhale, and I kick my leg out onto the platform inside the train. It works and I roll inside the train. Yaakov comes and helps me up. The first thing that comes to mind is to sit down. I remember learning about tornado safety in school. In order for strong winds to lift you up, there needs to be space between your body and the ground. Sitting down will eliminate most of that space, and therefore, I won't fall, or tumble out of the train.

I spend the next half hour observing everyone around me. There are three Amity, two Erudite, two Abnegation, and three Candor including Yaakov and I. That's 10 transfers in all. The dauntless themselves are all wearing black, and many have tattoos and piercings. Everyone looks so grotesque.

Suddenly a tall Abnegation girl shouts,

"They're jumping out of the train!" And I turn my head to see that she is correct. From the train to the top of a building is about 3 feet. But if someone happens to miss, you would fall about 7 stories to you death. If I run and jump, I should be able to make it. We have about 10 seconds to jump, when the train comes near the roof. I get ready. As soon as we get there, people start jumping. No one wants to be left behind.

I step back a little, and then I run and jump. I am floating in the air for a second, before I land. I land on my feet, which makes me happy for a second, but then I feel the jolt. It's like two knives went into my feet, and the sensation goes up throughout my entire body. I can feel it in my teeth. I fall onto my knees. For a few seconds I sit there, not wanting to get up. When I finally do, I wince, because I can't put any weight on my right ankle without pain_. I must have hurt it when I fell. _I think to myself. I go and stand in the cluster of transfers with my brother. Suddenly, a man steps up onto the ledge of the building, and clears his throat. He has greasy, shoulder length black hair and so many piercings on his face I can't count. He begins,

"Hello, my name is Eric. I am a leader of the Dauntless, and it is my job to oversee the initiate training this year" _shit_ I think. Something tells me that he isn't a nice person. He goes on, "below me, is the member's entrance to the compound. If you cannot find the courage to jump, then you don't belong here. Initiates get to go first. All the members part, making a way for all the initiates to get to the ledge.

"Is there something at the bottom?" says a blonde girl with blue eyes, who is about my height. Eric just shrugs.

"Do you want to go together?" Yaakov whispers in my ear. I grin

"Let's go." I say. We both walk together to the ledge.

"One at a time." Says Eric we just stare at him and step up onto the ledge. I look down. All I see is a black pit. Obviously there is something down there; they wouldn't just send their initiates to their death, which would be stupid. I look up to Yaakov, and then I jump. He jumps with me. It feels like I am flying, before I hit something soft. I look at it. It's a net. I guess it makes sense. I see some hands, and I grab one. So does Yaakov. The girl who is attached to the hand is blonde, and slightly shorter than me. There is a look in her eyes that says _I may be small, but I swear I will crack your neck if you mess with me. _The man who pulled Yaakov off the net is tall with dark hair. They both looked surprised.

"Uhh, what are your names?" the woman says

"Avigayil."

"Yaakov."

"Ummm First Jumpers, Avigayil, and Yaakov." Shouts the man.

"Welcome to Dauntless." The woman says, "Now go stand over there, and wait for everyone to jump." Yaakov and I do as we are told, and we wait for the other initiates.


	4. Chapter 4

**Tuvia:**

Well, I've only been in this crazy faction for about a half hour, but that's all it takes for me to ruin my own life, nearly become Factionless at the _first train, _which would've been mortally embarrassing, and be about to jump to what looks like my death. The first jumpers were those Goldmann siblings, and now all of us remaining are gaping at either each other or the pit of darkness.

I leap up to the front, hoping to comfort my fellow soon-to-be Initiates. "Listen, they wouldn't have us jump to our deaths. There are Dauntless people alive, who went through this. Anyone want to go now?" Wide eyes glare back at me.

I am about to shrink into the crowd and pretend I never said anything, when a girl with auburn hair from Abnegation leaps up. "I will if you will," she winks.

I try to stay brave in appearance. "Ladies first."

"Oh, it's fine, I just came from Abnegation. Amity first," Her eyes sparkle, like this is all a game. This girl, this one right here, is Dauntless if there ever was one. I see why she transferred - Abnegation doesn't accept this type of boldness.

I grin. "Sure."

_Whatever, _I think. _Either I'm going to die from the impact, survive - for now, or automatically suffer a life as Factionless right now and look like a doofus. _

I unbutton my rather tight blazer - Mother thought it looked nicer while buttoned, but that blazer feels like a noose around my abdomen - turn my back to the ledge, facing the other kids, and spread my arms to either side of my body. "See y'all on the other side," I shout. I turn to the cute auburn-haired girl. "You're next." And I fall backwards to my death.

At first, I feel nothing. Then, I get the feeling of freefall. My blazer billows around my ribs, so I probably look like a colorful flying squirrel. _Thank goodness nobody's nearby now, _I think with a smirk. Suddenly, the shock of what I just did kicks in. I literally just confidently jumped to my death. In front of _everyone. _If I die, I'm screwed, socially.

At last, I hit something. _Wait. _This something is...a net. I was right! I want to shout up to the cowards up there that it's safe, but I'm pulled up by some guy and directed toward a wall, where those two gingers stand.

Three people in a row, no speaking, all awkward silence. I'm not used to this. Nervously, I try to start a conversation. "So, guys - Um, Yaakov and Avigayil, right? - that was...interesting, huh?"

To my surprise, Yaakov smiles. "Yeah, what's up with that Eric dude? Issues alert!"

I laugh, and Avigayil giggles. "This'll be...a challenge, won't it?"

Yaakov and I both nod as, finally, the auburn haired girl drops to the net. She pulls herself to her feet, recoiling at the blond girl's outstretched hand and ignoring her puzzled look.

"That was awesome!" She shouts, running toward me.

I grin at her. "Hey, by the way, what's your name? You didn't tell me."

"Sivaaaaan!" She sings her name. "And yours?" She says with false seriousness.

"Tuvia," I lean against the wall.

"Uh-uh, no," She shakes her head in disapproval. "It's...Tuviaaaa!" She sings my name.

"Fine, I'm Tuviaaa!" I sing, then burst into childish laughter, accompanied by her higher-pitched chuckles.

"Why'd you pull away from that woman?" Yaakov asks. Oh, Candor, can't they ever shut up? Maybe it's just my Amity heritage, but I think it's just...mean.

Sivan's smile remains, but a bit smaller, and a bit sadder. "I hate being dirty, or around germs. Maybe it's from being Abnegation, where we couldn't always shower. Whatever caused it, it's been a problem with me since I was around twelve. And human contact, do you know how many germs are there? Oh, I get chills just thinking of them all..."

As the other kids continue to rain from the sky, the guy and the girl direct them all toward the wall with the Goldmanns, Sivan and i. "First four," I whisper to Sivan. "Like. A. Boss."

Eric drops down last, once everyone is down, and unleashes his menacing stare upon us all. "Cowards," He mutters, quiet and threatening. "You cowards hesitated. Jump!

"Anyway, you'll all be competing for a spot among our faction. Those of you who fail to be the best...will be Factionless."

I look at Sivan, getting scared. She pulls her bulky sweater sleeve over her hand, then gives my hand a comforting squeeze through the thick cotton.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: is this story really that bad that after 4 chapters I don't get a single review? If it is, then review, and tell me. Anyways, here is the new chapter. This is just the part where I tell you who the initiates are. Sorry if it gets annoying. **

**Avigayil:**

It takes quite a while for everyone to jump, although I'm not sure if that is regular. By the time everyone has fallen, my feet hurt, and I'm bored. The other transfers are like this:

Tuvia- he jumped after Yaakov and I did. He is cocky, and arrogant. Former Amity.

Shmuel- Brown hair, brown eyes. He seems to be the joker out of everyone. Also former Amity.

Ioni- Blond hair, and blue eyes. He is Shmuel's lackey, always following him around.

Sivan- Auburn hair, brown eyes, really tall. She seems nice, but her germ phobia is a bit strange. Former abnegation

Ohad- black hair, brown eyes. He is about six feet tall, but he is very thin. He seems nice. Former Abnegation.

Shahar- One of my friends from candor. I'm glad she transferred. She has black hair, and brown eyes. Her complexion is dark.

Margalit- Auburn hair, hazel eyes. She is extremely huggy, and nice. It seems she could belong in Amity, although she came from Erudite.

Lele- Blonde hair, blue eyes. The only initiate around my height. She is a bit shy, and hasn't said anything so far except her name.

Then it's just Yaakov and I. The two people that pulled everyone off the net, and two other girls, one with black hair, and a lot of ear piercings, and a smiley girl with short black hair, and dark skin, lead us down a series of dark tunnels, and then they abruptly stop.

"My name is Christina, and this is Lauren," says the smiley girl, while motioning to the girl with the ear piercings, "We will be training the dauntless born, who will now follow us." And she walks away, leaving us transfers with the other two Trainers.

"My name is Tris." Says the girl

"And I'm Four." I hear snickers. What parents name their kid a number, "And before any Candors ask, yes my name is a number, get over it." I glare at him. None of us were going to ask.

"We will be training you, and Eric, will be overseeing everything, as I'm sure he told you up on the roof. He said that you will be ranked, and that this was a competition, so now I will elaborate. There are three stages for initiation. After the first stag, four people with the lowest ranks, including the dauntless born, will get sent to the factionless. After stage three, six people will get voted off, and the remaining ten will become members. Tomorrow is the first day of stage one. Be in the training room at 8:00 sharp. Now we will take you on a tour of the compound."

They lead us through more tunnels, until we stop by a large pair of double doors. The boy, Four, starts this time,

"Behind me is the pit. In it, you will find places for food, necessities, shops, and entertainment."

They open the doors. The pit, as it turns out, is a huge underground cavern. The shops and etc. are all carved into the rock walls, and paths without railings lead to and fro. The celling is made of glass, and as it appears, there is a building made of glass that sits on top. The trainers lead us towards a side of the pit where there is a metal railing. I lean over it, and I see a huge underground river. It crashes into rocks creating rapids. Four speaks again,

"The Chasm represents the fine line between bravery and idiocy. A jump of this railing will end your life. It has happened before, and it will most likely happen again."

Tris whispers something in Four's ear. He nods, and gives her a look.

"Let's go eat, shall we?" says Tris shakily. Why is she trembling, is she afraid of height, because that would really suck in a place like this. They lead us to the other side of the pit where there is a large arch. Behind the arch is a cafeteria. When we walk in, the dauntless all cheer and clap. It brings a smile to my face. I head over to a table with Yaakov, Tuvia, Sivan, Shahar, and a few other initiates. The only ones, who decide not to sit with us, are Shmuel and Ioni, who go off and sit at a table by themselves. The instructors go off and sit with some Dauntless who look like their friends.

"The instructors are a bit strange, aren't they?" says Lele.

"Yeah, what kind of name is Four?" replies Sivan.

"Maybe it's just a nickname." I remark. The rest of them nod their heads. "But the girl Tris looks kind of wimpy. She is shorter than me, and did you guys see her face when we were by the chasm. She went soooooo pale." I say while smirking.

"Yeah dauntless is about fighting, and strength. If that's what we are supposed to learn during initiation, then how are we supposed to learn it from her?" Asks Shahar.

I zone out, and I start to eat my food. Salad and spaghetti. It's not as good as my mother's but it's good. I can tell Yaakov is thinking the same thing. I remember what Tris said about rankings. I can make it through this. I can be Dauntless. As my mother used to say, I can do anything I put my mind to.

**A/N: Sorry for the crappy chapter. I had to introduce the initiates. I promise, m y next chapter will be better, but before I can write that, I have to wait for 64 to do hers, so I will upload as soon as I can. **


	6. Chapter 6

**[This little note here is from labelma: finally got our first reviewer, but sadly it was a guest, so I can't say his/her name. ok, now you can go and read 64's part. Don't forget to review.]**

**Tuvia:**

"Come on, Tuvia, let's sit down!" Sivan leads me through rows of tables, dancing around and ignoring the confused stares we receive from a few people.

_Oh, man, _I think when I sit down to eat. _What crazy situation did I just jump into from that ledge? These kids can probably kick my freaking butt. Well, I'll fake it 'til you make it. _I straighten my back, trying for confident, but abandon the attempt after a few moments, being a little bit sore from that jump earlier.

I hear a few kids at my table gossiping about that girl, Tris, saying she must be weak. Thing is, I've met a lot of people, considering that my brother and I are two different kinds of popular, and, well, _were_ very close. Among that number of people, I've been often surprised by their personalities. Like Sivan, who is bold and funny despite her Abnegation upbringing and germ problem? Tris made it through all the Initiation, so I have faith in her. Besides, clearly everyone failed to look at those biceps, in plain view because of her tank top. I don't blame her for getting a bit freaked by that chasm - I thought I was going to pee in my pants, being that close to a freaking one-way ticket to a gruesome death in the dark.

I try to ignore the slander and look around at who will be joining me, however long I last:

_Yaakov- Seems pretty awesome. I want to try befriending him, if his sister doesn't get in the way of that. He seems funny._

_Avigayil- Doesn't seem too bad. I'm not sure if she's timid or just doesn't like me. I can read people to a mild degree, since I'm around others so often, and I get the feeling that she didn't want to talk to me when the other Initiates were jumping. I'm not sure, though, since most Candor people would've outright said that they dislike me._

_Shmuel- Such a jerk. He used to be in Amity with me, and he rolled his eyes in such a conspicuous way when I'd say 'hey', or even when I walked by._

_Ioni- I hate talking about him, as the subject pains me. He was my best friend until we were eleven, and he decided Shmuel was just the coolest thing ever. He ditched me to be Shmuel's enslaved wing-man. He and Shmuel aren't sitting with the majority of the group - probably because I'm with the majority. Good. Let them be isolated for trying to isolate me._

_Sivan- She's great! Confident, hilarious, and fearless. A perfect Dauntless. Of course, until someone will try to touch her shoulder..._

_Ohad- He's really tall, but not the gawky-looking kind. He seems like a cool guy, but he has kept to himself a lot. Maybe he's just a bit awkward._

_Shahar- She seems like a fun person. I don't like what she's saying about Tris, though. Oh, well, that'll straighten out soon. I'm sure she's a nice girl._

_Margalit- She seems a bit too into contact with her friends, always hugging them and giggling. She seems nice, however, so I'm okay, as long as she doesn't give Sivan a freak attack._

_Lele- She's pretty quiet, like she's not quite sure everything and everyone here is safe. She's probably right about the Dauntless Faction being dangerous, if that's really how she's feeling. Smart kids, those Erudite transfers._

I shrug and smile to myself, satisfied overall with both my descriptions for the kids, and the company I'll be joining here. I glance down at my hands, resting on the table, and realize that I haven't even taken a bite of my meal. I gaze hungrily for a moment, realizing that I've hardly eaten all day.

The salad looks pretty awesome, consisting of lettuce, perfect slices of fresh cucumbers and hard-boiled eggs, and shredded cheddar cheese. On the tables sit bottles for squirting several varieties of salad dressing.

I'm not really a fan of pasta, but I don't care because my stomach sure sounds like it's a fan of food. The spaghetti strands lounge on top and beneath each other. I plunge my fork into the edible tangled pandemonium that is a bowl of noodles, and force a bit too much into my face.

Spaghetti half-tumbles out of my mouth, held in by the other ends of the strings. I cover my mouth as much as I can self-consciously, but the mass cannot be concealed by my hands. The kids sitting near me at the table glance over at my predicament and chuckle a bit. I repeatedly attempt, humiliated, to shove the pasta into my mouth, but soon I'm trying to force back a laugh as well. At last, to the soundtrack of a bunch of teenagers giggling, I succeed to swallow my first bite, and I join the noise erupting from our area.

"Are you okay there, Tuvia?" Yaakov snickers, slapping my back gently.

"Bit off more than you can chew, huh?" Lele pipes up, surprising me.

I laugh. "Yeah, got that right." I mean that in more ways than one today.

"Sooo," Sivan draws out the vowel. "What do we do now?"

Ohad shrugs. "I dunno."

Avigayil hurriedly quiets us down by slapping her hand in the middle of our rectangular patch of table. Answering our startled looks, she subtly points at the center of the room, where Tris and Four - quite a name he's got there, I'll admit - are trying to get our attention, Tris on a table, Four on the linoleum beside her. We sit quietly until the last few kids have noticed, and Tris opens her mouth to speak.

"Follow us now, to find where you'll be living," She projects her voice to us. Four takes her by the waist, lifts her off the table, and the two lead us out the door.

We walk a short distance down a hallway, and then the two stop us outside of a single door. Four opens the door, and makes a gesture toward the threshold.

Ohad raises his hand. "Is that for the guys or the girls?"

Tris and Four exchange a look, as though they were hoping to answer this question. "Both," They answer together, holding back grins.

We all glance at each other, murmuring. Are they serious? We're stuck in a co-ed room? That might sound pretty awesome to some people - such as Shmuel - but it's just awkward to me.

As we walk inside, Shmuel, flanked by Ioni, checks me against the wall. "Relax," He sneers. "It's not like anyone's going to look at_ you _while you change_."_

I smile at him, and then bring my knee up to his stomach. He doubles over for about twenty seconds, which I relish with a sickening joy. Unfortunately, he straightens up again, struggles to wave me off like I didn't hit him, and turns on his heel, followed by Ioni.

Like I said: Such. A. Jerk.

** Well, that was fun! Anyway, sorry if this chapter was a bit confusing!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So now that the whole intro to the story is past, training and drama starts yay. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to tell me. **

**Avigayil:**

Apparently there is only one dorm room for boys and girls. I'm not all that surprised, but the stiffs are. It must be so strange to go from somewhere like Abnegation, to Dauntless. I would say the same thing about Amity, but I'm not quite so sure, after what that jerk, Shmuel, just did. I guess fights are a given, but really? On the first day? I walk up to Tuvia and say,

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just got pinned up against the wall."

"So? It's not like I was punched or anything."

I roll my eyes, and walk away. I'm trying to be nice and make friends. Whatever. I can make friends with people who aren't egotistical douchebags.

I look at the sleeping situation. Beds have been moved around into circles. Shmuel and Ioni have chosen two beds in the corner. Sivan, Lele and Tuvia who were fast friends chose to sleep near each other. Yaakov and Shahar have chosen to move into a circle with Margalit and Ohad.

Yaakov pulls a bed up for me. I sit down on it. The Dauntless have provided us with the basics, like toiletries, and a few pairs of clothes, but we are expected to go buy stuff for ourselves. The way money works in Dauntless is alike to what we do in Candor. Everyone gets points to spend, depending on their occupation. Initiates get a certain amount, while leaders, or people higher up, get about 5x as many points as we do.

"Does anyone want to go shopping?" asks Margalit. Shahar and I quickly and willingly agree, while Ohad and Yaakov smirk, like they don't need more than two shirts. Whatever, I will pick Yaakov up some stuff.

"Okay, so where do we go first." Asks Shahar.

"We should first get necessities, and then depending on what we have left we can get more." I say. "I assume we will need exercise clothes for training, pajamas, underwear, and casual clothes."

It takes us a while to get to the pit, because we are unfamiliar with the hallways, but we do eventually get there. Shahar pulls us into a lingerie shop.

"Um, why are we here?" I ask. Margalit nods.

"I don't want to be here either, but the Dauntless have separate shops for everything. If we need underwear, we need to get it here; besides, they have some pajamas and workout clothes."

"How do you know this?" Margalit asks.

"There are signs. Duh!" exclaims Shahar.

"Let's just get what we need, and leave." I say. The other two crack up at my unwillingness to shop here.

By the time we are done shopping for necessities, my arms hurt from carrying around bags. We used up about half of our points for the month. Suddenly, Margalit, who asked us to call her Marge, says,

"I want a tattoo."

"Really?" says Shahar, "I guess I want one too."

"You know tattoos are permanent, right?" I ask

"So?" they both say.

"Whatever, I'm getting a second piercing in my ears"

"That's permanent too." Shahar retorts.

"Yeah, but if I decide I don't like it, I can always take it out." I say. Shahar sticks her tongue out at me. I give her the finger. We both laugh. Marge just drags us to the tattoo/piercing place. My ear piercing will take a lot less time than their tattoos, so I help them choose tattoos. Shahar decides on a dove in flight, with an olive branch in its beak, on her shoulder. But Marge takes a bit longer. She walks around the room, looking at pictures. Finally she decides on a tree, with fern-like leaves, and clusters of white flowers, that droop from the branches. She asks the lady to put it really large on her back. I guess we will be here a while, waiting for her.

I decide to use my mother's diamond earrings for the new holes, and I look around for new earrings for my current holes. Eventually I find these amazing ones. It is an orchid flower, made with different types of crystal. I see mother of pearl, ruby, emerald, and amber. They are expensive, but what else am I going to spend my points on? Food is given to us, and I've already bought clothes, so I take them anyways, and I go sign up to get my ears pierced, and buy the earrings.

*page break*

By the time we get back to the dorms, it is about 9 o' clock, but everyone is still awake. I put my bags of stuff by my bed, but I take the bag of clothes for my brother and I throw it at him.

"What the hell Avi?!"

"Just look inside, and thank me."

"Oh, thank you Avi" he says, and then tries to kiss me on the cheek, but I squeal,

"Ewwww, don't touch me, you don't ever shower." And I jump away. Everyone who could hear (which means everyone who is in the room. I have a loud voice) starts to laugh, especially Yaakov. I'm pretty sure he did that on purpose. Jerk.

"I'm gonna go get ready for bed, we have training tomorrow at eight. It would be smart if you do the same." I announce to no one in particular, but nevertheless, people agree with me. I'm glad I bought new pajamas, because I, unlike some other people, prefer to sleep with clothes on, especially because we share the dorm with boys.

*page break again*

I suddenly wake up in the middle of the night. I think I had a bad dream, but I can't recall anything, just that it wasn't good. I look at the glowing clock. One in the morning. I sit up. My head pounds. Yaakov speaks from the bed next to me,

"Can't sleep either?"

"No, I just woke up."

"Oh. I never fell asleep. I can't stop thinking of home."

"Same. I think that's what my dream was about, but I don't remember."

"I'm just glad you transferred with me."

"We should try and sleep."

"Yeah… good night Avi."

"G'night"

And I slip off into sleep, drifting into a strange dream, where I am outside in a sunny field, under a shady tree, that looks like the tattoo Marge got. It smells floral, and birds chirp from all around me. I feel peaceful. I feel happy, as if nothing bad can ever happen in this perfect place.

**A/N: So, this didn't come out as nice as I wanted it to be, but whatever. Please review. **


	8. Chapter 8

**[A note from labelma: A special thanks to fivepointstogryffindor for being our first follower, and favorite. **

**Now to reply to cat(guest)- I would reply by pm, but you don't have an account, so I can't. I understand the names are a bit confusing, in fact that is a bit expected, because they are all in another language, and are simply transliterated. 64 and wanted to use these types of names as a sort of inside joke. If anyone has trouble with pronunciation, just pm me, or 64, we can help. Also Cat asked for more fourtris, and for tris to show her badass side. I assure you, that will definitely happen, I was already planning it, so don't worry, those things were already going to happen. **

**Tuvia:**

Immediately, everyone breaks off into the cliques that formed in this short time, and begin to head out toward the different shops to spend their points on necessities. Lele, Sivan and I kneel on our beds, arranged in a circle, and plan:

"Well," I say. "We need clothes. That's for sure."

"Yeah," Quiet, soft-spoken Lele agrees. "And...I want a tattoo. Y'all in?"

I hesitate, but Sivan's face lights up. "Yes! Definitely! I need to prove I'm Dauntless, not just some eccentric germophobe...Stiff. Oh, and can we get piercings, guys? Please?"

I shrug. "I can get a tattoo, sure. But...earrings, I dunno. Not a manly thing to do." I need to prove that trait because, to everyone else, I'm currently the kid with no best friends who are guys in this Faction.

Sivan bats her eyes pleadingly. "In Dauntless it _is._ And we're Dauntless. Let's go!"

"My, my," Lele teases. "Now I see why you left Abnegation."

Lele and I laugh as Sivan rolls her eyes and beckons us to the doorway. "We're going shopping! Shoppy-shoppy-shoppy!" Sivan sings loudly, running down the hallway with us chasing after her. I don't think we were turning all the right ways in the maze of hallway but, after racing back, forth, left, right, and in circles to keep up with Sivan's hyperactive sprints, we finally reach the Pit.

Growing up in a Faction other than Abnegation, I was always used to shopping in Amity shops. This, however, beats the rows of red and yellow stores in my old life by a landslide! The Pit is huge, full of stores for everything! It's like a large-scale version of the little cloth boxes I had in my Amity room to keep everything organized. The shoes - over there, in the shoe store. Underwear? A whole store for lingerie - which I pray Sivan and Lele will peruse together on their own, without me.

"Where to first?" Sivan asks me, her first sign of a former Abnegation, asking us for our opinion.

"I vote clothing!" Lele calls, raising her hand. We oblige, and enter the casual clothing store. I try to split apart from them, but Lele takes my hand. "Tuvia," She says. "We need a guy's opinion, and then you can have _two _girls' opinions on your choices."

I take a seat on a bench and watch the girls flip through racks of black clothing. Lele seems to search with ease, like every article of clothing is just another Erudite book of hers, whereas Sivan doesn't quite seem to know what to do, awkwardly pushing the same outfits back and forth along the rail of the rack, not looking, just moving them around. We are all getting confused stares from Dauntless shopping beside us, and I realize I'm still clad in my flamboyant Amity clothes, Lele still in her Erudite uniform, save for the glasses, and Sivan is still swimming in her oversized grey Abnegation clothing.

At last, a woman, around twenty-two, with a dark complexion, a dragon tattoo wrapping around her bicep, and several piercings along her ear, approaches Sivan. "Are you finding everything alright today?"

"Yes," I hear Sivan say quietly, gazing at the magnificent ink reptile. "I just need some help with knowing how to dress." She plucks at the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "I am - I was - Abnegation, so this is all new to me."

The woman smiles. "Okay, what's your clothing size? I'm Yuval, by the way. What's your name?"

"Sivan, and...I'm not sure?" She answers.

Yuval looks her up and down. "I think you'd be a medium in shirts and...I don't know about pants. Follow me, and we'll look for some things that'll fit you."

Yuval and Sivan are off, exploring the store, and Lele stands beside me, an arm full of clothes. "I'm gonna miss wearing blue," She sighs, and takes her old glasses from her pocket, slipping them onto her face. "But I'm not going to miss what blue stood for. Do you know what I mean?"

"I understand," I assure her. At last, a dressing room is open as a grotesque woman with more tattoos and piercings than actual skin steps out with a T-shirt and jeans hanging over her forearm.

Lele grins. "Wish me luck!" And she closes and locks the door. A minute or so later, she jumps out wearing black jeans and a black tank top with small rhinestones along the neckline. "Ta-daa!" She giggles. "Thoughts?"

I don't know much about women's clothing. "Uh...it's...nice," I tell her stupidly.

"It's a really good, basic outfit," She says, placing a hand in the pocket of the jeans. "I can basically wear it anywhere - besides training, of course."

Sivan and Yuval return, Sivan holding a single outfit. "Just find me if you need me," Yuval says to her, then returns to standing behind the checkout counter.

Eagerly, Sivan steals Lele's changing room. Soon, she exits, wearing black yoga pants and a black shirt with lace sleeves, revealing peeks of milky white arms, untouched by the sun. She twirls around. "I know it's so plain," She explains excitedly. "It's just so...light!"

By the time we exit the store, we all are holding bags containing one choice outfit, and several basic black T-shirts and pants. I chose black cargo pants and a black V-neck, but I hope it's not too feminine when everyone sees me wearing the shirt.

"Guys," Lele stops us. "We should go over there now," She points at..._the lingerie shop. Darnit._

I turn red. "Maybe I should go shop for something else while you two do that..."

Lele laughs. "No, I mean for the Training Clothes! There are clothes for Training there, for guys and girls. We'll split up in a bit, to shop for more...personal items." She takes my hand, nearly takes Sivan's - but thinks better of it right before contact - and leads us in.

We walk through rows of underdressed mannequins, and I gaze at the floor all the way through, until we reach the Training Apparel section, further toward the back.

After several stores, we each hold bags for the basics - Training clothes, casual clothes, underwear, hand sanitizer for Sivan, etc. - and all that remains consists of tattoos and piercings, held in a single shop.

We open the door, and the smell of rubbing alcohol fills our nostrils. A brunette woman with a black scarf, several piercings, and tattoos on her arms greets us. "My, my, lots of new Initiates! I'm Michal, the tattoo artist. If you'd like to get a tattoo, sign up in the list on the counter, and think of what you want. If you want a piercing, think of where you'd like it, what it'll be, and sign up in the adjacent book!" She says, sounding very perky and happy, then leaves to attend to a customer.

We sign up, and begin to think of what we'd like to get as our first permanent Dauntless tattoos. Permanent. Like Dauntless was our _permanent _choice, unless we fail. I think back to home, and wonder what kind of symbol could be a link to my family. I think back, remembering my mother. The way she used to call me... "Robin!" I mutter suddenly.

"Hm?" Sivan's head tilts to the side, puzzled by this outburst.

I blush crimson. "I want to get a robin tattoo on my upper arm. What about you?"

She grins. "I was thinking...promise not to laugh, okay?...a skull on my shoulder. But with flowers and hearts!"

I nearly snort, surprised by this choice, until I realize how well this suits her. Sweet, on one hand, represented by flowers and hearts, but also fearless, represented by the skull.

Lele pipes up, "I want to get a deer on my calf!"

We all sign up and, while we wait for the person before us to get their tattoo, we plan out our piercings. In the end, I decide I want one black onyx stud earring in my right ear, Lele wants a blue flower on both her ears, and Sivan wants pearls in her ears.

When the customer before us, a red-haired man, stands and leaves while admiring his tattoo of a lion on his muscular bicep, I approach Michal, who is beckoning me forward to the tattoo parlor half of the store.

"What do you want, dear?" She asks.

"A...A robin. On my arm," I tell her.

She swabs my arm with rubbing alcohol, cold and fluid against my skin, and picks up the needle. As the needle punctures my arm, I fight the urge to cringe, not wanting to mess up Michal's concentration or shake her hand.

A few minutes later, she smiles, admiring her work. "You're done!"

I thank her, scared to look at the new permanent picture on my arm. _Be Dauntless, Tuvia, _I remind myself, glancing down to see a beautiful inked drawing of a robin in flight, a bit of its red belly showing beneath the angled wings, which almost seem to have the texture of a feather. I brush my fingers tentatively along the outline of the bird, grinning. I reveal my arm to my friends, who gasp.

"It's gorgeous!" Sivan cries.

"How'd she do that?" Lele, ever the curious Erudite, asks.

Sivan stands to receive her own masterpiece and, soon, she stands up with a skull surrounded by flowers and hearts on her shoulder. After we've "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed, Lele is given her own tattoo of a doe, wrapping around her leg like a cuff so the doe appears to be peeking out from behind Lele.

When we've all received our tattoos and, soon after, our piercings, we feel ready to return to the dormitory, now ready to look like Dauntless, and pumped to compete against everyone to become Dauntless.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: yay, we actually have followers now. Thanks to the people who review and follow, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I was really anticipating writing this chapter, for reasons you probably don't care about, so here we go. *Coarse language warning***

**Avigayil:**

I wake up to the sound of hushed whispers. I open my eyes and I see that Shmuel and Ioni are talking. I'm a little miffed they woke me, but I don't want to interrupt, knowing full well they won't hold back from hitting a girl. A sigh escapes my lips. They both hear, and stare at me accusingly. I smirk and raise my hands to symbol innocence.

I check the clock. 7:00. perfect, time to get dressed, and get breakfast before training. Everyone but the evil duo is asleep. I decide to wake them up, since no one has alarm clocks yet. I go around, shaking people's shoulders, slapping their faces, and dodging their angry punches. When my job is over, I chuckle, and head into the bathroom to get dressed and ready. I assume that since we are in Dauntless, training will be physical, and vigorous, so I chose a pair of yoga pants that go to just below my knees, a sports bra, and a comfortable, and light t-shirt. All black. I look in the mirror. My hair has decided to rebel today, but after yanking a brush through it, and pulling out many hairs in the process, it looks fairly presentable, but I tie it up in a bun anyways.

On my way out of the dorms, Shmuel and Ioni stand in front of me blocking my way.

"Not so fast, little girl." Sneers Shmuel. Ioni just laughed. I may be small, but back in Candor, my friends know me as the violent one. I may not have grown up Dauntless, but I know not to let people walk all over me. My favorite way to defend myself is to kick, because no one ever expects it, and I make up for my lack of upper body strength in my legs.

I smirk, and kick Shmuel as hard as I can in his shin. He falls.

"Hey, what the fuck?" shouts Shmuel

"Piss off!" I reply "And stay away Ioni, I'm not afraid to kick you too."

Yaakov runs up, and stays,

"I'm sorry; my sister has a bit of a temper."

"Yaakov, they had it coming. I'm your sister, you should take my side." He just gives me a look.

I just walk away fuming. How could Yaakov? Out of everyone here, he should be the one to be on my side.

"Hey, what happened?" asks Marge. She, Ohad, and Shahar had followed me.

"Shmuel and Ioni were being bullies as usual, I kicked Shmuel, and Yaakov of all people came and started apologizing for me. What the fuck is his problem?"

"I'm sure your brother is just trying to help you. Making enemies is unwise." Says Ohad calmly. Its good reasoning, but I am unwilling to make any excuses for my idiot brother.

*page break*

We stand in a single file line, while Tris passes out guns. Once everyone has their guns, I hear a click, some laughing, and something cold touch the back of my head. What Shmuel probably expects me to do is scream, cower, is cry. What he doesn't expect me to do is spin around and hit him with my gun, which is why my rash decision worked so well.

"Leave me alone, you cunt. What's going on in your fucked up mind that you put a gun to my head?!" while I scream at him, Four comes up behind him, and grabs him.

"Do you think this is all a joke? I can easily get you kicked out of Dauntless for this behavior. One more like this, and I won't hesitate." Four says this all calmly and quietly. "Avigayil, watch your mouth."

I scowl and stay quiet.

"As I was about to say before I was so rudely interrupted" says Tris pointedly at Shmuel, "Stage one is mostly physical training, stage two is emotional training, and stage three is a combination of both. Today is target practice. I will now demonstrate how to use a gun. Pay attention."

Tris shows first how to prep the gun, and then how to shoot it. I watch her stance.

"Remember not to hold your breath, now go practice." She says, and her and Four go and sit by the back of the room, while Four takes note, most likely about us.

I turn towards the target. I know there is a kick. If I place my feet about a foot and a half apart, and keep my arms slightly bent, it won't affect me as much. My assumptions are correct. The kick is strong, but I was ready. My shot is not by the target, but I manage to get a corner of the plywood board that the target is painted on. After half an hour at practice, I'm not the best, but I can get within the center circles of the target. At least I'm doing better than Ioni, who hasn't hit the target once. The trainers release us for lunch. I head to my usual table, with Marge, Shahar, and Ohad. Yaakov follows. At first I resist even looking at him, but I can't help myself,

"Oh, so now you wanna act like my friend again?"

"I'm unaware of doing anything."

"I'm not I little girl, I don't need to be apologized for, I can take care of myself."

"It's not smart to me making enemies this early."

"They were the ones bullying me."

"You shouldn't drop to their level."

"I was just defending myself, besides, how can you still side with those dickheads after what they did to me during training. Some brother you are."

"I'm sorry that happened, I'm pretty sure Four put Shmuel in his place."

I just roll my eyes, but Shahar starts to say something,

"Speaking about that, isn't it a bit strange how Four does all the physical work? Obviously Tris isn't cut out to train us, if she isn't even strong enough to grab Shmuel."

"Be careful what you say Shahar…" says Ohad quietly. He is the wise one of the group.

After lunch, we go back to the training room, where Tris and Four lead us to a bunch of punching bags.

"Now we will learn fighting techniques. Tomorrow you will fight against each other, Four will demonstrate-"

"Are you sure that you are the most qualified to teach us about strength and fighting?" asks Shahar. There is anger in Tris's eyes. Four speaks in her ear, which calms her down a bit, but she is still angry.

"Shahar, what are you doing? She will kill you!"

"Please, the girl looks like a twelve year old, I doubt she could do much more than give me a little bruise."

"Excuse me, what was that initiate?" Asks Tris. Shahar might have spoken too loudly, "You think I can't hurt you?"

"I'm like twice your height. I'm just looking to get the best training possible."

"You already are." Four says, smirking a little.

"I bet I can fight you and win." Says Shahar to Tris.

"Are you sure?" asks Tris

"Yeah I'm sure." Tris just shrugs, and leads Shahar to a fighting ring. Shahar is too sure of herself. She even throws the first punch. Tris ducks, and punches Shahar in the stomach. While Shahar is distracted, Tris kicks her legs out, and pins Shahar's shoulder's on the ground. The fight literally lasted 10 seconds.

"I guess there was a reason I was ranked number one, now get back in line. Learn some respect initiate." Says Tris while smirking. Shahar is my friend, but she kind of had that coming. Tris oes and stands in her original place next to Four, who puts his arm around her shoulders.

"As I was saying, Four will demonstrate the correct Punches and kicks, and you will practice for the next hour."

Four starts to go through certain moves. I carefully watch his stance. I am no stranger to hitting things, and despite my height, I _do_ have muscle, I just never had any technique to my fighting, I just went with my instinct. I start practicing. Like the target practice, I'm not great, but I'm good. I was smart to actually watch Four instead of just assuming that I am already amazing like some other initiates *cough* Shmuel, and Tuvia *cough*

The trainers walk around giving pointers. Tris comes to me. She smiles.

"What?"

"Nothing, you just remind me of myself during my initiation. Your technique is as good as it could be, but you're not as strong as you could be. Put more power into your punches, remember to strike first, and I can see you going far."

I take Tris's advice to heart, and I try putting more power into my punch. At the end of training, I am satisfied with how I did. I head out to dinner, starved from two hours of combat training. Dinner has never tasted so good. That night I finally sleep well for the first time in a few weeks.

**A/N: so did you like it? Tell me in review. Sorry for the cussing, I felt it was needed. Start to expect a bit of cussing from Avigayil, she isn't very reserved about what she says to people**


	10. Chapter 10

**Tuvia:**

Ioni and Shmuel...I can't believe them. I mean, being hostile and annoying in Amity is practically taboo, but _hitting _some random girl is just...well, let's just say they'd be Factionless faster than you can say "sorry".

I meant to talk to Avigayil last night, maybe comfort her by giving her my support against the two thugs, but I was too sore in the thighs and shoulders from such intense, unfamiliar training to do much more than wash up and go to bed, blocking out any other noise but the sound of my own drowsily buzzing head.

I wake up this morning reluctantly at six-forty, roused by rolling half off of my bed and feeling the absence of solid mass under the left side of my torso, hanging off the edge. I attempt vainly to return to my slumber, not wanting to peel myself up and condemn myself to a rerun of yesterday's pain and violence. I wonder whether I'm the first one up or not, when I see a figure straighten up slowly from a mattress. Ohad, the gentle giant, looks around, his feet planted on the floor. Careful not to wake his friends, he prances around on his tiptoes, looking like a dancing tree in the dim light. I crack a smile at this simile, and I rise to begin my day.

On my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I meet up with Avigayil, who must have woken up while I was changing - I'll admit, I wasn't exactly being as graceful as Ohad the Dancing Tree. A toothbrush vigorously moving back and forth in her mouth, she nods a curt "hello". I whip out my hair gel - I always place a bit at just the front of my hairline, to keep this big mop out of my eyes, but still curling wildly - and meticulously begin working on my hair, making sure the curls look glossy, not frizzy.

While I style, I begin talking, a few octaves quieter than usual, since it's early. "Hey, Avigayil, I just want to tell you that I think you're right. Shmuel and Ioni are...all those things you called them and more. If you get the opportunity to crush them, have me in mind," I tell Avigayil.

She gives me a grateful, toothpaste-covered, awkward smile, then spits out the mint-flavored mess. "Thanks, Tuvia, and keep me in mind, too, if you beat one up," She chuckles, then turns off the faucet to go get dressed.

Dressed in my black shorts and T-shirt, I stand an hour later among the others where we stood yesterday, but lacking guns this time.

"Today," Tris projects from her tiny frame. "We'll be trying something new - to some, at least. We'll be doing hand-to-hand combat, no weapons, to the dismay, I'm sure, of a few of you," She takes a few steps closer to the far right of our row. I lean my head forward and look over to see that she's talking about Shmuel and Ioni.

I try not to snicker, because I'm pretty sure Four would kill me for that. Tris, a foot away from the jerks, suddenly pivots away, and continues speaking, "A few of you are familiar with this section of Dauntless education," She turns and glares at Shahar, who is standing two people to the left of me; Shahar, in return, swivels her head nervously to the right, to look instead at Four.

Four decides, probably hoping to prevent three murders by this girl, to take over speaking, nonverbally forcing Tris to take over his job of standing quietly and looking nonchalantly intimidating. "We'll be assigning fight partners:

"Tuvia and Ioni; Sivan and Ohad; Shmuel and Yaakov; Avigayil and Lele; and, Shahar and Margalit."

Tris jumps up before Four can say anything else. "I trust you've all seen the basics, yesterday, and Four and I won't have to demonstrate," She flashes a smile, half "hey - when - this - is - all - over - and - you're - Dauntless - I'm - really - a - nice - person", and half "die - weaklings - die".

I look past the two to see a thin, wide mat on the floor. Sivan, standing next to me, leans gently against my side, and I feel her shaking a bit. I look at her to see a complete wreck of the confident, goofy Sivan I have known during my short time as a Dauntless Initiate. Her eyes are red and watery, and she's muttering unintelligible things under her breath. She can't make contact with people, and this is freaking straight-up physical contact! But Four and Tris can't see this, or she'll get kicked out first.

I tilt my head down a bit and whisper, "Sivan, put on a brave face. I'll...I'll buy you, uh, soap. And, if you win, I'll get an ice cream cake for you. Besides, Ohad showered this morning, before most of the others were awake. He's clean," I assure her quietly. She sniffs, then nods.

"Tuvia and Ioni, you're up first," She instructs, now seeming more indifferent and less bloodthirsty when she stops talking about yesterday's battle.

With Sivan's problem taken care of, I look around for the poser I'm supposed to beat up. He steps forward from the line, staring menacingly at me. I raise a condescending eyebrow at Ioni, but I approach him. We stand four feet apart on the mat, when I'm overcome with a horrible anger, flooding my mouth with the metallic taste of desired bloodshed, and my eyes pulsate in my head.

"You..._phony,_" I growl at him, just barely quiet enough that nobody can hear me. "You know what? You never were my friend, not even as little kids." I thrust an uppercut punch to his chin, savoring the feeling of his slightly pudgy skin shaping itself around my knuckles. His head jerks, and I shove a foot into his rib, pushing forward and down a bit, and jump onto him, so I have Ioni nailed down. To insure his stabilization, I quickly take his arms, fold them like he's wearing an invisible straitjacket over his slightly rotund stomach, and kneel on them, forcing my knees into his wrists. He cries out in pain, but I'm not giving him mercy.

I lean my face toward his, five inches apart. "You snobbish, evil brat..." I spit in his face, but he smiles, his face shining with sweat and my saliva slowly dripping down his cheeks and into his ears, since he's on his back.

"You're nothing but a fool, Tu-Tu," He taunts. Tu-Tu was his nickname for me...when we were friends. "You think I'm on the decline here?" He brings up his knee, a part of Ioni that I'd neglected to restrain, hitting my lower spine.

I surge forward from the impact, falling over so my slightly bony torso crashes onto Ioni's face. I think I feel a pop against my ribs, and Ioni rolls me off of him. I look at him, now working laboriously to stand, confirming that his nose, indeed, is gushing a crimson waterfall down his shirt, and is likely broken. The blood flow isn't too visible when it reaches his black shirt, but the disgusting coppery smell of blood fills our mat.

This seems not to bother Ioni at all and, once he's on his feet, he full-on tackles me, grabbing my black curls and twisting my hair - my best feature! Praying he didn't just mess up my appearance for the next few months, I try to roll him off, the way Ioni did before, but he's managed to cover most areas of me that could fight back - knees, arms, abdomen.

"This is the bottom line," he wheezes through the red streaks on his face. He punches me across the face, leaving me with a burning pain in my cheek and jaw, and the taste of blood wraps around my tongue. I struggle against his hold, and I nearly get out of his grip, both of us being as slippery and blood-soaked as we are, but he perseveres in his desire for victory, reaching murderously for my throat, a killer's leer on his ugly face. _Whoa, _I think dizzily, _three days in Dauntless sure can change a guy._

As his hands close around my neck, ready to strangle to death, or at least paralyze, I think fast and jam my forehead into his vicious grin. I think I might've knocked a few teeth loose, and he pulls back. Nobody's going to kill me in Training, and definitely not Ioni. No way, man, I'm going all the way, not Factionless nor dead.

Screaming like a lunatic, I lunge at him, clawing at his cheeks. Suddenly, strong hands lift me, by the armpits, off of Ioni. Blindly, I struggle, until my vision clears to reveal a frantic Four.

"This is only the beginning of training!" He seems frustrated, a tad angry, and a bit shaken, looking at the blood-soaked area. Everyone is staring at us, some horrified, some grotesquely interested. Ioni is standing up now, also, a few feet away, on the other side of the mat. "Quit killin' each other, guys!" He beckons Tris over. "Tris," He puts a hand on her shoulder. "Can you please get these two to the first-aid kit and fix 'em up? Someone, or both, are bleeding, and I'm curious to find out where and who."

Tris opens her mouth to protest, but Four gives her a pleading look, and she obliges, one hand on my neck, roughly pushing Ioni and me forward toward a wall across the room, next to a small red and black duffel bag, the first-aid kit. I pass one gaping transfer in the line after another and, as I pass by Avigayil, I think, an amused, mostly contained grin on my face, _I had you in mind for that one, Avigayil. You're welcome._

**Gross, I know, I just have always wanted to write something like that. Well, I hope you liked this! Thanks!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: lol, 64 never gives author notes, and I give huge ones, we are so different. By the way, pigfartsisonmars asked what language the names were from. They are all very Jewish, Hebrew names. If you are Jewish, or are familiar somehow with Judaism, then the names would be familiar. **

**Avigayil:**

There is a permanent smirk on my face as Tuvia and Ioni fight. My smile deepens when I see the blood that pours down Ioni's face. That son of a bitch deserves it. Tuvia comes out mostly fine, but Ioni has a broken nose. Tris starts to clean, and treat the boy's wounds, while Four calls up the next pair. Shahar and Marge. Both girls are unwilling to fight, but I'm sure punching your friend is preferable over being factionless. A lot of the initiates doubt Shahar, because of her loss yesterday, but this fight is pretty evenly matched. Both girls are about average height, and have the same slender build.

Marge throws the first punch, which hits Shahar in the chest. I cringe, imagining the pain myself. Marge kicks Shahar's legs out, so that Shahar falls, but when everyone expects her to stay down, she hops back up, with a wild look in her eye. She kicks marge hard in the stomach, and Marge falls to the ground winded, but manages to get back up, before Shahar throws the final punch. This goes on for a good 10 minutes, and when both girls are clearly exhausted, Shahar finally throws a punch into Marge's jaw, and Marge falls to the ground out cold. Shahar drops to the ground, to see if Marge is still okay, which she is, just a little dizzy. Tuvia is ordered to take her to the Hospital, and Shahar's name is circled on the board.

"Next up, Sivan, and Ohad." Calls Four

Ohad looks indifferent, and Sivan looks shaky. Although Ohad and Sivan are both tall, Ohad is a good 6 inches taller, and Sivan is so pale she must be terrified. I remember how she refused to touch Tris when she jumped from the roof. She needs to get over her fear, and get over it fast, because otherwise, she's factionless.

Ohad punches first, and Sivan cowers. She tries to kick him but he easily dodges. This goes on for about 30 seconds, before Sivan shrieks, and drops to the floor clutching her knees. Everyone looks befuddled, wondering what she is doing but I say quietly,

"It's a panic attack. I get them sometimes." I empathize with her, but Dauntless is about fearlessness, not fearfulness.

"I'll help her" says Tris exasperatedly. Forgetting the reason Sivan is having the panic attack in the first place, Tris grabs her arm. Sivan shrieks, and gets up, saying,

"I'm fine, I'm fine now, don't touch me."

Without asking for permission, she walks to the first aid kit, rummages around until she finds pain medication, and she pops a pill.

Four just sighs, circles Ohad's name and says,

"Yaakov and Shmuel."

They head to the mat. Both of them are tall, and fairly strong. I have a feeling that Shmuel won't play fair. He never does. Yaakov looks a bit subdued, and Kicks him in the side. This seems to jolt Yaakov into reality, and the boys start punching and kicking. They both get so hurt; I am amazed no one has passed out yet. Shmuel has taken at least five punches to the head, and Yaakov already has a black eye. I don't want to watch my brother in so much pain, but I don't want to turn away. Shmuel kicks Yaakov's legs out, but right before Yaakov falls, he does something pretty clever. He puts his leg up, so as he falls, his legs hits Shmuel right between the legs, and I laugh a little under my breath. They both fall, Shmuel on top of Yaakov. It looks like Yaakov is about to push Shmuel off, but them they catch each other's eyes. They just stay like that for some time, before I scream,

"Fight!"

That jolts them back, and Shmuel punches Yaakov in the face. Yaakov passes out, and Shmuel rolls off him, clearly in a lot of pain. I rush to my brother, wanting to see if he is okay. He is still clearly breathing, but his eyes don't open. Four sighs, picks him up, and slings Yaakov over his shoulder, like a child.

"I'm gonna take him to the hospital, Tris, can you watch the next fight?"

"Sure." She says almost cheerily. Four kisses her on the cheek. I hold in my laugh. They seem like the most unlikely couple. My smile quickly disappears though, when my name and Lele's are called. I look at her. We are both the same height, but she has a very light, skinny frame, whereas I am more average for my height. I could beat her if I really tried. My legs are the strongest, so I should kick more than I should punch.

We walk to the mat. Without giving her a chance to ready herself, I kick her hard in the lower stomach, she winces, holding her stomach, giving me a chance to punch her face. She feebly tries to punch me in the stomach, but it doesn't have much effect on me. I kick her side. She slaps my ear, which makes me dizzy, and she kicks me in the stomach. Luckily she is pretty weak, and while the kick hurt, it didn't really do anything, just gave me time for the ground to stop spinning. When it does, I punch her hard right over her temple. She topples to the ground like a ragdoll, her eyes rolled back.

"Yaakov, take her to the hospital, the rest of you are free for the rest of the day. Tomorrow we will arrange the fights according to how you did today, although Eric may decide he wants to visit. Sadly, he has authority over Four and I, so if he decides to dangle some initiates over the chasm, we have no power to stop him. Try not to piss him off." Tris says with a smirk. We all exit the training room, while Tris stays behind to clean up.

"Do you want to go visit Yaakov and Marge in the hospital?" I ask Shahar.

"Yeah, I want to apologies for knocking marge out, I feel bad."

"It wasn't your choice, she would understand."

"Maybe…" she says quietly.

When we reach the hospital, I see that Yaakov and Marge are awake, and conversing, while Lele is still passed out. I feel a little bad for hurting her, but it's not like she we were friends.

"So who won the fights after I left?" asks Marge.

"Well, Sivan had a panic attack, and had to stop, obviously Yaakov lost, and I beat Lele, which is why she is still out cold over there." I say while smiling.

"Hey Yaakov why, did you and Shmuel just stop fighting? That's so stupid, you could have easily won if you didn't space off." Asks Shahar. She may have transferred to Dauntless but her Candor shows through.

"I have no idea what you are talking about…" says Yaakov, although somehow I don't believe him.

"whatever, I wanna get another tattoo, anyone wanna come?" asks Shahar.

"No way are these two leaving, they both have minor concussions and need to stay a bit longer for observation. They should be okay by dinner time." Says a nurse.

"Fine, I'll come with." I say, and we both walk out the door. Still, something bothers me about how Yaakov answered Shahar's question. I push it away, but it remains there, still in a corner of my subconscious.

**A/N: is it cheating that two of us write this? Ah well, we will make this a really long one to compensate. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Tuvia:**

_I am sitting in a large pillar of fire when my eyes open. Panicking, I attempt to get my butt out of that fiery death, but I can't move my legs. Terrified, I give a mainly vain attempt to calm myself down and I wait for the fire to crumble me to a pile of ash and memory - but I feel nothing. I suddenly realize a hand reaching outward toward me, to help me upward and out of this strange fire that cannot consume me._

_ Once I have this hand in my grip, I see the other end of this arm - a crooked jaw, goofy smile, and brown hair, which was once long, cut short. _Nechemia._ My Candor brother._

_ "Hey, little bro," He whispers, smiling._

_ "Hey, big bro," I reply. "I miss you," I blurt out, then clasp an embarrassed hand over my mouth._

_ He smirks. "Hey, it's okay. I'm Candor, honesty is our thing. I miss you, too."_

_ I grin, and he yanks me up, out of the fire, and I am able to walk once I leave the flames. I realize he's standing on something, and I look past him to see he stands on a giant brass scale. He releases my hand and steps off of the scale. Puzzled, I watch as he carries several large rocks that had bordered the pillar of fire, and he places them into the other side of the scale. Suddenly, I look down to realize that I have risen about four feet, with the weight of the rocks challenging my weight, making me go up, as the rocks descend in the scale. Thrown off balance, I sit down on the edge._

_ Nechemia jumps onto the scale, so he is sitting next to me. We go down about two feet, so our feet dangle just barely above the ground. He hums quietly, searching for something to say. "How's Amity?" He asks._

_ I hold my breath, trying to stay calm about my own brother not knowing such a crucial fact. "Actually," I say, sounding a bit too bitter. "I switched. To Dauntless."_

_ "Dauntless, eh?" He ruffles my hair the way he used to, shaking my black curls and messing them up so I look like a trainwreck. "Tough place, I heard."_

_ I nod. "Pretty hard so far. How's Candor?" _See, I remember you, _I think angrily._

_ "Hey, it's pretty great. Honesty is just..." He heaves a contented sigh. "Liberating."_

_ "Well, I miss you." I repeat sadly. "Why'd you leave?" I ask, sounding juvenile. _

_ "I..." He hesitates, probably the last bit of non-Candor yet to be stomped out of my brother. "I didn't feel right. I couldn't tell people how I really thought of them, if it was bad. I wanted to be my own man, so...I left. I left to the place where I don't have to hide. I couldn't stand being somewhere in which I'm stuck faking who I am, just trying to hold back."_

_ My throat feels dry. "No," I shake my head firmly, though I say the word weakly. I feel anger well up in my throat. Killer, furious anger. "You didn't leave a prison of a faction. You left me, your brother. I don't matter at all to you?!" I realize now just how loudly I'm screaming._

_ "Tuvia...Tuvia..." He says gently, trying to calm me down. This, however, makes me want to kill him more. I begin thrashing, punching and kicking, and I hit flesh. I hear a blood-curdling scream, but much higher than I'd think Nechemia can shriek._

My eyes fly open to see Sivan clutching her side and left arm, moaning as she stands beside my bed. She grabs a plastic box of alcohol wipes frantically, and begins to wipe her bare arm, not covered by her black tank top.

"Sorry," I grunt, lifting myself up to get dressed.

"It's...It's okay," She says shakily. "I was going to shower anyway, tonight. Anyway, you need to get ready for training. Be there in ten minutes. I can wait for you to get dressed - oh, for fu...I mean, darn it, I didn't realize how that sounded!"

I swallow back a laugh. "Hey, it's fine. It's your room too, you know." I feel uncomfortable just agreeing, but I need to get to training, or I'm as good as dead. As I change, she just sort of sits on her bed, awkwardly looking around the room, trying to avoid laying eyes on me, revealing a bit of Abnegation in the transfer girl.

Before we leave the room, among the last trickle of Initiates, Sivan grabs a pair of latex gloves and slips them over her tiny hands. I give her a questioning look, to which she replies with a sly raised eyebrow.

We stand in line before Four and Tris, and now that grumpy guy, Eric. Eric walks across the length of the line, evaluating how strong we look in appearance. When he reaches Sivan, an evil leer grows across his face. "You, what's wrong with your hands?"

"It's...It's contact, sir," She whispers. "I can't."

"It's contact, _sir,_" He mocks. "You don't want to stay here, do you?"

Four takes a step forward, closer to the two, ready to defend the girl. Sivan shivers beside me. "Eric!" Four says sharply. "Let her wear the gloves. For now."

Eric turns to face him. "It's a fear, isn't it? Fear, you know, is not accepted in Dauntless. The gloves go-" He sneers at Sivan. "-Or you do.'

Four gets an amused look on his face, intriguing me. What does this guy have up his sleeve? "Fearless as an Initiate, huh? Well, Mr. Eric-Seventeen-Fears, I don't think that's the case. Let her keep the gloves, or I might reveal those seventeen."

Eric's eyes widen. "You...wouldn't."

Four raises an eyebrow. "Wouldn't I? Fear Number One: Starvation, Number Two: Ch-"

"Stop!" Eric yells. "Little coward, keep your gloves."

Tris finally speaks. "Okay, the fights, now. Sivan and Lele; Tuvia and Ohad; Marge and Yaakov; Shahar and Ioni; Avigayil and Shmuel, and they go in the order I just said. Sivan and Lele first."

Sivan steps cautiously forward. Four mistakes this for purely her germ problem kicking in, so he gives her a small, encouraging smile. He has no way of knowing that Lele, Sivan, and I are best friends, and two of them are being pitted against each other to beat their friends up. Gentle Lele and Formerly Abnegation Sivan are a bad enough pairing, but it's horrible if they're best friends.

The two stand together on the mat. They stare at each other for a moment, but then they remember that Eric won't stand for his little show to be delayed. Sivan throws the first punch, right to the chest. Lele throws herself into Sivan's stomach, running forward and leading with her shoulder. Sivan falls back, and the two are wrestling, rolling on the mat as they try to get this over with as quickly as they can. I suppose the gloves are helping Sivan a lot, because she seems dominant. Finally, they manage to wrestle _upward,_ onto their knees. Sivan smacks Lele in the head with all the might she has in those rubber-covered hands, and Lele crumples to the floor, knocked out. Sivan lets out a strangled gasp, looking at the unconscious girl, but Eric doesn't seem to care as Four lifts the losing opponent in his arms, and directs Sivan back in line.

"Tuvia and Ohad," He says, unsure of who we are in the line. We both approach the mat.

"Hey, man," I whisper. I don't know why this seems so necessary - maybe because of what everyone witnessed me do to Ioni. "Whatever happens, I just want you to know that...you seem pretty cool." Ohad grins, but Eric doesn't approve of this quick pre-fight conversation.

"Hey, wimps! Shut your faces - be Dauntless-worthy, and talk with your fists!" Eric shouts and makes his way over and, panicking, I bring my knee up and plunge it into his stomach, making him double over.

He grabs my face, his slightly overgrown fingernails digging into my cheeks, as we go down. Pained, I blindly slam my head into his shoulder, breaking his grip - but hitting my head as well. We both seem to be in a bit of mild pain as we sink lower to the ground, throwing punches not as murderous as that of Ioni's and mine, considering the lack of bad blood between us.

I roll onto him and pin him down, as I did to Ioni, and I raise a hand to slap his face, but he takes advantage of the one hand he has unchained, shoving my chest and making me back up a bit, just enough for him to get up, but I stop him when he's on his knees and about to turn the tables on me. We are both holding each other's elbows, kneeling on the mat.

We both stand up, letting go of each other simultaneously, and resume our fight while on our feet. He kicks my thigh, giving me a dead-leg, but I try to ignore it - hopping around groaning in front of everyone is definitely going to look dumb, and you know I hate that - and I give a punch to his rib. His hand instinctively moves to the spot where he was hit, and I use the moment of time in which one of Ohad's hands is occupied to end it all with one swift push to the floor. Ohad falls and hits his head on the floor, out cold. Eric approaches, gives me a single, small appraising nod, and roughly forces me back in line, making me stumble a bit.

I'm not sure why, but this bothers me horribly. I need to fight back. This jerk treats us like trash. My eyes burn with all the fury that I had ever wanted to release on my brother all those times when I missed him, but this really sucks for Eric - because while Nechemia wasn't around to get the pain, Eric is right here with a thick head and lots of room to hit.

"Quit it, Eric," I growl.

He gapes at me. "Excuse me?"

I step forward, yelling now. "Quit treating us like this. Or I'll be your eighteenth fear." I lunge for him with a howl, and my fist connects with his stomach. He grabs me and hoists me over his head, ready to slam me on the ground like a drinking glass, but I grab his neck tightly. He chokes, his windpipe blocked, but tries to pry me off.

Probably to spare his life from a death by strangling, he bends down to the floor, and I release his throat. I stand up, triumphant, when he gives me a final kick to the stomach, hard enough that I feel as though every organ is tearing another organ apart as I fall to the ground. I realize that the other Initiates are staring at me, and I turn crimson, feeling like a total wimp.

"Next time," He smirks as I writhe in pain and humiliation. "If you're gonna fight to win, fight Four or Tris. Not me."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: not much to say today. For starkid/starship fans, I might write a February's story, based on Karri Justina's learning to dance fanfic. Fanfiception. Pm or review if it sounds like a good idea. **

**Avigayil: **

My eyes flick open. It is early, although that has become normal for me. I'm now considered the dorm alarm clock, and now I get thanked instead of punched for waking people up. Except Ioni and Shmuel who jump at the chance to punch me anyways. Luckily, I learned to get past it by carrying a pillow when I wake them. The bastards may be strong but they are incredibly idiotic and thickheaded.

The morning is uneventful as usual. I get dressed, I fix my hair, and I head out for breakfast, but as soon as I walk into the cafeteria, a nostalgic feeling overtakes me. They are serving pancakes. My mother used to make the best pancakes. I look for my brother. His there is an expression on his face that is probably similar to mine.

"I don't think I will ever be able to eat pancakes again." I say quietly to him.

"We chose to leave our family, get over it okay." He replies

"I get that, but they raised us for 16 years, are we supposed to just forget about them in a week?"

"Well, no, but it would be better if you just tried forgetting them. Faction before blood right?"

"When the hell did you become so heartless?"

"When did you become such a bitch with a short temper?"

"Since forever Yaakov. Ever since I was old enough to cry, I lost my temper easily. Where have you been for the past 15 years?"

"You know what? I'm not gonna waste my time arguing with you." He says calmly and coolly before walking off and sitting at the table with Shmuel and Ioni. As soon as he leaves, something in me deflates. Why was he so mean to me? And why did he go over to that table, of all people.

My arm stings and I am reminded of the tattoo I got last night. Three squiggly lines. I don't know why I wanted a tattoo of it, but the tattoo lady said it was an ancient symbol of power. Shahar went the more comical route and got a tattoo of a purple dinosaur. She was always a bit peculiar. As soon as I sit down at the table though, she knows I'm unhappy. Both because she has known me so long, and because she could hear me screaming. I'm sure half of dauntless heard my screaming though.

"I'm sure he just took an extra bitchy pill this morning. Besides, if I get him as a fight partner, I swear, I will whoop his ass for you." She says. Somehow this brings a smile to my face, despite the overwhelming nostalgia and the anger from the fight with my brother. It also makes Marge and Ohad crack up laughing. I sigh, and eat the pancakes anyways. No point going into a day of training with no breakfast.

*page break*

As horrible as it sounds, I have to hold back laughter as Tuvia writhes on the floor, and Eric calmly walks back to his initial spot. Tuvia is an idiot for standing up to Eric. It's exactly what Tris warned us about. Although, I do admire the fact he stood up to Eric in the first place. Eric just looks like the kind of person who likes to watch puppies get mauled by pit bulls. Something tells me it was him who arranged my fight with Shmuel. Not that I don't think I stand a chance, it's not like I'm a useless fighter, Shmuel is just literally the biggest initiate, and I'm the smallest.

Shahar and Ioni step into the ring, although I don't pay much attention. Yaakov has avoided looking at me for the entire training, his eyes trained on the floor. Tris and Four sit by the chalkboard speaking quietly and nervously. Eric taps his foot impatiently on the floor. The loud noise makes me want to punch him. But I learned from Tuvia. I shift my position on the bench. Ohad and Lele sit uncomfortably by the first aid kit, both holding a cold compress to their heads. Shahar and Ioni are still on the mat, wrestling, although it's pretty clear that Ioni will come out victor this time. Shahar has blood spurting from her nose, is already spinning a little. Ioni slaps her in the ear, and she falls to the ground, fully conscious although too dizzy to keep fighting. Tris helps her up, and she comes to sit by me.

"Yaakov and Margalit." Calls Four. Despite her injuries, Shahar says quietly,

"Whoop his ass for us."

Marge smiles determinedly. The match is fairly even, although Yaakov is taller, and a bit stronger. I watch intently, relishing the joy that comes every time Marge throws a successful hit at Yaakov. Yaakov is good, but Marge trips him and he falls to the ground. She quickly jumps on top of him, sitting on his chest so he can't get up. She then punches him hard in the temple, and he falls unconscious. I am glad for a moment before I remember that my fight is up next. A cold feeling of dread runs through my veins.

_It's okay. You can fight him. He is an idiot, and he's slow, he won't be able to do much. _

"Avigayil and Shmuel."Says Eric with a cruel glint in his eyes.

I walk up to the ring. Shmuel is smirking. I punch him hard in the face. _Not smirking now huh?_ I kick him in the stomach, but he grabs my foot and I fall to the ground. He kicks me hard in the chest, and I hear a loud, painful crack. I can't let him kick me again, I have to get up, and I do, in spite of the excruciating pain from my most likely broken ribs. I can't kick him in the stomach, he will grab my foot, and I can't kick him in the shin, he will expect that. While I am thinking, he punches me hard in the chest; I hear another crack, and all the air in my lungs rushes out. I can't let Shmuel beat me this easily. If I break his nose, maybe it will weaken him. I furiously punch him in the nose, as many times as I can, and I even hear a crack. Sadly it doesn't faze him. He kicks my legs out, and I fall on my side. I hear another crack in my ribs. Shmuel sits on top of me, forcing the air out of me, and more ribs to crack. Why hasn't he hit me in the head, this fight would be over much quicker if he just punched me in the head. I can't let him sit on me any longer, it's getting harder and harder top breath, I punch, slap, and scratch him until my knuckles bleed, and all my nails are broken. Finally he gets off of me, and I can breathe, but he starts to kick me in the ribs and stomach. I feel more ribs break. I wonder how many that is now. _I have to get up; I can't just let him kick me. _Using my arms, I push myself up, and I kick him in the shin. I feel part of his leg splinter, but I think kicking him hurt me more than him. The pain in my chest is almost unbearable. It's hard to think, or strategize. I lose count of the blows, and how many ribs I splinter. I wouldn't be surprised if I was bleeding internally. I don't know why Shmuel hasn't knocked me out yet, maybe he is just too stupid to know that you can't knock someone unconscious by breaking their ribs.

I am only aware of the pain in my ribs, and the satisfying feeling of my punches hitting soft pudgy flesh. Suddenly, hands grab my waist, and I am pulled out of the ring. I turn to see Tris drag me to the first aid kit.

"Hey! Did I say this fight was over!? Put her back in the ring now."

"Back off Eric, the girl could be bleeding internally, look her stomach is swelling." Says Tris, and she pulls my shirt up just a little. My side is bruised already, and is pretty swollen.

"I have the authority. Here and everywhere else." Eric says

"Oh come on, you can come up with better lines. We are taking the girl to the hospital." Four says calmly.

"She is fully conscious and able to fight. She's not going anywhere."

"I'm not afraid to fight you. I could always add another one of your teeth to my collection." Says Four right before Eric punches him. I am vaguely aware of Tris calling out for Ohad to pick me up and take me to the hospital before she joins the fight. Ohad throws me over his shoulder, and I pass out.

*page break*

I am sitting under the flowering tree again. The birds are chirping, and the sun is shining. I close my eyes, and face the sun. Suddenly everything goes cold. The birds fly away, the flowers shrivel, and the leave fall to the ground and rot. Grey clouds cover the sun, and a frigid wind blows. My eyes water from the wind and the smell from the rotting leaves make me want to gag. I look down. The soft, once lush, grass has turned black, and covered with a vile blackish-brown mud. It gets colder, and rain starts to fall in huge droplets that feel like I am being punched. I fall onto my knees in the vile liquid, which seeps into my skin, turning my skin black. I suddenly start to fade away.

"Avigayil, are you awake" I hear a strange voice call. I open my eyes. "Doctor T, she's awake." The woman who called out it petite, with a bob of brown hair, and tattoos covering her arm. A redheaded woman, many months pregnant, presumably Doctor T, walks into my line of vision.

"It's good to see that you are awake, you were out for a few hours." Says the doctor

"What's injured?" I ask

"You had six broken ribs, a broken knuckle, and you had a few bruises on you internal organs, but other than that you're okay. You would probably like to hear that you cracked your opponent's leg. We had to put his shin in a brace."

I smile. At least I injured him.

"Your friends would like to see you, is that okay?"

"Of course, send them in." I reply weakly. Within a minute Marge, Shahar, Ohad, Tuvia, Yaakov, and Tris walk in. Tris talks to the doctor, and everyone else comes to the side of the bed.

"Oh, so now you decide to come see me." I say to Yaakov.

"I just wanted to see if my sister was okay, but if you want me to leave, fine" and he walks out the door.

"Just ignore him." Marge says.

"Tuvia, why are you here?" I ask

"Shmuel and I have a bad history; I wanted to congratulate you on breaking his leg."

"Thanks."

"Doctor T says both you and Shmuel need a few days before you can be back in the fights, because your fractures are very minor. Luckily tomorrow is the field trip to the fence, and there is no fighting. You can sit out the next day, but after that we need you both back in training." Says Tris. And she walks out of the room, saying a quick goodbye to the doctor, whose real name is apparently Rosie.

"Okay, everyone out, the nurses and I need to fix Avigayil's ribs up." Says Doctor T/Rosie. Everyone leaves, and the nurse unbuttons my hospital gown so I am only in my underwear. The nurses rub some type of ointment on my bruised swollen ribs. Whatever it is, it works because the bruises quickly fade, and the pain is numbed. Another nurse changes my IV, and tells me I can leave in a few hours, and that I should get some rest. I take her advice, except this time, no dreams come.

**A/N: thanks for reading. If anyone is wondering how a broken bone can be healed in two days, its because this is the future, and they have all kinds of cool medicines, and because Avigayil has magical fast healing bones (just kidding[duh])**


	14. thirteen and a half

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER IS WRITTEN BY ME (labelma). 64 has a weird dad, who took her computer away, so she won't be able to write her chapter until at least Friday, so me, being the awesome friend I am, offered to write filler chapter, from Tris's point of view. It has nothing to do with the plot, and is simply a bit of fluff. Possible very minor lemony parts.**

**Tris:**

I sigh and go to pick Tobias up from the hospital. An hour ago, the nurse said he had a broken hand that needed to be bandaged and I should come back to get him later. Luckily, he came out otherwise unscathed, though I can't say the same thing for Eric, who got a broken jaw, and lost some teeth. Obviously Tobias came out victor. I know it's wrong of me to enjoy someone else's pain, but I can't help it, I'm ecstatic. Sure Eric will probably make life hell for us, but he won't be able to eat properly for six to eight weeks. I walk into the clinic, and I find Tobias sitting on the edge of his bed smiling at an unconscious Eric hooked up an IV machine. I go up to Tobias and I give him a quick kiss

"Nice job."

"Thanks. Do you know if I'm allowed to go yet?"

"Do I look like a nurse? Why don't you sit here like the injured puppy you are, and I will speak to the actual nurse." I joke, as I walk away to find a nurse. I hear Tobias shout something in the behind me, but I don't catch it. As soon as I find a nurse, I begin to ask my question before I am interrupted,

"Yes, yes he can go. Just sign this, and leave." She says while passing me a form and a pen. I assume her hurry to get Tobias out of here has something to do with his behavior. I will have to ask him later. I quickly sign the form, and I walk back to Tobias. As soon as he sees me, I give him a thumbs up. He rushes towards me and throws me over his shoulder.

"Tobias, what are you doing?"

"Am I not allowed to carry my lovely girlfriend?"

"No, put me down."

"Fine." He says, and puts me down.

"Did the nurses give you any drugs for the pain?"

"I broke my hand didn't I?"

"That's probably what's making you crazy."

"Whatever, let's just go eat dinner." He says while he takes my hand with his good hand, and drags me out of the clinic.

"So what happened to the ginger?" he asks. I assume he is talking about Avigayil.

"A few broken ribs and a broken knuckle. She broke Shmuel's leg when she kicked it."

"Hmf, strong girl. Pity Shmuel is the vicious one of the pack, and Eric is a sadistic dick truffle."

"Is that even an insult?"

"Now it is."

"I think I like drug Tobias better."

"You want me to become a drug addict like Eric?"

"Hell no, I like you just the way you are."

"Haha love you too." He says sarcastically. I lean in to him and kiss him. He wraps his arms around me, but I pull away.

"Can we continue this later? I'm hungry, and we are in the middle of a hallway."

"Ugh fine. I'm starved too. 2 hours in a hospital make you hungry."

"Sure they do." I say. Finally we reach the entrance to the cafeteria, which is filled with people as usual. Without thinking, we head to our usual table, the same one I would sit at during initiation, except now Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Zeke, Shauna, and Lauren started sitting with us. As soon as we get to the table, Zeke starts clapping, and everyone else soon follows.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Tobias asks

"We heard you broke Eric's jaw. We wanted to congratulate you." Christina says.

"Whatever, I'm gonna eat." He grumbles before grabbing some pizza and biting it.

"Someone's pain medicine wore off." I say quietly, but not quietly enough because Tobias hears me, and before I know it, he loops his arm over my neck and puts me in a headlock.

"Let go of me Four."

"Say you love me."

"I guess the drugs are still in your system. Fine I love you." I say flatly. He releases me and I rub my neck.

"Hey Tris, is Four his real name?" asks Christina. Her nosy, Candor qualities have not changed.

"I'm gonna keep my mouth shut." I say which earns me an appreciation kiss from Tobias. He mutters something under his breath that sounds like _fucking idiot, _but I'm not sure. I yawn and put my head on the table.

"Tired Tris?" asks Lynn sarcastically.

"Initiates are exhausting."

"You're telling me? You guys were way worse by the way." Four says

"Hey!" says Uriah "I'm awesome, and you know it."

I space out as Zeke starts to say something.

"Tris, did you hear me?" Says Will

"Wuh?"

"I asked what exactly happened during fights today. We've only heard rumors."

"The last fight was between the smallest girl Avigayil, and Shmuel, who is the largest initiate, and the most vicious, quite a lot like Peter. Eric was with us when we were deciding the fighting pairs, and we didn't really have a leg to stand on when he put the two together because Avigayil won her last fight so easily, and she really Isn't weak, she broke Shmuel's leg."

"Why did you pull her out?" Asks Will

"Her abdomen was swelling; it could have been internal bleeding. Eric wanted her put back in the ring, and then Four punched him, and the rest you can figure out yourself"

"So did she have abdominal bleeding?"

"No, just a bunch of broken ribs, the nurse said she should be okay top fight in a few days. I guess we are lucky the erudite developed a fast acting medicine for broken bones."

My head is throbbing. I put my head back down on the table and I close my eyes.

"Do you want to go back to the apartment and sleep?" Tobias says in my ear

"Mmmmm" I grumble.

"I guess that's a yes. I'll take you back." He says quietly and then addresses the rest of the group, "We are going to go back and sleep, tomorrow is the trip to the fence, and initiates are idiots."

I get up and there are a chorus farewells, as we leave the cafeteria. Tobias wraps his arm around me as we walk. When we get to the room, I slam the door, and I lean against it, sighing. Today was pretty tiring. I slip my shoes off, and I lie face down on the carpet. Tobias comes and lies next to me.

"Has your pain medicine worn off?"

"Yes, my hand feels like shit."

"At least Eric probably feels worse."

"Yeah. Isn't it just precious that the Erudite medicine can't be used on a face?" he says as he sits up. I follow his example. The carpet doesn't smell great.

"It will be hilarious watching Eric eat from a straw."

"Still my hand hurts. I should probably take a painkiller."

"I know a better way."

"What?" he asks suspiciously. I lean forward and kiss him. He wraps his arm tightly around me. I crawl closer to him on my knees, and I run my hands through his hair, which he has let, grow out a little. He grabs my waist, and pulls me closer, so my body I pressed up against his. I can feel his heartbeat, which is racing. Mine probably is too, due to the nervous energy coursing through me. I feel his tongue asking for entrance, which I willingly give him. I am afraid of where this will lead, but I have to be Dauntless. I fall back so that he is on top of me, and I wrap my leg around his hip.

"Tris" he mumbles against my lips. It brings me back to reality. I push him away slightly.

"We should wait." I say.

"Until we get married." He says quietly, as if he is unsure of his words which he probably is. It fills me with a warm feeling. It's not unusual for couples to get married early in Dauntless, in fact it's the norm, but it just never occurred to me. I kiss him lightly.

"I love you." He says

"I love you too."

"Can we go to sleep now?"

"My pleasure." I say "I call the shower first." I holler while I spring up and run to the bathroom.

"Shit, you always do that." He says, though he is smiling.

Once we have both showered and changed into our pajamas, we get into bed. He still has the same blue quilt he had during initiation. It makes me feel safe like how I felt after he rescued me from Peter, Al, and Drew. Al… his death still affects me. I can't go near the Chasm without wondering whether it was my fault he killed himself. I shiver. As if Tobias can sense my thoughts, he grabs my waist and pulls me towards him so that he is spooning me. he wraps his warm, arms around me, and eventually the warmth of his body, and the sound of his heartbeat lull me to sleep.

**A/N: sorry if it sucked, I'm not good at writing fluff, it just makes me feel so awkward. 64 is better at it than me. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey, guys! Sorry about not being able to add a chapter for a while! I'm currently un-grounded and ready to go!**

**Tuvia:**

_Field trip to the fence. _Normally, in Amity, the phrase "field trip" would make my ears perk up, imagining trips to fun places. However, hearing this in a place where Eric's dumb, pierced face grins sadistically at everyone, I'm not feeling that excitement. Field trip, in Dauntless Initiation, is probably something messed up.

My eyes are shut, but I am conscious. I can hear few other initiates rustle around me in the dark, but I choose not to give myself up to the day. Why should I be a slave to time _and _to Eric?

"Tuvia," A voice whispers deliberately in my ear, giving me chills. "It's time to get up."

_Avigayil. _She's sort of our wake-up call, since she's such a light sleeper, and must have thought I was asleep. I moan and reluctantly roll onto my back. Avigayil has done her job for today.

When she has moved on to her next victim, I rise from my bed. Sivan and Leles' beds are empty and rumpled, but their shoes remain, leading me to believe that the two must be dressed and, I don't know, brushing their teeth or something.

I get dressed in my usual clothes and grab my toothbrush from the box underneath my bed. Walking to the bathroom, I pass Lele and Sivan, who are talking together quietly. "Hey, guys," I wave at them. Sivan's eyes widen, and she stops talking, and Lele begins to laugh hysterically.

_Do I have anything on my face?_ I think. When I've reached the mirror in the bathroom, I see that my face is looking about as decent as my mug can look, while extremely exhausted. But, then, why were they laughing? Were they talking about me?

Trying to stop pondering over the subject, I brush my teeth, slip on my shoes, and wait nervously by the door for my friends to approach. The girls walk up to me as though nothing even happened before.

"Hi, Tuvia!" Sivan says, slipping on gloves, pulling open the door, and sprinting through the threshold. Lele smiles wearily, not as bubbly as she usually is. _Maybe she's just really tired, _I shrug as we make our way down to the Pit. _Dauntless really has been beating her up._

We are among the first to reach the train, right behind Avigayil and her friends. I can't help but wonder why Yaakov hasn't been hanging around her as loyally lately as he did before. He's been drifting a bit toward Shmuel and Ioni, which puzzles me more than any other clique would, since they're so mean to Avigayil.

The only two groups ready to board the train, we wait awkwardly in silence for a few moments. Suddenly, Shahar's voice pipes up, breaking the wall of quiet. "Morning, y'all!"

The Amity in me can't leave her hanging. "Hey, Shahar!" I reply brightly.

"Hey, Shahar!" Someone, using a high, teasing voice repeats behind me. I turn to see Shmuel, flanked by Yaakov and Ioni like his personal minions, with a stupidly sarcastic look on his face. He continues, "Hey, Shahar, I'm Tuvia and I think you're, like, totally hot!"

Shahar rolls her eyes and glances over at Avigayil with an "anyone got a knife?" kind of look in her eyes, and I'm just about to rip him apart as well.

Shmuel, the idiot, doesn't stop. "Hey, Avigayil, are you from Tennessee - 'cause I wanna make out with your face!" He babbles in his "taunting voice". I clench my fists at my sides, and Margalit seems to be restraining Avigayil. Ioni snickers, but Yaakov doesn't make a sound.

Finally, he sneers at Sivan. "I hear you're OCD," Shmuel continues his high-pitched mockery. "I'll bet I can-" He wiggles his eyebrows. "-Change that."

I can't take it anymore. That's the last straw. I leap at him with a savage yell, not caring who pokes their head, alarmed, out of shop windows. My hands close around his throat for a few seconds. I relish the feeling of his struggling windpipe beneath my fingers with sick enjoyment, then I release him. "Learn who not to mess with, because that could've lasted just a few more minutes and you. Would. Be. Gone." I growl as he stands up. He tries to retreat with dignity, but anyone can see that he shoves Ioni in front of him.

Now, the train approaches, our signal to board - Dauntless style. I run alongside the tracks, then I leap into the car. I bang my ankle pretty hard against the outside of the train, and my ribcage hits the floor of the train car, but I'm able to stand up, out of the way, as more Initiates clumsily pile in, followed by Eric, then Tris, assisted by Four and, finally, Four hops on.

We all sit in silence, not wanting Four, Tris, or Eric to get mad at us. Still heated from the scuffle with Shmuel, I move closer to the car's opening for a bit of wind in my face to cool down, and look out at the panoramic view of what looks like a post-disaster scene of battered, crumbling buildings. Guards stand in a widely spread line along the fence. Tris leans against the opening, gazing out at the land, her blond hair whipping around her face.

Finally, the buildings give way to fields, and the train groans to a stop on the tracks. Four jumps off and beckons us forward with his finger. We hop off of the train and follow Four like obedient little ducklings closer to the fence. Beyond the fence lies a group of trees - some dead, some thriving - and guards, lots of them. Sivan takes my hand in her own gloved one as we advance toward the gate. We all slip through the wide entrance to the city's road.

"Gate patrol," Four tells us. "Is, well, a bit of a bum job. If you're not in the top five when you finish initiation, then I hope you like those uniforms."

Lele gasps. The uniforms consist of all the colors of the factions, patchwork in some places, patterns, swirls, and more. The mess of color is hideous, and we all agree. Eric smirks, "Better get used to it - unless you don't even get to be in final initiation."

I can't exactly pay attention to Eric, Four, and Tris for most of the time we spend beyond the gate, because I can't stop thinking about the hand within the glove clutching my hand. Somehow, Sivan's hand emits a gentle heat through the latex that I can't get out of my head. _She really is beautiful, _I think as we exit through the gate from which we came.

"Look alive, initiates!" Tris calls, stepping forward slightly as the train approaches. I know it's time to pull away from Sivan and jump onto that moving load of machinery on the tracks, but I have to, for some reason, force myself away.

Back in the Dauntless Compound, showered and laying down beneath my covers after a long day, I glance around the room. Most of the initiates are sound asleep, one unidentifiable person somewhere in the room is even snoring like thunder, but I can't stop thinking about, well, everything. I keep thinking about Sivan, training, Dauntless, my family, Shmuel-the-Jerk, and...life. I think I bore myself to sleep - or maybe worry myself to sleep - because I know I somehow end up asleep, then awake in the morning.

**Sorry if this is horrible - I am seriously exhausted right now, and I can't think much. Well, sorry for the gap, and...thanks!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I have quite a bit to say, so this will be a long note. First of all, kat1054, and favorite5 who are two very talented popular authors on this fandom have decided to do their own joined fanfiction, and I just know, because they have so many more fans than we do, new readers will think that we are just following a trend, when in fact it was our own idea to do a joined fanfiction, and was not influenced by any other fanfiction author. The second thing is an accusation to all those people who read and don't review. May I ask why? No, seriously, why do we only have 13 reviews? I see stories with only 10 chapters, that aren't really all that great, which have 50 reviews. I don't think the story is that bad, and it's pretty easy to critique a story that is only 50% written by you. 64 and I are lucky if we get 1 review for every chapter we update, and even that doesn't really happen. My sister recently wrote a story (she is 11, so her story was amateur, and meh.) and within 30 minutes of her uploading it, she had two reviews, and three followers. It took us three chapters to get even one review. It actually put me in a state of depression. Either start reviewing, or tell me why we get so little reviews. Oh, and for my two Israeli fans, **_**Shabat shalom, ha'chaverim sheli (**_**I can't type in Hebrew on my computer). **

**Avigayil:**

I sigh and lay my head down on the table in the cafeteria. The fights went on as usual today, and because of the new miracle medicine for broken bones, my fractures are nothing but a little ache. Eric was gone, so the matches were all even, and I fought and won against Marge. Oddly enough, we both had fun. Not in a morbid way, but in the same way that friends get into trivial play fights, except this wasn't so trivial nor was it play. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe we are all just crazy. The only thing that spoiled the mood was Yaakov. Ever since our fight two days ago, he has stopped hanging out with us entirely, and chose to be one of Shmuel's minions instead. It especially hurts because of how much Shmuel and Ioni ridicule me. He doesn't defend me; he just stands there avoiding my gaze. At least I have friends like Marge and Shahar to replace him, and Ohad to offer his wise advice.

We came to dinner unusually late today, so the cafeteria is quieter than usual.

"Guys, we should go sleep, I assume we will have to fight again tomorrow." Says Shahar. We all nod, or offer our agreement somehow. I lift my head off the table, wincing at the stab of pain that comes from a mixture of exhaustion, stiffness, and previous injuries. We all head over to the dorm rooms to change and get to sleep. As soon as a walk in, though, I wish I had been deep in conversation, or something to distract me from the piercing gaze of Yaakov, Shmuel, and Ioni, who all stare at me as if I murdered someone. Luckily, over the years I have perfected my hate stare. I stare back at them as fiercely as they stared at me, which makes Ioni, and Shmuel turn away, but Yaakov just narrows his eyes. I look away, and head into the corner where our beds are. Shahar, Marge and I all change there. I pull my pants off, and put on my darkly colored cozy pants. I pull my shirt over my head, and right as I do, the door bursts open. Four, Tris, Eric, and multiple other Dauntless come in with flash light. Shahar and I who were both in the middle of changing, shriek and duck down so we are hidden behind the beds. Four speaks,

"You have five minute to change and meet us by the train tracks." He says this in a serious tone, but he is grinning. Should that scare me? Eric just glares at us, although I can take him seriously right now because of the ridiculous brace strapped to his face.

As soon as they leave, Shahar and I stand back up. I pull on a long sleeved black shirt, and skinny jeans. We all rush out to the tracks, running, so we aren't late.

By the train tracks, Tris and Four are holding hands and laughing, while Eric glares it them. It makes me snicker. I actually really hate snickers, like the candy bar. I mean I like nuts, chocolate, and caramel, but I don't like snickers. I just don't.

As soon as the train comes we all jump on in a disorganized flurry. Tris starts talking,

"We are going to play capture the flag with paintball. When we get to the destination, we will pass out the supplies. The rules are simple. There are two teams, Blah, blah, blah, you try to get the other's flag, if you are hit with a paintball, you're out. Eric was being an idiot, and just had to be a team captain, so it's Four and I, against Eric and Lauren. They can choose first. Let's divide up the transfers first."

"Shut up bitch." Eric mumbles, under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Tris glares at him. "We want Ioni." His words are a bit distorted, because he can't unclench his teeth. Tris and Four consider this before Tris says,

"Avigayil." I get up and walk over to their side of the train. Lauren speaks,

"Shmuel."

"Margalit."

"Tuvia."

"Sivan."

"Yaakov."

"Ohad."

"Shahar." I get a little sad when Eric says this. I wanted her to be on the same team as me.

"Lele is left, so we get her." Four says, "Onto the dauntless born."

The names fly past me, but a couple faces stand out. A boy with shaggy brown hair who smiles warmly at us, a pretty girl with long black hair, who seems to be the boy's friend, and a tall, strong-looking kid with a buzz cut. He looks like he is in the army or something, with his serious expression.

We all sit in a corner talking for another 10 minutes before we are told to jump off the train and collect a gun and a box of paintballs. Four addresses the group,

"This is an exercise to improve your strategy making skills, and teamwork. Remember fighting is nothing without strategy, so I suggest you take this semi seriously. Tris, the other members and I will not help make the plan, only carry it out. We have 10 minutes before the other team goes and hides."

"We should hide the flag in the trees." Says the girl with long hair.

"But they will expect that." I say.

"Got any better ideas?" says a girl I don't recognize with a purple bob.

"Just let her speak Shoshie." Says the boy with the shaggy hair.

"If we go into the marsh and hide it in the reeds or mud, they will have no idea, because they won't expect us to go into the mud. Those who don't want to get dirty can go out on offense." I say. The rest of the team nods, and agrees. "Who wants to go out and search?" I ask. A couple people raise their hands. The boy with the shaggy hair speaks, while pointing to Marge, the girl with long hair, and I,

"You, Rochel, and that girl should hide in the reeds around the flag, because you are the smallest."

"I'm Avigayil by the way, and that's Marge." I say.

"Well I'm Dovid." Says the boy while smiling

"Everyone else should spread out, and try to take out any one we see. You three girls should get going." Says the army boy.

We walk towards the edge of the marsh, and I motion to an area about 100 feet into the mud, where there is a large clump if reeds that we can hide in. We start towards it.

**A/N: Seriously review, even if you didn't like it, or you thought it was mediocre, just give me some feedback. And yes, it's Dovid, not David. You should be used to the strange names by now. REVIEW!**


	17. Chapter 17

**M'kaykay, so, the chapter numbers are messed up a bit from Labelma's extra chapter while I was grounded. From now on, unless something like this happens again, I guess the odd chapters are mine (64thestarkidwholived, that is). Oh, and, sorry about the whole ranting in Labelma's last chapter. She really was in a major funk about it, though. For the first guest, rethink the way you write, because it was really, well, putting me in a funk. For the second guest, who was criticizing Labelma's author's note, Labelma wasn't referring to younger people. She was referring to her sister, who she knows better than you do. **

**Tuvia:**

"Let's get this on!" Shmuel shouts when our two teams have split, pumping his fist in the air. I scowl at him, strongly considering diving straight at him, pinning him against the tree, and ending that eternal stream of garbage he speaks. However, the realization that a dead body won't help our team much - unless we hide the flag in him, which is disgusting - stops me.

"Okay," Shahar clasps her hands together, walking to the center of our misshapen circle in the trees. "Suggestions for a hiding place...you." She points at random to a familiar-looking boy with a fading low-quality spray tan, who twitches rapidly when her finger lands on him. I take a moment to remember that he is the boy who had chosen his Faction right before I had. He hadn't been raising his hand, and neither had anyone else. _Shahar, _I think,_ is a ruthless Capture the Flag dictator._

"I...uh..." The blond boy stammers. "I don't..."

Without thinking, just wanting to save this kid - Eliyahu? - I blurt, "What about the trees?"

Everyone turns to face me, and I want to cringe. I probably just made the biggest fool of myself, even though I'm not sure what's so bad about hiding our flag in the tree.

"What?" Yaakov asks. "Hide the flag in the trees?"

"Isn't that a bit...predictable?" A girl with thick brown hair and enormous buck teeth.

I have to think fast, or look dumb. "That's...uh, that's the point. They won't check in the trees, if they...have the same logic," I hope this makes sense, because I just made that up on the spot.

"I get it! Yeah, let's do that!" A very pale girl with freckles spattered across her face, with her long red hair tied up in a messy bun on her head that sticks up in random places, giving off the effect of fire, agrees to my relief.

Shahar shrugs. "Yeah, I know what you're saying. The element of surprise..." She muses.

A very masculine looking girl with a long blond ponytail and muscular arms and legs stands up. "I can get it up there."

Shahar shrugs. "Fair enough. What's your name?"

"Naomi," The buck toothed girl answers for the blond girl, who scowls.

"I can answer for myself, _Hanna," _Naomi takes the glowing flag, awkwardly sandwiches her gun between her arm and ribcage and, flag between her teeth, climbs from branch to branch until she stands, a bit wobbly, about twenty feet off the ground. She looks down at us, unsure of what to do next.

"Stay there with the flag!" Shahar yells up at her. "Guard it!"

Up in the foliage, Naomi nods; comprehending the orders and sitting down on the branch on which she had been standing to steady herself a bit more.

A short boy with black hair with hair gelled into a style resembling a ski slope groans. "Hanna, you can take the flag out of your mouth now!"

She smiles sheepishly and removes the flag, transferring it to her right hand. "Sorry, Avi! Forgot about that!"

"So, this is the Capture the Flag team, eh?" Shahar mutters, rolling her eyes. "This is what they give me?"

*Pagebreakpagebreakpagebreakpleasepretendthisisali ne*

When the game begins, my team runs off in various random directions around Navy Pier, holding out paintball guns in front of us, fingers on the triggers. I'll admit I'm a little bit disoriented as I blindly sprint. I'm glad I'm wearing a helmet, definitely - a little bit because I don't even want to imagine scrubbing that paint out of my curls. However, when I hear a nearby _BANG _of a paintball blast, I know I need to put my looks aside, because nothing is more socially destroying than a stupid way to be beaten in Capture the Flag. I am crouching underneath the machinery that can power the big Ferris wheel, which sits stationary at the moment. Nobody can see me in the shadows, and that's fine by me, as I try to set up my strategy.

_I just need to climb up onto something high up, _I think. _And I can probably figure out where the other team hid their - wait, what was that? _I whip around, hearing the shuffling of feet, very nearby. I see nobody around, but my heart remains in my throat. I hold my breath, still looking about, when I see something move, ever so slightly. I concentrate for a few seconds, and I realize that I have spotted Lele, who is on the other team, her face just barely visible as she hides behind a nearby bush. I lift my gun slightly, and aim. She finally realizes where I am, and that her cover has been blown, and jumps a bit. She begins to stand up and sprint over to another hiding place, but I'm not going to have mercy - not even on Lele, because pride requires me to aim, pull the trigger, and...

_Bang. _I catch her with my gun once she's fully out of her hiding place, and the paint ball whizzes through the air, hitting her and leaving a bright green spot of paint on her chest.

"I've been shot!" She cries without thinking, stumbling backwards as the force knocks my petite friend to the ground. At first, I laugh at her overly dramatic performance. When she doesn't get up for a few seconds, my stomach drops. I rush over, not even caring that I'm right out in the open, not caring that I might get shot. All that matters is my friend lying out there.

I kneel next to her, and I can hear her breathing heavily. "Lele," I whisper gently, worried. "Are you okay?"

She turns her head weakly to face me. "I...Tuvia, you..." I dread what's coming - she's going to be angry at me for shooting her. Suddenly, a malicious grin appears, and I feel something hard hit my back. I'm pushed forward, off of my knees, and I fall across Lele's stomach. I feel her heave up and down with laughter. "You've been shot!"

I pick myself up to see Ohad and Margalit, giggling as they sprint past. "Hope we didn't hurt you, man!" Ohad calls, giving me an apologetic smile.

Lele smiles, peeling herself off of the ground to sit beside me. I gape at her. "You set me up! I was worried!"

She grins. "I figured I can't shoot as well as the others, so I'd be better off dead...as a trap."

"Well," I shrug. "Now, we just wait for someone to take the other team's-"

Four's voice rings out through the pier. "My team wins!"


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Oy Vey. I am sorry for both mine, and 64's rant. There are two guests I need to reply to. Dyingfourmore- honestly, I was not mad at you at all, 64 was. If anything, I admired your honesty. 64 thought what you said was a bit rude, but I didn't, it was just outright, oh and congrats on getting a new cat. For the unnamed guest who keeps calling me rude- Dude, I wasn't saying that all young people are amateurs; I was talking about my sister, who even agreed with what I said about her. When I talked about other people's stories, I didn't even name them, for all you know I could be talking about a different fandom. I was just giving example of how frustrated I was. Duh it's unprofessional that I'm begging for reviews. Does it look like I'm trying to be professional? I'm doing this for fun. I don't want to make a career out of it, or turn it into any official story, it is purely for fun. Do I care about being professional? No. Okay, sorry for the rant, on with the story. **

**Avigayil:**

As Soon as I hear Four's loud voice ring out, I bolt upright. That took less than 15 minutes, and not a single person from the other team came within shooting range. The other team must have done a lousy job. I see that Marge and The other girl Rivka have also stood up. The look of slight shock and confusion on their faces probably mimics mine. We begin the tedious trek back to solid dry land. My clothes are dirtied beyond repair. At least I didn't wear anything nice. I feel as if I have been attacked by bugs. I probably have. I need to remember to check myself for ticks later.

When we finally reach the bank, Marge falls to the ground,

"Dry land," she moans tiredly. Rivka and I chuckle lightly, which eventually lends itself to hysterical laughing, and soon we are rolling on the ground clutching our stomachs.

"What are you guys doing?" I hear a voice say. I turn my head to see Ohad, whose eyebrows are high.

"Temporary insanity." I grumble. He just shakes his head and helps us up.

"Hey, do you want a hug?" Marge, who is covered in mud, asks Ohad with her arms open. Ohad has a look of pretend fear on his face and he runs, with Marge in his heels. How she can run after trekking through 100 feet of thick mud, I don't know.

Eventually Rivka and I reach the train tracks.

"What happened?" I ask.

"The other team hid their flag in the exact same place they did last year. Their plan was negligent and they didn't put enough guards by the flag. That was the easiest game of capture the flag I have played. Three years in a row Eric, how does that feel?" Four says, to me, although I think it was aimed more at Eric, who scowls at Four as if there is no tomorrow.

I notice that the majority of Eric's team is giving Tuvia dirty looks. Maybe it was his plan to hide the flag in the tree.

I hear the signature howling of the train, and everyone gets ready to jump on. I didn't really notice it before, but getting on and off trains is becoming steadily easier.

Inside the train-car I watch a fight break out between Ioni, Tuvia, and a really strong, masculine looking girl.

"Nice job you idiot, if you had been even remotely intelligent, we could have maybe even stood a fighting chance, but nooooooo, you had to go, and come up with the most idiotic plan in the world. We should throw you off the train right now." Says the masculine girl.

"Naomi, calm down, you all went along with me. If you were really that smart, you would have come up with a better plan, or at least told me my idea was bad." Says Tuvia.

"You know, as long as I have known you, you have never come up with an intelligent plan, like ever." Ioni says. I see rage build up in Tuvia's eyes, before he pulls back his arm, and punches Ioni straight in the face. I guess I'm the idiot, but I don't think, I just run in between them and push them apart, only to get punched in the eye by Ioni. A small strangled shriek comes from my mouth as I fall to the ground. _Oww, _is my first thought. I could have been worse though. Dovid, the dauntless born, grabs me and pulls me away.

"Are you okay?" he asks

"Yes, just shocked. I'm probably going to have a black eye." I reply

"You had to go and interrupt the entertainment?" Ask Shahar jokingly.

I look up to see that Four has Ioni bent over with his arm twisted behind his back. Four is whispering something so him. Tris has done the same thing to Tuvia. It's almost comical to see a girl with such a short stature pinning a boy twice her size.

I try to ignore them, and I sit against the wall next to Dovid and Shahar. I look down at my arm, where I see something small and black. The color immediately drains from my face.

"Get. It. Off. Me. Right. Now." I say. Dovid looks at me.

"It's just a bug." He says, but Shahar, who has known me long enough to know about my fear of ticks, nods her head, she grabs the bug, and yanks. Thankfully the blood sucking, satanistic, demon comes out. She tosses it outside the train.

"Fear of ticks?" Dovid asks.

"It comes from a traumatic experience." I don't elaborate. I just lean my head on the back of the train. "This was a long day." I say.

"That I agree with." Dovid says. Shahar nods.

"I wonder what training is tomorrow." Shahar says.

"They probably won't go easy on us because of our lack of sleep." I grumble.

"At least you guys have Four and Tris, who are relatively nice people. Lauren and Christina like to watch us burn. Not like Eric, but I think they enjoy making us run a million laps." Dovid says.

"Tris and Four nice people?"

"For Dauntless, yes. Did you know Tris was from Abnegation?"

"Really, that seems like, impossible. Where was Four from?"

"No one knows, and if they do, they won't tell."

"I'm not going to ask if you know his real name, because I assume the answer is no."

"Yep."

"Why do you think Eric hates Four so much?"

"That's not a secret; Four was ranked number one, and Eric was two. Max is constantly trying to convince Four to take Eric's place as one of the leaders."

"Oh. Ugh, how long does the train ride take?"

"About another ten minutes. Why? You don't want to hang out with me?" he asks sarcastically. I laugh quietly.

"Dauntless is exhausting."

"You're telling me." he says, before we both fall silent until the end of the train ride.

That night I fall asleep easily, reassured that there are no more ticks on me. I don't have any dreams.

**A/N: hope you liked it. Yes I have a fear of ticks, along with an entire array of strange fears, including marshmallows. Anyways, please review. Happy Shavuot, enjoy your cheesecake, and ice cream. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey, guys! I need to warn you of something coming in the near future - summer! We've made it through the year! Anyway, I'm going to be away...for a month. Without electronics. That's not really a problem, except for the fact that I can't write fanfiction chapters or upload them. Labelma will probably do a bit of the type of thing she did when I was grounded, but I'll be away for a bit. Well...enjoy the chapter! Oh, and, about that marshmallow fear of Labelma's(more a chubby-bunny fear than marshmallows) ...phobia credit :-)**

**Tuvia:**

"Tuvia..." A voice whispers gently in my ear. "Get up."

I open one eye up to a squint to see Avigayil doing her daily wake-up calls. Groaning, I reluctantly open both eyes and sit up to face the world around me, the world that thinks I'm an idiot because of my stupid "in plain sight" idea for Capture the Flag.

Sivan is up and rushing about to get ready, as she always is at the same time every morning. Lele, however, is currently reduced to a lump in her blanket, rising and falling slightly as my sleeping friend breathes in a monotonous rhythm. I stand, a bit wobbly on my sleepy feet, and get dressed. Clad in black shorts and a black sleeveless shirt, I make my way toward the bathroom. Outside of the bathroom, passing a full-length mirror, I stop to look at myself. Not in the vain Tuvia way I always have, but in a reflecting way, reflecting on me - Tuvia.

I have lost all but a faint ghost of "Adorkable Tuvia", recognizable only by my slightly timid smile. My arms, once barely used for exercise, now are showing toned muscle, in the absence of sleeves on my shirt. My hair, which was always in tight, messy black curls, but styled with a touch of hair gel to look a bit polished, is accustomed to going unruly now, the hair gel being no match for the Hand-To-Hand Combat or the breeze flowing past me on train cars. Even my eyes have changed, a shadow of healing bruises complemented by dark circles from lack of sleep.

_Eyes are a gateway to the soul, _I think, gazing at myself. This is not Amity Tuvia. This is Dauntless Tuvia. But which, if either, is the real Tuvia Gutman?

"Hey, Tutu," Someone smirks nearby. "Get over yourself; step aside, and let the real beauty see himself."

"Shmuel, maybe you should get over _your_self," I mumble without turning to the side to face him. He walks up right beside me.

"How sweet," Shmuel puts a hand over his heart sarcastically. "You knew it was me just because I said 'beauty'."

I shove Shmuel, and he returns the action. This continues repeating, harder and harder, until Sivan approaches us from the sink, her toothbrush in her mouth. She mumbles something amongst the brush and toothpaste. Seeing my confused expression, she sighs. "I thaid, 'bweak id ub'."

"What did you say, Freak?" Shmuel takes a step toward her, but I jump in front of him. Nobody is going to lay a finger on Sivan, because they'll have to go through me - and her rubber gloves.

She holds up one finger, spits out the toothpaste, and repeats, "I was trying to tell you two to break it up. Nobody needs you both bloodied and unconscious before the day even begins."

Shmuel spits at my feet. "Fine, I wouldn't want to hit a _girl _like you, anyway." I clench my fists and take a step forward, my face pointing downward as though I plan to run my head through his stomach like a sword. Before I can reach him, though, Sivan puts her gloved hands on my shoulders, lightly holding me back. _Stay strong, _I think, _Stay strong for Sivan._

Shmuel turns to walk away, then suddenly faces Sivan. He makes a horrible, inhuman noise in the back of his throat, then spits about two inches away from her sneakers. "Next time, I might aim right..." He takes a step closer, and lightly taps her nose with his finger. "Here." He flashes a grin before finally leaving.

For a moment, Sivan stands rigid as a board. Then, she begins to shiver slightly, and I can hear her whimpering quietly as she looks down at the little puddle of spit at her feet. I rush over to her bed, grab a box of alcohol wipes, and hand the box to her. An urgent look on her face, she lifts the top of the box off, picks up one wipe, and proceeds to clean her nose vigorously.

"Thanks for getting the box, Tuvia," Sivan thanks me when she has walked - carefully around the saliva lake - back to her bed to place the wipes back in their place.

"No problem, Sivan," I direct my head toward Shmuel, who is standing by the doorway of the dormitory with Yaakov and Ioni. "Do you want me to beat him up?"

"Beat up who?" Lele asks behind me, making me jump. She must have woken and gotten dressed while I argued with Shmuel.

"Nobody," I pull open the door. "Well, let's go."

As our trio files through the doorway, Sivan turns to me. "If you were a food, what kind would you want to be?"

"Good old crazy Sivan," I shake my head, then feign seriousness. "Sushi. I would be sushi. Because then...everything would go quite swimmingly for me," I laugh.

Sivan jokingly tilts up her face. "Well, _I _would be cake. And you can't beat cake."

The light from the lightbulbs on the ceiling, catching her face at an upturned angle, makes me remember something I've hardly thought of since the day of the Choosing Ceremony - Sivan is absolutely beautiful. Her dark auburn hair, tumbling down her back, looks soft and full, shimmering in the pale artificial lighting. Her dark brown eyes look keen, yet they always look excited, a perfect combination for a perfect girl.

I can't believe I never saw it this way before. I really feel like she's the one I'm meant for. I just hope the feeling is mutual.

My heart is mesmerized, but my head tries to play it cool. "Got that right. Dauntless cake is the best."

"I know!" Sivan laughs. "Well, let's get going, or we'll be late. And I doubt Eric, Four, or Tris will take excuses."

*Pagebreakpagebreakpagebreakpleasepretendthisisali ne*

We all stand in a line before Eric, Tris, and Four. Targets line the walls of the room. Four and Tris look at us all intently, intrigued, evaluating us. Eric, however, simply glares at us, hands clasped behind his back. After a few silent moments, Eric begins to speak. "Today, you will be practicing-" In a swift, fluid motion, he releases his hands from one another, revealing a throwing knife, and flings the blade into a target about ten feet away from him. Casting a sadistic smile upon us, he continues. "-Knife throwing."

Tris smiles up at Four, taking his hand. He grins down at her, and kisses her cheek. Tris giggles, in a way that I could never match to a girl like her. I sneak a glance over at Sivan, who stands beside me on my right. I can't help wishing I could just take her hand like that, even if a glove were to separate our intertwined fingers.

We all rearrange ourselves slightly, so we line up better with the targets, and everyone picks up their first knives. I, being left-handed, pull back my right arm, knife in hand. At the very moment that I flick my wrist and release, however, someone grabs my wrist, making my aim and strength fail me.

The knife lands a foot to my right, in a tiny space between Sivan's feet. Sivan lets out a little shriek of surprise, jumping back.

"Sorry about that," I tell her. Agitated, I lean down and pick up my knife. I look up, to see who messed me up, and I see Shmuel smirking at me. I turn back to Sivan. "Some idiot was just messing with someone with whom it's dangerous to be enemies."

"I just wanted to help you with your throw," Shmuel sneers. "And I did. That's more than double what you could alone. Plus, as an added bonus, _we_ almost crippled your mentally ill freak friend."

My blood rushes in my ears, blocking out every last sane thought. _I wonder if he can hear my pulse now._ _Never mind, _my deranged mind cackles silently. _He'll see lots of his own blood soon enough._ I jab the knife into his stomach.

He doubles over, his hand on his wound. Crimson blood seeps through the cracks between his fingers. After a few seconds, he collapses, whimpering, onto his hands and knees on the ground. Only then does the power of what I have done hit me. _I might have just killed someone. A jerk of a someone, but...someone. What's happened to me?_

Four notices first of the three, and sprints over. He grabs my shoulders. "What the heck did you do?" He yells. The room goes quiet as everyone notices the scene. Well, just what I need, guilt and social suicide.

I stand silent, unsure of what to say. Somehow, 'I stabbed this jerk with a knife' sounds like a bad response, so I just stand there stammering.

Four leaves me alone, and beckons Tris over. The two bend over Shmuel, rolling the writhing figure onto his back. After a minute or so, Tris concludes, "He'll be fine. It's not fatally deep. He'll probably just need stitches and a day or two of rest. We should just get him to the infirmary."

Four gently hoists Shmuel over his shoulder like a sack and carries him away. Tris advances on me, a bit of concern in her voice. "Tuvia, if you do something like that again, we're going to take you to a doctor. I don't know what he did - but I know he probably did something, from what I've seen - and I understand having jerks as fellow Initiates all too well. But...try to stay in control."

I nod. "I'll try." And I mean it.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I'm happy today. I got tickets to Twisted, the new Starkid play, which is something I never even dreamed would happen, but it is, and I'm happy. I also got a new phone, because my other one was cracked, which is also super awesome. I am typing this in the car, while we drive up to Michigan, to see my uncle, yet another cause of my good mood. Anyways, this is a duo story. The first part is an unknown POV, and the second part is a regular Avigayil chapter. If you can guess the two people in the first part, you get a shout out, and I will read and review every single one of your stories (if you have any)**

**Unknown:**

I sit by his bedside, clutching his hand. I don't know why I do this, but just maybe if he knows I'm here, he will wake up. The doctors are pretty sure he will wake up, but there is always a chance he won't, or that there will be some type of complication. All I can do is pray that he will wake up fine, although recently I have been doubting the existence of God. I'm just not sure he is out there. If my father would have heard me say that, though, I don't even want to think about it.

My hands clench. Only after a few seconds do I realize that I am probably hurting my friend, by squeezing his hand, but I don't stop. I just can't unclench my hands. I hear him stir in the bed, and his hand twitches. Finally, his eyes open, and he stares at me.

"Why are you squeezing my hand like that?" he asks. His voice is gravelly.

"Oh my God, you're awake." I say, while a smile lights up my face

"Ugh, why does it feel like there are cotton balls in my head?"

"Probably the main meds."

"They must work well, I don't feel anything."

"That's good. You needed minor surgery, and a bunch or stiches."

"Oy vey, it's gonna hurt when the meds wear off."

"Maybe not, remember the Erudite developed new healing technology?"

"Yeah, it's what they used to heal Avigayil so quickly."

"Well, they did something with you. The wound should be gone in two days."

"That's good; I wouldn't want to drop out of initiation or anything."

"I doubt it. That doesn't sound like you."

"That's nice." He says quietly, deep in thought. I laugh quietly. He continues,

"So how long did you wait for me?"

"About five hours."

"Why so long?"

"I wanted to make sure you were alright. I was really worried."

"Why were you so worried?"

"I don't know, I just was. I don't want to think about what would have happened if you died. You've been a really good friend."

"Only friend?" he asks. I freeze, somehow I make a very intelligent response,

"Well…" he cuts me off, by pulling my face down close to his. I lean in, and press my lips to his.

**Next day, Avigayil:**

I jolt awake, to a loud sound. For a second I panic a little, not knowing what the noise is, and then I realize it is Ioni's loud snores. The clock says 6:00. Its only 30 minutes before my usual wake up time, I may as well start to get ready, and I will wake everyone else up later, although I don't get up, I just stay in my bed, not wanting to get up. The bed feels so soft, like a cloud, which is strange because we always complain about how uncomfortable these beds are. I must just be exhausted. My entire body is sore, and my legs feel crampy, probably from walking through knee deep mud.

I finally drag myself out of bed and get myself to the showers, where I take a boiling hot shower. So hot, it almost burns me, but it feels so good. Maybe I'm a masochist.

Because I took such a long shower, I am only ready by 6:45. Ioni, Shmuel and Yaakov are already awake. Ioni stares at me, with an evil glint in his eye, and the other two look distracted. I go around waking people up, like always, but when I get to Tuvia, I feel hesitant to touch him. While I am pretty glad he stabbed Shmuel, I don't know why he got angry so easily, for all I know he could do that to anyone. There is no reason it would be me, but what about Sivan, or tiny little Lele. I shake his shoulder anyways.

*page break*

Breakfast tastes good. It always does, but it tastes extra good today. Our entire table is buzzing with excitement from our win yesterday. No one says anything, but it is easy to see. The way Marge can't stop smiling, Shahar stars victoriously at Shmuel's table, and even Ohad seems more excited than he usually is.

"Hey, can we sit here?" asks someone behind me. I turn to see Dovid, Rivka, and Shoshie.

"Yeah sure." Shahar says. "We don't have enough people anyways."

"Why does that matter?" Marge asks

"Because the more people we have, the cooler we look." She replies. Marge just rolls her eyes.

The three Dauntless borns sit down. I notice Rivka's hair is slightly shorter, and with layers.

"Rivka, when did you get time to cut your hair between last night, and tonight?" I ask,

"I'm not Rivka."

"I'm pretty sure you Rivka last night."

"You must be thinking of my sister. We're twins. I'm Rochel."

"Oh. I also have a twin, except we are fraternal."

"Where is he? Did he transfer with you?" She asks. Somehow this instantly darkens my mood. I don't feel like explaining, so I just point my thumb behind me to where Yaakov sits, and I stop myself from looking at him.

"He's hot." She says. I just stare at her a little shocked. I don't know why I would be shocked though. Yaakov always had a bunch of girls padding after him, and staring at him. I think his first girlfriend was when he was 9. I guess I've gotten used to my group of friends staring at him like he murdered someone.

"Umm, okay." I say slowly. Shoshie interrupts my awkward stuttering,

"We should get to training, it's almost eight."

"Yeah we should." Ohad says. I get up; despite the protest my achy legs give.

When we get to the training room, Tris and Four sit boredly by the chalkboard, where the pairs are written down.

Lele-Marge

Ohad-Shahar

Avigayil-Yaakov

Ioni-Sivan

Shmuel-Tuvia

On one hand, I don't want to hurt my brother. On the other hand, I want to rip his limbs off, although I don't know if I can beat him. He is taller, weighs more, and is stronger.

Marge and Lele step on the mat. Lele is not going to win. We all know it, even she does. She is probably trying to accept the fact that she will have to leave in a few days.

As expected, the fight is over in a few minutes, and Marge has barely a bruise.

Shahar and Ohad come up next. This lasts a lot longer, but ends with Shahar on the floor, flopping, and trying to get up, while Ohad holds his foot over her stomach to keep her down. Actually it doesn't end, because Shahar digs her long, sharp, manicured nails into his leg, and gets back up, where they continue to fight, and surprisingly, Shahar manages to punch Ohad herd enough in the ear that he is too dizzy to get up.

I hear my name called, but I don't get up. I don't want to. I don't want to fight Yaakov. I am afraid I will either get beat, or flare with anger and injure him. I don't know which is worse. Apparently Four's anger is the worst, because it gets me up, and to the mat, where Yaakov stands, completely spaced out.

I throw the first punch, into his chest. He looks shocked, which irks me just a little. He's not acting like my brother; I shouldn't treat him like it. Even thinking this enrages me. My composure snaps when he slaps me. I don't know why, but it just reminds me of how much he has changed since we transferred. I say, or hiss,

"How could you leave me? And it makes it worse that now you are like BFFs with Shmuel, who is Shmuel. He's unlikeable."

"I don't expect you to understand; Avigayil, besides you pushed me away."

"I did not, you drifted away." I don't wait for him to answer. Instead I gather the strength in my arm, and punch in the face. Hard. And I don't stop. I pummel him with my fists, and I kick him in the stomach. He comes to his senses though, and he fights back. I don't even feel it due to the adrenalin and white hot anger that courses through me. I just continue to throw punches, and kicks, until he finally falls. It could have been one minute, or ten. I don't know. All I feel is the burning emotions behind my face. I take a few deep breaths, before I even start to calm down. I stumble off the mat, while Four circles my name. Shmuel goes to see if Yaakov is okay, and to take him to the hospital. For a second, I'm afraid that I actually hurt him, but Shmuel scowls at me, and I remember how he put me in the hospital, and I'm completely better now.

Shahar comes to me.

"Are you okay?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You looked pretty angry."

"I said I'm fine!"

"Okay, whatever."

"I'm sorry, I'm just… ugh"

"It's okay, I know." She puts her arm out to hug me, and I hug her back. She's a good friend. She pulls me back to the seats; where I sit down to watch the rest of the fights.

**A/N: my sister was playing with my computer, and the lines came out weird, sorry. I thought that guessing the POV for the first part would be easy, but my idiot sister didn't know and I TOLD HER. 64 mentioned her summer camp in the last chapter. She can get chapters to me by writing them in letters, but that takes a long time, so in all likelihood, there will be more chapters by me. Hope you liked the chapter, please review. **


	21. Chapter 21

**I'll admit, this one was pretty fun to write. Well, so far, who are your What If ships? Best fights or rivalries? Leave it in a review or PM - I'm feeling curious! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Tuvia:**

"Tuvia and Shmuel." Tris announces the final pair for our Hand-To-Hand Combat face-offs of the day, making my heart thud with a sickening excitement.

When I stand for my turn to fight, I fail to suppress the urge to cast Shmuel a sadistic, bloodthirsty, menacing grin. Of all people - my enemy! _And he can't even beat me! _I think, stepping up to the mat. _Because he's injured. _The smile melts from my face. _Because I nearly killed him. What's wrong with m-_

My guilty thoughts are interrupted by a fist lunging into my stomach. Shmuel's face is constantly contorted into a look of pain, whether mild or excruciating, but he seems to have healed enough to throw a punch hard enough to knock the wind out of me. I glare at him as I drive a swift roundhouse kick to his left shoulder. He briefly rubs his shoulder and, in that moment, I see an opportunity to strike a winning hit.

I throw myself forward, grabbing his shoulders. A murderous sound escapes my throat as we go down, but Shmuel twists slightly before our scuffle hits the ground, so he has control of the fight. He plants his feet on the ground to the right of my body, jabs his elbow into my stomach, presses all of his weight into the area, and holds the position. I feel like every organ in my body is being reshaped, compressed, and rearranged.

"Why do you bother, Gutman?" Shmuel murmurs. I try to answer _I don't have to - outranking you is effortless, _but my pained stomach prevents my almost witty reply from being spoken. Instead, with a pained grunt, I swing my knee up into his bicep.

When I hit his arm, I knock his elbow out from under him. Shmuel falls onto my stomach, giving me a chance to regain control. In a single fluid motion, I sit up, then fall forward, so I have the upper hand, and he is laying on the ground, his lower legs forced underneath his thighs. His hands rest by his sides, underneath my knees. Channeling everything in my past - the times he embarrassed me, angered me, teased me, took away my best friend, Ioni, and turned him into a total jerk - I bring back my left fist and punch him in his ugly, stupid mug. Shmuel yells in pain, his hand automatically reaching up to his chin. Blood leaks from the corner of his mouth.

_I really hope I don't kill him, _I think for a moment._ Not that I care, of course._ This jerk deserves everything I'm giving him, and more - so much so that I strongly consider swiping my finger across the growing line of blood, then licking my finger, just for the violent effect.

I smirk at him, ready to give another punch, but he just sneers at me. "Not today, _Tutu._" He lunges upward and slams his head into my stomach. The wind is knocked out of me, giving him a moment's window to turn the tables. He sits up on his knees, so we are both sitting, but I grab a handful of his hair and twist. He groans in pain, grasping my neck.

I release his head and take hold of his shoulders. Rising slightly, I hit his stomach with my knee as hard as I can, right where his not-quite-healed wound is. Retching, he doubles over, weakly leaning on all fours. "You...Idiot..." He growls. "Your two girlfriends - the crazy one, and the weakling - are going to break up with you now."

Adrenaline surges through my veins, along with the painful feeling of fury, so familiar the rush gives me pleasure. "They're not...my..._girlfriends!_" I whisper. Then, letting out a savage shriek, I leap forward, onto his back. With my weight putting strain on his back, his arms and legs give out beneath him. He lies on his stomach on the sweaty, smelly mat, struggling to upright himself. After a few seconds, his pushing grows weaker, so I stand up. I plant one foot on his back, holding him down, until Four marks down my victory.

When I see my success - and Shmuel's failure - documented, I release the boy reluctantly and return to the small mass of Initiates, my chest heaving from heavy, exhausted breathing, and from pure anger. In line, Sivan puts a gloved hand on my shoulder. "Good job, Tuvia!" She gives me a goofy smile, then whispers, "Now calm down, you look psychotic."

I hold my breath for a few seconds in an attempt to bring my face back to non-killer mode, but I'm not sure if that completely worked. When I finally resume breathing, I grin. "That fight felt...so good."

"QUIET!" Eric's voice rings out. We silence ourselves as he opens his mouth. "In a few days, you might be revealed as the weak link in Dauntless Initiation," He flashes a dark smile. "And we only take strong chains. Now, if you ask me, you're all wimps who deserve to be thrown into a burning pit full of live-"

Tris interrupts Eric's potentially - most likely - gruesome speech. "What Eric means is, now it's time for lunch."

*Pagebreakpagebreakpagebreakpleasepretendthisisali ne*

In the crowded cafeteria, Lele, Sivan, and I stand, trays in hand, looking for an empty table. The Dauntless Born kids who were on my Capture the Flag team glare at me as they walk past, turn up their noses, or mutter obscenities at me.

"Well," Lele huffs. "You'd think people could get over a little game."

Sivan nods. "Don't worry, Tuvia. They're going to find out how awesome you are, soon."

I shrug, leading my friends over to a table. Sivan wolfs down her taco, but Lele just stares down at her tray. When Sivan is halfway through the taco, she sets it down, wipes a bit of taco sauce from the corner of her mouth, and notices Lele. With a concerned look on her face, she asks, "Le', are you feeling alright?"

Lele sighs quietly. "I'm...I'm okay..."

Sivan doesn't buy into that, and neither do I. "Le', I know when something's wrong," Sivan leans her chin on her hand, resting her elbow on the table. "Now, penny for your thoughts?"

Lele gives her a sad smile. "Is that penny promised? I'll quote you on that."

Sivan lifts an eyebrow. "You're not answering my question."

"It's just...I, well, I think I'm not going to be ranked high enough in Initiation," Lele says quickly.

I tousle her blond hair gently. "Hey, it'll be okay. You'll get through - and, if not, I'm sure you'll be okay." I take a deep breath, and continue. "I'm not sure if I'll automatically go down in ranking for stabbing Shmuel."

Sivan's eyes widen which, honestly, makes her look adorable. "Why would they do that to you?"

"Lack of control?" I guess.

Sivan thinks for a moment, then comes up with an idea. "Tuvia - what if they took that as a sign of ferocity, which they just need to teach you to channel into places where it's welcomed?"

I let out a burst of air from between my lips, sounding like a helicopter. "I don't know, guys. We'll have to find out in a few days."

Lele looks concerned. "Sivan? Tuvia?"

We look at her, curious. "We're best friends, right?" She asks.

Sivan and I nod vigorously. "You can bet your Dauntless cake on that, Lele," Sivan assures her.

Lele smiles a bit. "Even if one of us ends up Factionless, and we never see each other again?"

This question is tough to answer. Not because of any doubt that we'll be friends, but because I don't want to think about that right now. With a bit of effort, I tell her, "Even then. We'll always be connected."

"Three Musketeers!" Sivan laughs, raising her hand to high-five me.

"Yeah," I murmur as I hear my hand slap against the latex. My heart does backflips in my sternum. "Forever."

**Thanks for reading! Ta-Ta for now, my fellow Divergent fans!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I have to get this off my guilty conscience. Almost all the initiates (except for Avigayil, Tuvia, Dovid and a few minor dauntless borns) are directly based on my class mates, names, images, etc. As you read this author note, you are probably thinking "who gives a rat's furry behind?" The point of this is because I feel slightly guilty for what 64 and I will do to the characters in upcoming chapters. It makes me feel like we have some sick fantasy in our heads about our classmates, especially Shmuel, Ioni, and Yaakov. Okay, you probably don't care, just read the story. **

**Avigayil:**

I don't realize that it's visiting day, until I overhear Shmuel and Yaakov talking about it. Okay, it was more eavesdropping than overhearing, but you can't blame me for wanting to know what they talk about, although I only heard them contemplating visiting day.

At the mention of visiting day, I hop up, and break into a run, blowing my cover behind a bed, making Shmuel and Yaakov gawk at me. I run as fast as you can through dark twisting hallways, until I get to the pit, where the biggest crowd of people I have ever seen stands.

Not only that, but it's also noisy. If my family did come, I'm not sure I can find them. I can't just give up now, so, I begin to filter through the people, and move slowly throughout the crowd. I don't recognize anyone. It should be easy to pick out the non Dauntless ones, because they all lack tattoos, piercings, and black clothing, but it isn't, it's really hard.

Suddenly I hear the loud high pitched yell of a young girl.

"Avi!"

I turn to see my little sister Chaya with her bouncy red curls flying behind her run towards me. When she reaches me, she gives me the biggest, strongest hug I have ever seen her give. I can't walk with her clutching my legs, so I pick her up, and balance her on my hip. She is surprisingly light, although I might just be getting stronger.

I walk in the direction that Chaya ran from, and I find both my parents standing by the metal railing near the chasm. I am a bit surprised to see my father. I didn't expect him to come, after the fight we had, but he's here. My mother envelops me in a bear hug, while she says softly in my ear,

"Your father wants to apologize. Please be civil."

I turn expectantly towards my father.

"I uh… I'm sorry for getting angry at you the night before you left. I want my little girl to be happy, and obviously that's not going to happen in Candor. I was just shocked with the news that both of my eldest children were leaving. Speaking of that, where is Yaakov?" my father asks.

"Right here." Says a quiet voice from behind my father, which I recognize as my brother. I refuse to look into his eyes. "Dad, can I speak to you privately?" he asks. My father nods and follows Yaakov to somewhere quieter. I turn towards my mother.

"What happened between you and your brother?" she asks.

"Ummmm, we had a fight after he started defending the kid that bullies me. I called him out for it, and now he and the bully are BFFs"

"Oh. I will talk to him separately. So how are you and how's Dauntless?"

"I'm good. Dauntless is hard, but I've been doing fairly well in initiation. I like it here. I'm happy. I made friends, and Shahar also transferred."

"It makes me happy to know that you are happy, although Chaya has been missing you, although that is probably implied by the fact that she refuses to let you go."

The thought of having to leave Chaya behind again brings tears to my eyes. She is too little to understand why we left, and she probably thinks we abandoned her. I feel bad.

"She will get over it." I say.

"She will. So do you have a boyfriend yet?"

"Mom?!"

"I'm your mother; I like to know these things."

"Not really."

"What does that mean?"

"No, I don't have a boyfriend."

"Awww."

"Really mom?" I ask, while she chuckles lightly. I hear shouting, and I turn to see my father marching angrily back towards us while Yaakov follows him.

"Why can't you just accept it dad?" Yaakov asks

"You are my son, and I want you to be happy, but there is a point where I draw the line."

"Fine. I don't need your blessing." Yaakov says before he stalks off into the crowd.

"Come Ahava, let's say good bye to Avigayil, and let's go."

"Yitzhak, what happened?" My mother says

"I will tell you back at home. Goodbye Avi. I love you. Stay well." My father says quietly.

"Avigayil, I love you very much. Please tell your brother I said goodbye. Come on Chaya, say goodbye to Avi."

"Good bye Avi." Chaya says, and she releases me to follow my parents through the crowd. I can't help feeling confused. What the hell was my father angry about? I guess I'll find out later. Right now, I just want to sleep, so I trudge back to the dorm rooms, where I sit down on the edge of my bed. The room is empty, and I am the only person. Everyone else is probably talking with their parents.

I don't know how long I sit there for, but eventually I hear footprints by the door. Ioni comes in, looking stormy, although when he sees me, he smiles mischievously.

"Hello Avigayil."

"Ioni."

He closes and locks the door. I begin to get suspicious.

"How did you visit with your parents go?"

"Why do you care?"

He doesn't reply, he just walks closer to me, so that he stands about a foot away from me. I don't like him so close to me, so kick him in the shin, hoping it will make him go away, but he hardly flinches. He grabs my shoulders, and pushes me. I get up to leave the room, but he grabs my wrist and jerks me towards him.

"You're not going anywhere."

"Dick-head, get off me."

"Make me."

"How mature." I say sarcastically.

"You know what; I'm tired of you thinking that you aren't defeatable. Why don't I change that feeling?"

My eyes widen. _He wouldn't… but then again, he is Ioni. I have to get out of here. _

I duck under his arm, and make a break for the door, but he was obviously expecting that so he grabs me by the waist, and slings me over his shoulder. While I kick, and thrash. He throws me down on my bed, and holds my shoulders down. Usually, I can win a fight because I'm fast, and smart, but when the point is to hold someone down so they can't get away, brute strength wins, which means I'm going to have to try harder to get away from Ioni. I continue to kick him, but he just holds my legs down. I try to punch him but it doesn't faze him.

I spit in his face, which distracts him for a second, but he manages to keep my shoulders pinned down.

"Now how do you feel bitch? I bet you feel weak. Good."

"Get off of me."

"Or what?"

I don't have an answer. There is nothing I can do to get him off me. I feel helpless. He sees my expression, and smiles.

"Exactly." He says this spitefully and happily in an evil way. I continue to thrash, and kick, but he pulls my shirt off. _Fuck. _ I can't let him get any further.

"HELP!" I yell as loud as I can. I also add a loud high pitched scream, loud enough to make Ioni recoil a little bit.

"No one is here to hear you. You can't stop me." He unbuttons my pants, and I kick as hard as I can. I also continue to scream.

I hear the handle jiggle. Someone must have heard me screaming.

"Helphelphelphelphelphelp!" I scream. I hear a crash, and I see that Shmuel kicked the door open. At first I think that he has come to join in, and help Ioni rape me, but instead he grabs Ioni, and punches him in the face.

"Ioni, what are you doing?"

"Trying to hurt the little bitch over there!"

"Seriously?! What is your problem man?"

"You know, there was a time when you would have helped me do it. Now all you do is hang out with Yaakov. Do you even remember that we are friends? Obviously not, you're too 'busy' with Yaakov to have friends."

"Go to hell." Shmuel says, before he punches Ioni in the face again. Ioni punches back, and they begin to fight maliciously, like they are actually trying to kill each other. Maybe they are. I button my pants back up, and pull my shirt back on.

Yaakov comes in, and kicks Ioni, who in bent on his knees, in the face, which knocks him out. He then rushes to me.

"Avi, are you okay?"

"Yeah, he never did anything. I'm just a little shaken."

"So you're okay?"

"Yes. Hey Shmuel, since when are you on my side?"

He doesn't say anything. He just looks at me, breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?" I ask. He nods his head, but he doesn't look okay. Yaakov's eyes widen.

"Maybe you should go to the hospital. Should we take Ioni?" Yaakov asks.

"Leave the mother fucker here. I'll come with you to the hospital." I say.


	23. Chapter 23

**Yeah, this was sad to write. I just want to clarify that these are not to go against the people for whom the characters are named. Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and happy freakin' summer!**

**Tuvia:**

_Please be here. Please come, _I think, slowly trudging through the rainbow of Faction colors swirling around me. Finally, I see a mass of curly black hair bobbing up and down wildly under a red bandana, Mom's signature style in Amity.

"Mom!" I shout, running across the Pit to reach her on Visiting Day. Dad, an Amity transfer from Erudite, trails along behind her, drinking in every detail of his surroundings. Once I've reached them, I wrap my arms around both of them.

"Tuvia!" Dad cries. "How are you?"

"I'm awesome!" I reply happily.

"Are you okay?" Mom asks, pulling back and sizing me up.

"I'm fine," I laugh. "How are you guys?"

"Good," Mom sighs, hugging me again. "We miss you, my little robin. We miss you and Nechemia running around."

"I had to grow up," I explain. "And Dauntless is my destiny."

"But we miss you!" My mom shrieks. "Couldn't you think of me, before your destiny?"

"Before my destiny?" I repeat, my face getting hot with anger. "Before my destiny?"

Not noticing my face reddening, Mom continues. "Yeah. I heard that Dauntless Initiation is rough, so you'll end up Factionless anyway."

"I will, will I?" Fury builds within me like a fire growing from coals - Dauntless fire, just like the Faction symbol. "Just because you are weak, does not mean I am."

"Tuvia!" Dad calls sharply. "That's mean!"

"Yes," I say in a mocking voice. "It is. Because I can be now. I am not Amity. I am not freaking Factionless, either. I am Dauntless."

Mom looks angry, an alien emotion to her. "Well, I'm Amity, Dauntless child. Seems we have little in common," She says coldly, turning away.

"She's been inconsolable lately," Dad mutters. "Hysterical. Don't mind her, she'll be okay soon." She grabs Dad's arm and drags him away, though he gives me one last apologetic glance.

"Brilliant," I murmur once I return to my senses, trying not to cry. _Mom. _The one who called me Little Robin, is now hardly my mother anymore, even by Faction transfer standards.

With my family gone, I notice the chatter die down - all but one voice. I turn to see Ioni, having woken up from being knocked out, standing on the edge of the Chasm. Everyone is looking at him, unsure of what to do. He gives a sad smile, waves with the hand that isn't clinging to the railing, and prepares to let go.

"Don't do this, Ioni!" Tris jumps forward, advancing on him. Her voice turns to a whisper, but I am near enough to hear. "My friend," Her voice breaks a bit, returning weakly. "My friend, when I was an Initiate, jumped off of this same Chasm. Don't. You have life left in you, you can change whatever pains you like this. Do. Not. Jump."

He looks at me, his pale face streaked with tears. Shmuel just looks at him, expressionless. "I have to."

I run forward, forgetting everything he has done to me. "Dude, just climb back over. There's no reason to do this. You'll get through Initiation, and become an awesome Dauntless. Just live, that's all you need to do."

"Why should I?" He snaps. "I'm not doing anyone any favors! What I did to you, what I did to...Avigayil." His voice grows softer. "All I wanted, for so long, was to be cool. Shmuel had, once, seemed cool, but not overpowering. I never should have stopped being your friend, Tuvia," He whispers. "Maybe then I wouldn't be the messed up bully that I am. Friends, Tuvia?"

"Friends, Ioni," I say, extending a hand to pull him over.

He smiles again, halfhearted and sickly. "Thanks," He says, letting go of the railing and jumping off of the Chasm. I stand, dumbfounded, for several seconds. I think I heard the sound of his body slamming to the ground, a dull thump.

My head buzzes, making me dizzy. Everyone else only looks shocked - he wasn't their friend, just the jerk's jerk best friend. But he was more to me - a friend, a former friend, a bully...and a friend for one last moment. "Ioni...he's..."

"I know, Tuvia," Tris has her blonde hair covering her face, her face pointed at the ground. "I know." She leads me over to the chalkboard, upon which the Rankings will soon be written. The other Initiates flock behind her as we walk, and sit in depressed, anxious clusters by clique, awaiting their fates. I sit down with Sivan and Lele, next to Avigayil's group. _I will not be Factionless, _I think bitterly. _My mother is wrong._

"Well," Sivan murmurs, wringing her hands "This is it - the Rankings. Get pumped, guys!"

Lele makes a strangled noise in her throat, making Sivan go quiet and timid. We know all too well that the odds aren't in her favor, since her Training performance hasn't been too great. I put an arm around her shoulder. "It'll be okay, Le. You'll be okay."

She sniffles. "You're lying. I'll miss you."

I take a deep breath, not wanting to hear one of my two best friends saying her last goodbyes to me. Not after Ioni's last goodbye. "Let's...let's save those until we know you're staying."

"Or going," Lele adds, beginning to cry. I turn to Sivan, wondering what to say, but she just looks at me, also unsure.

Finally, the Rankings are put up on the chalkboard. Everyone huddles into a mass of sweat and black clothing as they shove to see their rankings. I hop up and down, trying to see over the heads, but my shorter stature renders me incapable of the feat. I push out my elbows, and cut through the crowd until I reach the list. They read as follows:

Shmuel

Ioni

Tuvia

Avigayil

Shahar

Yaakov

Marge

Ohad

Sivan

Lele

"The bottom rank will be eliminated!" Four calls out over the hum of chatter. "Just the one on the bottom!"

_Lele. _My breath stops, threatening me with the pressure beating within my chest. _My amazing best friend. Intelligent, brave...Factionless._

I turn to scan the crowd for Lele, but she stands beside me, staring, open-mouthed, at the list. She is breathing heavily, like she has respiratory problems. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close. "It'll...You'll be okay. I'll talk to you whenever I can. I'll miss you."

She fails to force a smile through her sobbing. "Miss you, too."

"You'll leave tonight," Four says, his face revealing a bit of...is that sympathy? Yeah, it's sympathy.

"Tonight?" Lele repeats. Four nods.

"What will I do without you?" Sivan wails.

"What will I do without _you_?" Lele's eyes tear up, making her turn away.

Why, of all people, why Lele? A girl brave enough to come from Erudite, to learn how to forget everything and go for instinct, only to be forced out, told she's not good enough? Why can't we all be good enough?

_ I hate the Initiates, _I think angrily. _I hate Dauntless. I hate the Factions. I hate this whole freaking city and society. I hate the world. I hate everyone. I hate everything._


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: So 64 is going to camp in a week, and her amazing writing will sadly go with her. You guys will have to put up with me for a month. Sorry. She will probably be able to get at least one chapter to me through letters, but other than that, I will switch around POVs to Tris, Four, or another character. Sorry, there will be a little repeat from 64's chapter. **

**Avigayil:**

"Shmuel, you don't look very okay." I say to Shmuel who is currently stumbling across the pit holding his stomach.

"I told you… It's just… a cramp."

"Cut the crap, you aren't PMSing, besides, if it was a cramp, your stab wound wouldn't be bleeding." I say

"Wait… What?!" he says, while looking down at his stomach. The idiot must have reopened the wound.

"Ugh, put pressure on it, and let's get to the doctor." I say frustrated at his bullheaded refusal of injury.

"Shmuel, let's just go to the doctor, you obviously aren't okay." Yaakov says quietly

Shmuel says nothing; he just nods, so we continue our trek to the hospital. By the time we get there, Shmuel is pale, and the blood has started dripping from his shirt. Immediately, a nurse presses a button, and within a few seconds, a stretcher is brought out, and the pregnant doctor, Rosie who took care of me when Shmuel beat me up.

Shmuel is taken away, and we are told to wait. I feel conflicted. I don't know whether to be glad Shmuel got what he deserves, or upset because he injured himself saving me from Ioni. Is it possible to feel both?

We sit there for a bit before Yaakov finally talks,

"What time do the rankings come up?" he asks quietly. His face is pale, and though it is hard to see he is shaking.

"11 O' clock. Its only 9:30, we should be there in time." I reply.

"I hope."

"Shmuel's not going to die. It's not worse than when he was first stabbed. They're going to give him blood, something to strengthen him, stitch it up, and maybe something to fight any possible infections." I say.

"How did you know that?" asks a voice from behind me. I turn to see Rosie.

"I don't know, it just seems obvious."

"Well that's exactly what we are doing. Your idiot friend isn't letting his wound heal correctly, he keeps reopening it, although that's normal for Dauntless. He needs an hour for the IV and then he can go."

"So nothing serious?" Yaakov asks

"You were here when he was stabbed the first time, was it serious then?" she asks

"Well no."

"Then what makes you think it's serious now? If you will excuse me, I have some other patients who fell from the pit wall."

"Um, kay" Yaakov mumbles

"Oh and you" Rosie says while pointing to me "We could use another doctor. You should consider it for your job after initiation. You seem to have a natural talent for it."

"Thanks, I will." I say. Maybe I should be a doctor. I can't really see myself in any other position.

*Page break*

Shmuel eventually comes out, looking better.

"So are we ready to go?" he asks.

"Dude, we've been waiting for _you._" I say

"Whatever."

We begin to walk out of the hospital, and down the stairs towards bottom level of the pit. Now that I think about it, it seems really stupid to have the hospital up a flight of stairs. What if someone is really injured and can't walk up the stairs?

When we get to the pit, we find a whole scene. There is a crowd around the chasm railing. I push through the people to get closer, and the two boys follow me. I find Ioni, standing on top of the railing preparing to jump. Tris runs forward and says,

"Ioni, don't do this." And she continues to talk about her friend during initiation. Ioni stares blankly at Shmuel, and says quietly

"I have to."

None of us make any move to stop him, although surprisingly, Tuvia does. He tries to talk Ioni out of it.

"Why should I? What I did to you, what I did to Avigayil…" his voice breaks. I know this sounds harsh, but I kind of wish he would just jump already. He never did anything nice to me, for God's sake, he tried to rape me. Am I supposed to stop him from killing himself? He continues,

"All I wanted for so long was to be cool. Shmuel had once seemed cool, but not overpowering."

Shmuel is shaking his head disapprovingly. He is probably thinking the same thing as me.

"I never should have stopped being your friend Tuvia. Maybe then I wouldn't be the messed up bully that I am now. Friends Tuvia?" asks.

"Friends." Tuvia says, and makes a move to pull Ioni back, but instead Ioni lets go of the railing, and he falls. Most people, including Yaakov, stand still, too shocked to move, but Shmuel and I just walk away.

"I know this sound sick, but I'm kind of glad he died." Shmuel admits.

"I feel the same way. Jumping into the chasm does not make his actions right you know?"

"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about taking your brother from you. Its…" he stops there

"It's fine. I can't say I wasn't angry, or that I'm not still bitter, but he's not really my brother anymore. It's a new faction, I got new friends, and he got new friends. I can't force him to do anything, I can't confine him. I guess I was just more upset at his choice of friends. I mean, no offense, but you did kinda bully me in the beginning."

"I get that. I think your brother helped me get over that bully phase. If I never became friends with him, I probably would not have helped you today; I probably would have helped Ioni. That's gotta be good right?"

"Yeah."

*Pagebreak*

When we get to the initiate dorm at 11, Tris and Four are writing down the ranks, although it is turned away from us so that we can't see. They finally turn it our way, and I can see the ranks.

Shmuel

Ioni

Tuvia

Avigayil

Shahar

Yaakov

Marge

Ohad

Sivan

Lele

I got fourth? Wow, that's pretty good. Shahar engulfs me in a hug, and soon Marge joins, and then Ohad, who's long arms wrap around all three of us.

"We made it through! We get to the next stage!" Shahar exclaims.

"Why don't we go celebrate with cake?" Marge asks

"Yeah!" Ohad says, surprisingly enthusiastic.

"Why don't we meet up with the dauntless borns and celebrate. I wonder who else made it through?" I say

"You just want to see Dovid"

"Shut up Shahar." I say

"Make me."

"Did I, or did I not rank higher than you?"

"By only one place."

"More than zero, besides I can still kick your ass anytime."

"Oh sure you can."

"Yeah it's not like I ranked higher than you or anything."

"BY ONLY ONE PLACE!"

"still…"

"Stop fighting you too. I'm sure you guys would both kick each other's asses in a fight, can we go eat cake now?" Ohad asks.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ! This chapter is written by me (labelma) because 64 is not here. I have the next few chapters planned out, which will all be written by me. **

**Avigayil:**

"Sit here until your name is called, when you will walk through these doors." Four says, in a monotone voice, right before he, and Tris disappear behind a gray door.

We all scramble for seats in the narrow hallway. I sit with Dovid on my right and Shahar on my left, prodding me, and trying to bug me about Dovid. I slap her arm and she finally stops.

Right across from me, Yaakov sits down, and Shmuel is about to sit down before Rochel swoops in and takes the seat. Shmuel huffs, slightly angry that his seat was taken, and walks around to the seat on the other side of Yaakov.

Rochel scoots her seat closer to Yaakov so that their shoulders are touching,

"My name is Rochel, what's yours?"

"Yaakov."

"Can I call you Ginger?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Yaakov gives her a look that would sour milk

"Okay then, Yaakov it is. So what do you think is behind those doors?"

"I don't know."

"You certainly don't talk a lot."

"Or something is really bothering me right now."

"Oh that sucks." Rochel continues, not seeing what Yaakov is getting at. "Why don't we go for some cake or something tonight, to get to know each other?"

"Sorry, I can't be there."

"How about tomorrow?"

"I don't want to go out with you." Yaakov says coldly. This is not the brother I know. Rochel dejectedly scoots her chair farther away from Yaakov, leaving me, and half the room completely confused. Rochel is gorgeous, and her long black hair makes me jealous. In the 16 years I have known Yaakov he has never turned down a pretty girl. I will have to talk to him about it.

"Arye." Tris says, and a tall lanky boy makes his way towards the room. It is thirty minutes before the next name is called,

"Shoshie."

I continue chatting, and spacing off, until finally I hear

"Avigayil"

I slowly walk towards the door. On one hand I am extremely curious as to what is behind the doors; but on the other hand, there is a heavy feeling of dread that is weighing down on me, and a rabid squirrel in my stomach.

As I approach the door, Tris motions for me to walk inside.

"Please sit down." She says, while pointing at a metal chair that looks like a dentist's chair, but much less comfortable. Tris's words are somewhat cheery but they are laced with something I can't put my finger on. Depression, anxiety, fear, or anger maybe?

I do as I am told, and I find that the chair is just as uncomfortable as it looked in the first place.

"Ummmmm, explain please?" I ask. My voice quivers just a little.

"I'm that you have heard the term 'face your fears' we take this literally. This is a simulation that will teach you how to control your emotions in the middle of a frightening situation." Four says, in a monotone voice. He then picks up a very large needle that makes my face pale.

"I don't remember a large needle during the aptitude test." I say, trying to sound brave, although it doesn't come out right. Tris laughs. It is clearly fake, and forced, but it _does _help.

"We use a more advanced version. You don't have to wear any wires, or anything, although we will wear wires in order to see what's going on inside your head." Tris says, still in that fake cheery voice. "Now if you don't mind, Four will inject you, and the serum will go into effect in 60 seconds."

Of course I mind, but anyone with a brain can see this isn't a choice. The needle pricks my neck, sending an ache throughout my body.

"You will stay in the simulation until you find a way to calm down, and lower your heart-rate to average, and control your breathing." Four says, still monotone.

My heart is already beating faster than average, and I am sweating a lot. Black dots begin to appear, and Tris says,

"Good luck, and be brave. The first time is the hardest." As my vision blurs. The last thing I see is Tris's cheery exterior melt into a tired frown.

My eyes open and I am in a beautiful forest, not really the site I would expect for a horrible fear. I turn to see a raspberry bush, with large ripe berries, and I recall fond memories of picking raspberries with my brother from the bush behind our house. I'm not sure why this is a fear. I'm not afraid, just a little nostalgic. I pick a berry, and right as I am about to pop it into my mouth, something dark drops onto my hand. It looks like a flat, round spider, and I begin to realize how this is a fear. Another tick crawls onto my hand, and before I can react, the small black bugs begin to come at me from everywhere. They swarm my body. I thought it was hard to get a regular tick off of you, even when you haven't been bitten, but it's almost like they were super glued to my body. I try to rub them off, which does not work at all; in fact it just pushes them closer to my skin. I barely register the fact that I am screaming, and crying and wiggling, trying to get the ticks off of me. I can feel their tiny legs crawling all over me, and I let my brain succumb to the fear, and panic. I am hyperventilating, and my head hurts so badly, that it is as if someone took a sledgehammer and is repeatedly knocking it full force against my head.

After a few minutes of panicking, I begin to calm just a little, but I am still breathing heavily, and I'm still consumed with fear. Finally I feel the ticks bite into my flesh, and begin to suck my blood, and that is what brings me to my senses.

I have never been bitten by a tick before, but I know that when they bite, they release a chemical that numbs the nerves. I shouldn't be able to even feel them on my body, much less feel them bite me. This is all a simulation, it isn't real. The ticks are not real, the forest is not real, the raspberries are not real, and this is all in my head.

_It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. _

I repeat in my head so many times I lose count. My head stops hurting, and I can feel my pulse throughout my body. I take three deep breaths, and by the time I exhale for the third time, my eyes are open and I am back in the simulation room, with Four and Tris staring at me, with just a little bit of shock, although I could be imagining it. I should probably feel scared, or panicked, but instead I feel angry, and my rage is increasing by the second. Eventually it builds up, and breaks my calm dam.

"Well what the fuck was the point of that?!" I yell

Tris is taken aback, although Four just narrows his eyes.

"The point is to get you to control your-" he starts before I interrupt him,

"Yeah, yeah I got that. It just seems like a load of bullshit to me. I'm sure there is another way you can teach us to control our emotions but no. You choose to torture us instead. You two are just a couple of sadistic, evil bags of horse shit." I don't even know what I'm saying; I am just so caught up in my rage that it just exploded from my mouth. I expect Four to continue his calm approach, but instead Tris slaps me in the face. I am to shocked to say anything, but she talks instead,

"You actually think we enjoy this?! You think we enjoy putting a bunch of KIDS through this?! We both had to go through this; we know what it's like. We know that it's absolute hell! And here you come, with the nerve to say that we enjoy this! Ha! This is our job, it's not like we have a choice whether to do this or not. We have our reasons, and not one of them has to do with a sadistic desire to watch children face their worst fears!" she says almost on the brink of lunacy. I get up; wanting to leave the room as fast as I can, but I can't just let her scream at me, and not scream back.

"Okay fine, then maybe you don't necessarily enjoy doing this to us, but I don't think that you have a right to slap me, and scream at me, after putting me through hell."

Tris almost lunges at me, but Four grabs her waist with one arm and gingerly touches her hair with his other hand trying to calm her down. It doesn't work. He mouths for me to go, which I do, but not before I flick my middle finger up at them.

Maybe my anger is misplaced. It probably is, I'm just so angry at the world. I had to take it out on someone. It probably wasn't smart to take it out on a woman who can jeopardize my future in Dauntless. I guess I can apologize tomorrow.

I walk down the hallway that leads straight to the dorms. As soon as I get inside, Marge leaps into my arms. She was the only one of my friends to go before me, and I'm guessing her experience was just as bad, if not worse than mine.

"That was so freaky, I didn't stop crying for 20 minutes." She says. Her voice is still shaky.

"Really? The only emotion I had after coming out of that was extreme rage. I took it out on Tris, I might have just screwed up my future."

"Oh, you're screwed unless you apologize. You seriously weren't even a little scared?"

"I was during the simulation, but I mean, it wasn't real you know. I just kinda realized that, and it made me feel better."

"Really? It felt so real to me. I didn't even realize it was a simulation, I was so scared."

"Mmm" I grunt. I go to sit down on my bed, and I space out for a few minutes. I am startled back into reality when my brother comes in. His face is pale, but other than that, he seems fine.

"Avi, are you okay? I heard a lot of screaming and cussing before I was called in."

"I'm fine, I was just angry."

"That's good. Umm, I need to talk to you about something. In private."

**A/N: dun dun dun duuuunnnn. If you can figure out what Yaakov needs to talk about, then you will get a prize, which I haven't figured out yet. If you were paying attention, I have been dropping hints since the beginning of the story, one of you should have guessed by now. I almost gave myself a panic attack writing this, because I really am afraid of ticks. Creepy little devil bitches. Anyways, the next chapter will be Tris's point of view. Maybe you will see a little bit into the reason that Four got drunk in the original book. **


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Lucky you, another update. I won't upload another chapter until I get at least 2 reviews, good or bad. This is just one big converstation between Tris and Tobias. It will be pretty short, but I will update the next chapter soon. **

**Tris:**

"Avigayil was right ya know." I say, quietly. I am sprawled out on my bed, with Tobias beside me.

"About what?"

"That we torture the initiates. I mean, she could have been more polite, but she had a point."

"We had to go through it too."

"Right, and that's what makes it so much worse. We know exactly what they are going through."

"How do you think I felt, when I had to do your simulations?"

"Yeah well… there was Peter. At least you could enjoy his pain."

"But still. At that point I was already head over heels for you. Can you imagine what it was like for me, seeing you in that much pain? I mean, there was a reason I got drunk later that day."

I laugh a little, as I remember that day.

"I almost forgot that day. You know, you almost got me in trouble with my friends. Will heard you tell me I looked good."

"You did."

"Ugh, that's not really an excuse. Hmmm, drinking would be really good right now. Should we go to the bar?"

"I think my experience is proof that we should not. Drinking away our troubles is not the answer."

"I know another way." I say quietly, with a little smirk. Tobias laughs a little, and crashes his lips to mine.

"Actually that doesn't really help, I'm still sad." I say.

"You'll get over it."

"I hope."

"You will. Do you think the ginger twins are divergent?"

"Maybe. They both seemed to be aware, but we can't be sure until they somehow manipulate the simulations. No one else looked like they knew the simulation was real."

"They still might not be divergent though."

"True. I'm still sad." I say. "I feel really, really bad for the initiates."

"I know, but they have to learn how to conquer their fears. Do you remember what I told you your first day?"

"That you stay away from _stiffs _as much as you can."

"It's just like you to remember that."

"Well, it made me angry, so yeah, I remembered it."

"You know why I stay away from Abnegation."

"Yeah."

"Anyways, back to the point. I told you that everyone needs to learn to keep their fears in check, especially the Dauntless. If they don't know how to do that, they don't belong here."

"Still."

"Yes Tris, I know that you are sad, you don't need to keep reminding me."

"You have like, zero emotion."

"You're one to talk. Do you even feel pain?"

"I'm gonna be the bigger person and not talk back."

"You _started_ it."

"You are soooooo immature." I say sarcastically. I know that Tobias is more mature than most Dauntless his age.

Tobias laughs

"I love you Tris."

"I love you too. You never did tell me when you first started linking me."

"Oh yeah. I kinda accepted it when I was throwing knives at your head."

"What a wonderful time to admit you like someone. Right as you throw a dangerous weapon at my head."

"I had to. I couldn't let Eric know I liked you."

"Whatever."

"You underestimate my intelligence."

"No I don't. I already know you're a genius. I'm amazed you didn't get an aptitude for Erudite."

"I don't like them."

"I know. At least they stopped writing articles about Abnegation."

"Not all of them were lies though."

"I know. Can we just go to sleep?"

"It's only nine."

"My depression has made me tired."

"Okay." Tobias says with a slight smile. He grabs my by the waist, and pulls me towards him so he is spooning me. he kisses the back of my head.

"Goodnight Tris."

"G'night." I say, but I am already drifting towards the land of dreams.

**A/N: It sucked I know, I don't need to be told. It was just a filler chapter. Congratulations to Calliegirl23 for guessing what Yaakov needs to talk about. I'm glad someone was paying close enough attention to the MANY hints. Remember, the next chapter will not get uploaded until I get 2 reviews. It's not that much to ask. **


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: so I asked for 2 reviews, and I got 6. You guys rock more than limestone (Which is an actual rock!) This is the last chapter before 64 comes back and relieves me of my writing duty. Anyways, for those of you who did not pick up the hints, here is the chapter you were all waiting for, (not really, I'm sure that none of you give a crap)**

**Avigayil:**

I follow Yaakov out into the quiet hallway, where he turns to me. His face is deathly pale, and when he swallows, his Adam's apple bobs up and down.

"You know what? Never mind. Go back to the dorm." He says shakily. He begins to walk off, but I grab his arm.

"What happened to those days when we used to tell each other everything?"

"We aren't in Candor anymore."

"I'm still me, and you're still you. Besides we are twins. I can feel your emotions."

"No you can't."

"True, you're just pale as a ghost and your voice is shaking. I'm still your sister, and I deserve to know what's making you so nervous."

"Fine, but you won't like it, and remember, I'm still me, no matter what."

"Whatever, get on with it."

"I'm gay."

My response is somewhere along the lines of "wwwwuuuuuhhhh"

He scratches the back of his neck, and pales more, if possible.

"But, you're the biggest player I know. I can't even count the number of girlfriends you've had."

"Well, things changed. I met Shmuel."

I recoil. Shmuel may have been redeemed, but I was not expecting that.

"When did this start?!"

"Well, I started doubting myself back in Candor. I guess Shmuel kinda made me sure."

"This started back when were in Candor!? Back when I told you everything?! I guess the feeling wasn't mutual."

I walk off. I guess it makes sense, but I'm still pissed. He should have told me.

I get back to the dorm, where I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, for what is probably a few hours, because by the time I get back to reality, everyone is done with simulations.

"Hey, who wants to get cake?" Asks Shahar.

"Me!" I say, and so do Marge, Ohad, and the Dauntless borns who were hanging out in our dorm. I get a little dizzy when I notice Dovid is one of them.

We head to the cafeteria. Everyone is talking, and discussing simulations, and I am drowning in thoughts. Why is my life so fucking complicated? At least we have cake. Cake is nice. Its all buttery, and rich, and the chocolatiness is awesome.

"Avigayil, did you hear me?"

"Uh what?" I ask

"I asked why you seemed so spaced out, but obviously you were thinking about marrying your cake." Dovid asks.

"I don't want to talk about it." I say

"Well you aren't the only upset one, look at Rochel." He says, and I do. She has a red nose, and puffy eyes. Rivka, her sister has her arms around Rochel, who is obviously in need of comfort.

"Rochel why are you so upset?" I ask

"Your stupid brother rejected me! I don't like being rejected."

I loudly bang me head on the table.

"Thanks for reminding me." I mumble under my breath.

"Woah, Avigayil, that was a little loud." Ohad says, "Why did you do that."

"I just found out my stupid brother is gay, and has been for months! I used to tell him everything. It used to be tit for tat. I told him everything, and he told me everything. Obviously not, because I just now found out, that my brother is in love with a guy who I thought was my enemy, but just saved me from being raped, so I really don't know anymore!" I say loudly. Rochel is taken aback, and so is almost everyone else at the table.

"Here have some cake." Shahar says.

"Always."

*pagebreak*

Eventually, We all forget about my outburst, and we begin to actually have a good time.

"Why don't we go back to the dorms and play truth or dare?" Rivka suggests. We all agree, and we begin to make our way towards the dorms.

"So what was in your simulation?" I ask Shahar.

"People jumping out at me."

"Really? Mine was ticks."

"That makes sense." She says.

"What the hell?!" I hear from in front of us, and then a thump, like someone hitting the floor. I run forward to find Dovid, soaking wet with some strange liquid, and out cold.

I don't think, I just jump into action. He is not breathing, and if he has a pulse, I can't feel it, so I start to pump his chest. I can only see everyone else from the corner of my eye, and they are shouting but I can't make out words. I am too focused on pumping Dovid's chest.

My arms feel heavy, and my chest starts to hurt. Spots begin to cloud my vision, and the world begins to spin. I just keep thinking that I need to save Dovid, but my mind is foggy, and going black. I'm not sure what happens next, but everything goes dark.

**A/N: I have a story to tell, and I swear on everything that its true, and really happened. **

**I was at camp, being a counselor like I always am. The kids were having sports outside, so all the counselors get a bit of a break, since the sports directors are with them. I saw a raspberry bush, and I was all "Oh cool, I love raspberries." Thinking nothing of my previous chapter about raspberry bushes. As I'm enjoying my raspberries on a bench, with another counselor, my legs begin to feel itchy, so I scratch them, and I feel something weird like a scab on my leg, except, I didn't have any scabs. I look down at my leg, and guess what I see? A fucking tick! I start freaking out, and I ask to other counselor to watch my kids so I can check myself indoors. I run all the way back to the building, where I strip naked in the bathroom and check every inch of my body and clothes. Luckily, there were no other ticks, but I was seriously freaked out for the rest of the day. Coincidence? Anyways, Please REVIEW! They make me so happy. **


	28. Chapter 28

**HEEEEY! I missed you guys! How's summer? Good? Great? Hope so! I've been so excited to write this! Hope it's worth the wait! Now I can go back to doing all the even chapters! Okay, let's get down to business: I have an announcement. Labelma is going to camp...for three weeks! And that means...another hiatus! Sorry, guys. We'll be back to frequent updates soon, though! Well...Enjoy!**

**Tuvia:**

Dark. The world is dark. Ohad turned on the lights already, answered by the drowsy groans of several teenagers, but everything feels like darkness all the time for me. Every time I need someone, I lose them. Lele is Factionless, my brother is Candor, my mother is a crazy, overly attached witch, Ioni, the friend who left me, is gone, and now I've lost myself. What am I? Am I human? No human hates the world this way. No human wants to attack friends, enemies, strangers, and time itself, just wishing to make everything stop. I want to jump into the Chasm. But I can't. Because that would only end me. Not everything else. Besides, I think people have caught on to that. Sivan sticks close by me lately, closer than usual, something I would enjoy before. Before I was danger in human form. She thinks she is my protector. But all she does is endanger herself. I am a monster. I am a killer. And maybe she deserves it. And maybe she doesn't.

In my horrible daze, I peel myself out of my bed for another day of being death. I slowly pull a shirt over my head - my shirt? Maybe not - and go through my daily routine. I might have forgotten or added things, though. Every day sucks, so who cares?

I sit down on my bed again, only to be gently coaxed back up by Sivan, and led out the door. I want to fight - why should the world be subjected to my presence? - but I don't want to kill her. Even though fate will make me. Eventually. I just know it.

All of the Initiates are led into an unfamiliar hallway. Four commands everyone to sit down in the chairs arranged in the corridor, which everyone quickly obeys. I make no effort to take a seat before they are all taken. _They aren't worth it, _I think bitterly. _It's their faults that Lele is somewhere, probably fighting for stale bread._

Sivan looks at the kid in the nearest seat, a black-haired boy with whom I had played Capture the Flag. "Hello," She smiles. "What is your name?"

"Avi," He mumbles.

"Sivan," She brightly introduces herself. Her voice drops to barely above a whisper. "Hey, can my friend sit here?"

He glares at her. "But...I'm sitting here."

In the corner of my eye, I can see Sivan having a silent argument. I can guess what she's saying. _He's crazy. Just let him sit. Because he's straight-up nuts._

I don't care what society does. Society is stupid. Society ruined my family and took away my friends. Society sits in chairs? I will not. I flop down on the floor, crossing my legs.

"Tuvia?" Sivan asks. "I can get you a chair."

I stare menacingly at her, and I can tell that she's done offering to make people give up their seats. Kids talk around me, in their chairs. I put my fingers in my ears, trying to tune everything out. But I can't. Because I know that it is happening around me. Things go on, no matter whether or not I can. Maybe that's the hardest part of it all.

After what feels like a million lifetimes, someone - Sivan - shakes my shoulder. I uncover my ears. "Tuvia," She mutters, offering her hand to help me up. "Four called you."

I walk through the grey door, the world passing by me in a mix of color and sound, combining into a sickening blur, making me want to cry out, "STOP!"

Beyond the grey door sits a metal chair - like one that a mad scientist would use. _Are they testing my brain? _I think, looking wildly at Four and Tris.

Four motions for me to sit down in the chair, mouthing something. I can't hear what he says, though. My brain is buzzing. What is happening?

Somehow, I find myself sitting in the chair. Gently, Four begins to speak, slowly, like I'm an animal. He's an animal. He trains us. He trained Lele. He makes us fight against each other. Like animals. "This is a simulation that will put you into the scenarios of your fears. This is not to make them go away, but to make you able to fight them."

Before I can react, protest, or fight, Tris jumps forward with a needle. She injects it into my neck. The world around me begins to look blurry, almost bubbly. _Are they killing me? _I think, my final thought as the world closes off around me.

My eyes open again to the sound of laughter. My ankles and wrists are bound in shackles, biting at my skin. I have been stripped down to my underwear - briefs covered in little, fluffy, cheerful cartoon rabbits, of all things. All around my trapped body, people tease me. Shmuel sneers, tossing a rotten tomato at my face, hitting me square on the nose. This makes the horrible group snicker harder. My face burns red enough to make tomato soup of that thing. I have nightmares all the time of this. And now...it's real. My fear. _Humiliation._

My mother steps forward. "Hello, Little Robin," She whispers.

"Mother," I smile, before I realize that she is carrying an iron rod. She wields it above her head, bringing it down with a loud, bone-breaking _crack _on my shoulder. I cry out in agony, making the crowd shriek with laughter. _I will not cry, _I think. _I will not be conquered_. I will my jaw to remain still when Mother hits me in the stomach, knee-caps, back, probably crippling me.

"Wimp!" Sivan yells out, met by shouts of agreement and amusement.

"Gained a little weight there, Little Brother?" Nechemia jeers. I look down at my bare abdomen, where there should be muscle. Instead, a thick layer of fat covers my stomach. I turn crimson, my hands growing clammy as the cruel crowd laughs at my large body.

"STOP!" I yell, fighting against my chains in vain. "I will kill you all! I will..." I probably yell more things, probably swearing horribly, but I lose track completely. I have lost control.

"Sure," My father laughs. "The boy being beaten by his mother can kill us all. Have fun with that, Kid," He says sarcastically.

Mother holds up the rod one last time, about to end it all with a blow to my head, when I realize just how funny this is. My Amity mother is about to brutally kill her own son. I let out a small chuckle. Mother stops. _She can't handle it, _I think, laughing harder at her cowardice. She must think I have something to lose. But I have nothing. I am nothing. I narrow my eyes at her. "Look me in the eyes, Mother. Look me in the eyes, one last time, when you hit me."

She prepares to strike, but the world fizzles out again. I regain consciousness back in the metal chair, gasping for air. _I'm still breathing, _I think. _Why do I keep living in such a horrible world?_

My whole body aches, as though the painful beating the Simulation had created has actually bruised me. Tris and Four watch me carefully. Once I feel life returning to my body, I jump up as fast as I can.

"What was _that?" _I let out a barbaric scream, leaping onto Four, tackling him to the linoleum floor. Before he can react, I punch him across the face.

"That...was...Dauntless," Four grunts, lifting his hand up to his jaw. He shoves me off of him and gets up. He turns away from me, walking toward the door to lead me out of the room.

Seeing my chance to attack the horrible man, I take a running start toward him. I wrap my hands around his neck from behind, digging my fingernails into his skin. He twists around, wrestling himself loose from my grip. When my hands have been pried off of him, I begin hitting him. "You. Idiots. Take. Away. Everything!" I shout between strikes, then I sprint out the door, through the halls, into the dormitory. I flop onto my bed, wanting everything to disappear.

_Everything is gone. Everything. Everything. And anything left...I will hurt, whether I want to or not. _I feel my eyes burn, threatening to let tears fall. But the world will not see me cry. No, the world will never see my weakness.

"Hey, Tuvia?" The door slams shut. _Sivan. _"Are you alright?"

_No. Don't respond. She'll only die._ I remain completely still on my bed. Maybe I can trick the world into thinking I'm dead. But I can't trick myself.

"Tuvia, I-" She begins, but she is interrupted by the door opening again. Tris and Four run in and grab my shoulders, pulling me up and shaking me.

"This is the last time, Tuvia," Four growls.

Tris looks into my eyes. "You promised me you'd try harder, after stabbing Shmuel."

Tris activates something in my heart, making me want to apologize. A sign of being human. _No, _I realize. _Being human is the problem. _I try to apologize, but my brain is so numb, I probably am just stammering and babbling.

Four pulls me toward the door roughly, angrily. "We are taking you to a doctor. This needs to stop."

"Wait!" Sivan cries. Tris and Four look at her, expectantly. She turns red. "Can I...can I come with him?"

Tris takes Four's hand, looking up at him. The couple has a conversation silently, just with their eyes. Finally, Tris looks at Sivan and me apologetically. "I'm sorry. I understand how much you want to comfort him there, but we can't risk it. He might hurt you."

_He might hurt you. _I am a madman. I am a beast. I can kill against my own desire. I have driven the world away. The world has driven me away. Is that good or bad?

By the time I am sitting in an uncomfortable purple chair in the Waiting Room of the psychologist's practice, I am still not sure.

**Well, that was fun. Anyway, thanks for reading! Hope it was good, because it was a definite challenge! Hey, I'm a bit curious about something lately: what are your thoughts about Tuvia(Sane Tuvia, though I'd like to know your opinions about Crazy Tuvia also)? Like, do you think he's rude, awkward, funny, good, bad, conflicted, contradicting, etc? I want to know what you guys think of him. Please put it in either a review or PM! See y'all in three weeks! Bye!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Yay I'm back. Camp was really fun, but everything ends, and I had to come home eventually. Anyways, here is the next chapter. Sigh, another hospital scene. I watch too much Grey's Anatomy. **

**Avigayil:**

I open my eyes to a splitting headache, and the same red-haired doctor that I see every single time.

"Good you're awake." She mumbles.

"Ugh, what the hell happened?"

"Some idiot Dauntless put a bucket of chloroform above a door. When your friend opened the door, it fell on him. It made his heart stop. When you went to help him the fumes made you pass out. We had to send him to an Erudite hospital for emergency treatment. He's stable, but critical. You've been out for 8 hours. The girl who was with you, Shahar, took good control of the situation. She's a born leader; I hope Tris and Four see it too."

"What shit-head puts a bucket of chloroform above a door?"

"I've seen worse."

"Makes sense."

"You can leave when your IV is finished, but Dovid needs to stay until he is fully healed."

Why do all the bad things happen to me? This is like my third trip to the hospital this week.

"Is Dovid back here or is he still at the Erudite hospital?" I ask.

"He's here. You can visit him when I release you. Meanwhile, some of your friends want to see you."

"Send them in." I say my voice hollow. I don't know whether I want Yaakov here or if I want him to leave me alone.

Five minutes later, Shahar comes in, followed by Marge, Ohad, Yaakov and Shmuel. I pointedly glare at Yaakov, and say,

"Shouldn't you and Shmuel be making out or something?"

They cringe, and the malicious part of me feels twinge of joy. I push away the guilt that comes with it. The other three just look over their shoulder, not really caring.

"We found out who did the prank with the chloroform. It was one of the dauntless born initiates. Four is giving him a talk right now." Marge says.

"Is it too much to hope he gets punched in the face?" I ask

"Probably." Ohad mumbles.

"So, Shahar I heard you took charge of the situation. How'd that happen?"

"Well, not to boast or anything, but I'm awesome." She says.

"And humble too." Shmuel mutters under his breath, but loud enough for us to hear.

"But seriously, what happened?" I ask again.

"After you passed out, I told Marge to get a doctor and Ohad to get Tris or Four, meanwhile I made sure we didn't get to close, because it thought whatever fell on Dovid was contagious or something since it got you sick too. I really didn't do that much." She says.

"How are you Avi?" Yaakov asks.

"I feel like elephant shit."

"Why elephants?" Ohad asks

"It was just the first thing that came out, now shut up." I snap. I peer up at the IV bag and find it empty.

"NURSE!" I shout.

A nurse comes rushing in.

"My IV is done, can I go?"

"I thought someone was dying. Yes, you can leave. Let me take the needle out."

I feel a familiar pinch as she pulls the needle out of my skin. I jump up and stretch my arms. The satisfying ache makes me feel a bit better.

"You guys can go get dinner, or whatever. I want to go see Dovid." I say. Shahar makes kissing motions at me. I glare. Hopefully no one else saw. I turn away to go find Dovid's room, but someone put their hand on my arm to stop me. I turn around to find my brother, with Shmuel behind him. Everyone else has left.

"Are you sure you are okay? You look pretty pale." Yaakov asks.

"I just passed out," I motion to Shmuel, "He's done worse to me." Shmuel puts his hands up in surrender. "Seriously, I'm okay. Just go."

"Listen. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just didn't know how…"

"It's fine I guess."

"Okay, thanks." He smirks mischievously, "Have fun with Dovid. Always use protection."

My cheeks burn red. I shove him.

"You're one to talk. What have _you _been doing?" I hiss. It's his turn to redden.

"Just remember I'm your older brother. I reserve the right to approve or disapprove your choice of boyfriends." He says, trying to contain a smile.

"You're older by four freaking minutes, and besides, obviously you have terrible taste in men." I say as I point to Shmuel.

"Hey I'm not so bad." Shmuel says defensively. I lift my shirt up to the bottom of my rib cage where there are still a few bruises.

"My broken ribs beg to differ."

"Hey you broke my leg."

"I'm going. Bye." I say, as I quickly walk away. Yaakov shouts behinds me,

"Use protection!"

"Fuck you!" I shout back.

I quickly find Dovid's room since there aren't that many rooms in the Dauntless hospital. His door is wide open so I walk in. he is lying in bed with a bunch of wires and electrodes stuck to him. He smiles when he sees me. I sit in a chair beside his bed.

"How's it going?"

"There are so many needles in me, I feel like a porcupine, and that stupid heart monitor keeps beeping, and then I think 'I wish that thing would stop beeping' but then I remember that if the machine stops beeping, then I die, and I slap my face for even thinking it in the first place."

"Sounds wonderful."

"Yeah it's all rainbows, sunshine and unicorn poop."

"Are you on drugs?"

"Probably."

I laugh, which makes him laugh but then he cringes because he is probably in pain.

"I feel really bad about what happened. You shouldn't have tried to help me." he says.

"It wasn't your fault, and what was I supposed to do? Just leave you there?"

"Well, passing out didn't really help, although I appreciate the thought. I kinda wish I was awake to see you lying on top of me though."

For the fifth time in like 10 minutes I feel my face turn tomato red, but I laugh anyways. He continues,

"Seriously though, I've been thinking that I chose Dauntless, so I have to act dauntlessly, which I haven't really been doing."

"How so?" I ask

"Because I haven't done this yet." He says while he grabs me and kisses me flat on the lips. My mind goes all girly and happy, and I can't help thinking _YES! FINALLY! _

Okay, maybe we got a little too into it. If any of the nurses walked in the probably would have screamed at us.

Suddenly I feel him wince.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Just a little, my chest is starting to hurt, before you start apologizing, it's not your fault. Remind me to skin Gabe when I get out of here for pulling the prank."

"I will, in fact, I think I'll join you."

"Sounds good to me. Go have dinner. I'm sure you're starved. I am, but the nurses won't let me eat."

"That's true. See you tomorrow. You're lucky. You get out of simulations for a day."

He smiles at me and I walk out, feeling very happy.

**A/N: I know, I know another hospital makout scene. I blame Shonda Rhimes. Also, I got a question. Should this end once everyone has picked their jobs, should we keep writing about their lives after initiation, or should we find a way to incorporate the war? Please review. **


	30. Chapter 30

**Guys, I'm SO sorry it's taken so long! If you read the fanfiction that's under my name, you'll know that computer problems have been really messing me up. This chapter was a complex one to write - and I'm no doctor, so please forgive me if I make any mistakes. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Tuvia:**

"Tuvia?" A woman in a blue cotton dress calls, reading from a clipboard. Four stands, but I sit. I can't be cured. I am too low an organism to be saved. This whole sickening world - that's what needs a cure, not that any of the idiots in the world understand - especially not these Erudite phonies.

Four pulls me up by the arms, almost dragging me into a room occupied only by a chair, a chaise, and one person.

"Hello, Tuvia. I am Dr. Kessler." The doctor, a man with a clean shaven face and dark hair, introduces himself, holding out his hand. "Listen, man, do a guy a favor - you're my first real patient. Go easy on me, okay?"

_Shake the hand of someone who is here to judge me, and say I'm crazy for seeing the filth of their society? Who is he to judge my sanity? I am a killer, anyway. He is only endangering himself. _I stare him down, pointedly not shaking his hand.

"Tuvia," Four mutters harshly, jostling me in the side. "Shake the doctor's hand."

Dr. Kessler chuckles. "It's fine, I understand why he doesn't want to shake my hand." His face turns a bit serious. "Now, just leave us alone for an hour or so," He tells Four softly.

Four - the beast of a man who exiled my best friend to the Factionless, and brought me to the Loony Bin - exits into the Waiting Room, leaving me with the Cuckoo Doctor.

"Take a seat on the chaise," Dr. Kessler instructs me gently. I take one look at the purple lounge, and I can't. I know I, monster that I am, can't have that comfort. And he, society's puppet that he is, doesn't deserve the power to control me. He's just going to die. I stare into his eyes as I sit directly beside the lounge, on the floor. I will not be controlled by society. I will only destroy everyone - intended or not.

Dr. Kessler's face doesn't change expression, he just takes a seat across from me on the chair. He takes a look at his clipboard. "First, let's measure your height and weight. Take off your shoes."

_It doesn't matter whether I'm wearing shoes or not. Somehow, I will end up ruining you, somehow, somehow, somehow. And you have already ruined me, so I can just sit here forever. _I stare at him savagely, sending the message along with my eyes.

"I understand," Dr. Kessler nods, approaching, bending down, and pulling off my shoes himself. _Let him do it. You can't function properly anyway, you jinx._

He leads me, while I'm barefoot, down the hall. _Why am I here? _I shut my eyes and lower my head, attempting to block out everything in this horrible world, the way I wish I could obliterate it all. But it is no use - I can still hear the steady hum of the air conditioning.

"Stand against the wall, here," he directs me by the shoulders to his desired location - another moment of physical contact that could have killed him - and measures me with the chart painted on the wall. "Five foot eleven, eh? You're a tall one. Here, let's weigh you. Step into the scale..."

He nudges me onto the scale, a few feet away. "One-hundred thirty eight pounds. Dauntless Initiation must be as physical as they say, isn't it?" After a few seconds of silence, he shrugs. "I wasn't quite expecting a response anyway. Come, let's go back to the exam room. I'm just going to do a blood test to make sure you don't have a physical illness."

I sit back down on the floor beside the chaise, watching him pull out a small syringe. He gets onto his knees, on my level.

"It'll just be a small pinch," he says, swiping my arm with an alcohol wipe. _A slight pinch. Yeah, right. They are liars and cheaters - everyone. Liars and cheaters who take away everything i have to live for._

The needle is hovering over my arm when, suddenly, my other arm swings into his jaw. He falls over, but comes back up quickly, hardly looking pained. He uses one hand to pin me against the side of the chaise, while the other hand plunges the syringe into my arm. _Please, please, let this kill me. Before I can ruin anyone else's life, or kill anyone. I am done with everything._

Dr. Kessler fills the syringe with blood, and runs down the hall. He returns again in a few seconds, looking calm, though a bit winded.

"Sorry," Dr. Kessler apologizes. "I needed to hold you down for the test. But, hey, the other option is a urine test. I just sent down the blood for investigation. You don't seen sick, but we'll find out. With our advanced technology, we'll know once the appointment ends."

I glare at him, making him frantically grab for his clipboard to end the awkward silence. He sighs, distressed, when he sees what is written on his clipboard. "Okay, Tuvia, now I'll ask some questions. Please try to speak to me."

"Now, Tuvia, tell me about Dauntless Intiation."

"It's strength and fights," a voice says. I look around. Who is in here with us? I see nobody. Who is hiding?

"And is it stressful?"

"Not exactly. It's just a bit exhausting." Is that...my voice?

"And what about the other Initiates? Any friends?" He asks.

I feel like ripping out his liver. Too many questions, too many! "I...I...of course I have friends!" I cry out. He looks at me, challenging me.

"One of my best friends from childhood left me a few years ago to be a jerk's henchman, then the jerk left him because he turned out to be in love with another Initiate - a guy, by the way - and then my former friend...killed himself. And then one of my best friends was kicked out of Dauntless for being on the bottom." Everything tumbles out of my mouth, every bit dribbling out like vomit.

Dr. Kessler writes on his clipboard. "I see. Any relationships? A girlfriend? Or a boyfriend?"

"Uh, well, there's someone who I think is amazing and beautiful, who I wish we're my girlfriend," I confess, before I can stop myself. "She's smart, brave, and funny - and beautiful! And...I don't mind her germ fear! It's all just a part of her. But I'm a killing madman. Why would she love me that way?" _Love. I love her._

"You are not a madman," he assures me. "And you seem like a remarkable young man.

Now, Tuvia, what about your family?"

"My...my older brother transferred to Candor last year, and it's rough. Now my mom is a crazy, emotional witch of a woman. And, well, that's it. I won't really see any of my family ever again - with one of my parents being horrible, and my brother being Candor," I take a deep breath. This feels almost...good. Painful, to the point that I am on the brink of crying, but...good - and not in the same way that suffering has seemed good to me recently.

"Interesting," the doctor writes some more. "And what about your recent attack on - what's his name - Four?"

"He put me through a fear of mine through simulation - public humiliation. And...he condemned Lele, in real life, to being Factionless. He hurt me, took away something important."

"And what about the stabbing?"

"He taunted me. Calls me names all the time, and I can't take it. All of you are just pawns, useless killers who exist in society to destroy everything and everyone. Why should I _not _stab him? Everyone I know ends up with some sort of misfortune anyway."

"Whoa!" Dr. Kessler stops me. "Getting negative here. Think more positively, like in the other questions. Now, I noticed that you were in a state of depression. When did that start?"

"A few days ago. When Ioni died, and Lele was eliminated."

"Ah, I see...and the anger - when did that start to be so strong?"

I thought hard about this one. "I guess...when my brother, Nechemia, left for Candor. But, a few times during the year between our Choosing Ceremonies, when I wasn't angry or sad, I was extremely happy. In those times, I felt like I could do anything - but I sure couldn't sit still or stop talking," I think back to those random days of running through the halls, grinning at the feeling of the air rushing through my curls as I ran, getting in trouble for fidgeting too much and chattering - almost incoherently with speed.

"Uh-huh," Dr. Kessler scribbles something down. "One last question - you weren't talking to me the whole time. Why did you start now?"

I want to attack him for tricking me into talking, but I know it won't affect him much. "It felt...great to talk about it."

"Excellent," he smiles. "And we should have the results for the blood now. I'll go get it."

He leaves for a moment, leaving me to wonder what will happen: am I crazy? Am I sane? Do I even care? Is there a difference overall?

After pondering for what feels like lifetimes, so hard my brain hurts, he returns - with Four. "I thought he'd want to hear, Tuvia," Dr. Kessler answers to my shocked glare. "Stay calm.

The tests on his physical health came up perfectly healthy. I think, however, that I have a diagnosis. I asked several other, more experienced, and highly respected Erudite psychologists for their opinions, and we have a final decision: it is Bipolar II Disorder."

"I..." I stop, unable to continue. So, it's true: I'm crazy. Four puts a comforting arm around my shoulder.

"You'll be fine, Tuvia," Dr. Kessler reassures me. "We just need to give you some medication. We can mail it to you, or you can try to find it in Dauntless."

"That won't work well - Dauntless has a very limited hospital. They won't have the pills. Just send them to us," Four decides.

"Okay. Nice to meet you, Tuvia. And, both of you, have a good day."

Four and I exit the practice and return to the Dauntless compound. By now, everyone is at dinner. But I don't feel like eating. Why should I eat? I am, after all, crazy.

"Come to dinner, Tuvia," Four tugs my arm gently.

"I'll come in a minute. I just want to, uh, change my clothes," I lie. He shrugs and walks to dinner, while I run down, blinded with confusion, to the dormitory. I flop onto my bed, trying to be as small as possible. I am just wasting space with my insanity. _Why don't I just jump off that Chasm now? I know what's wrong with me, after all. _I shudder and gasp, not understanding that I'm crying until I feel a single tear drop from my face.

"H...Hey," the door creaks open. "I thought you'd be here."

_Sivan. _"Why are you here?" I ask her. "Don't you know I'm insane?" _I can only hurt her._

I fell pressure sinking slightly inward at the foot of my bed as she sits beside me. "You're not crazy. And I'd know, being the germophobe that I am."

"You're not crazy, Sivan," I sit up beside her, wondering if I should comfort her by hugging her, or if she would have to shower thoroughly if I did.

"You know I am," she flashes a sad smile.

"Fine." I say and, without thinking, I lean forward and kiss her. We hold it, one universe within the big universe around us, for a few seconds. When we break apart, I say, "Then we can both be insane."

When I realize what I have done - and what it can do to her - my breathing catches in my throat. Her face is completely blank, staring at me. I wait, wondering what will happen, when she suddenly leaps to the side, kissing me fiercely, surprising me. _This _is my best friend, Sivan, who can't even touch a doorknob? _I like it, this Sivan, _I think as she wraps her arms around me.

After a million blissful years - or, maybe, about a minute or so - we break apart again.

"I thought you can't have physical contact with other people," I grin.

She smiles shyly. "You aren't another person. You are a part of me." She leans her head on my shoulder. "Two nutty, insane, completely _normal _teenagers - who are just one."

**I just want to clarify that I'm not copying Labelma - I have been planning on doing this chapter since we started planning out our first chapters, and so has she. We just hadn't exactly realized that our plans would end up falling together at the same time. Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you liked this chapter, and...byyyyye!**


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